The Gender Roles in Tango (II)

The man is physically bigger, heavier, stronger, firmer, and more reliable. He plays the masculine role in tango. The following are the functions of his role:

1. Leading the woman. For the couple to dance in unison, the movement of the two must agree. For this to happen, only one person must lead, and the other must follow. In tango, the man leads the woman. He does this not by force, but by showing an intention of how he wants her to move, with a signal from his torso that she in his embrace can feel. He then follows her reaction and matches her step to complete the lead.

2. Supporting the woman. The man must be supportive to the woman. Although the woman is responsible for keeping her own balance, in reality she often needs his help, especially if she is a less experienced dancer. The man must be a pillar for her and as stable as a refrigerator. Any unsteadiness and unbalance on his part will shake her trust and confidence.

3. Timing her steps to the music. The man must lead the woman dance to the music. His musicality is the most important element of good leading. He must not stick in the steps he wants to lead and forget about the music. He must not just pay attention to his own timing and forget about hers. Instead, he must focus on timing her steps to the music. Because he dances for her.

4. Shining her. A true gentleman lets the woman shine. He leads her dance in such a way that displays her beauty and gives full play to her femininity. He makes her, rather than himself, the center of attention. He does not  show off over her for self glorification.

5. Protecting her. The man must be very protective to the woman. He must prevent her from being bumped, stepped or kicked by others. He must obey the traffic law, respect the line of dance, keep a distance from others, stop if necessary, and not run into people. And he must not lead steps that may hurt her or others.

6. Being gentle to her. It is not manly to be rude and pushy to the woman. A gentleman treats the woman with respect, appreciation, and gentleness. He leads her carefully, patiently, tenderly and protectively. He makes her feel pampered in his embrace, and let her fully enjoy dancing with him.

The woman is physically smaller, lighter, softer, more flexible and beautiful. She plays the feminine role in tango. The following are the functions of her role:

1. Complete surrender. The woman must surrender herself to the man. She must let go her ego, melt in his embrace, be obedient, and move in unison with him. By her surrender she dispels his misgivings and gives him permission to be her leader. Just like when a baby is born the parents become grownups, she makes him a man by being a woman.

2. Following the lead. She must be calm and unhurried, wait for his signal to tell her how to move, and follow the lead one step at a time. She must not act on her own, interfere with the lead, or initiate the step. However, while being obedient, she must also remain an active part of the dance. Following is not passively responding. It is a dynamic action that takes wits, ingenuity and creativeness.

3. Being light. She must make herself light and easy for him to lead. She must not put too much weight on the man and cause heaviness to him. She must keep her own balance and not grab or hang on him for support. She must be sensitive to the lead and ready to respond at all time. And, she must move dexterously.

4. Keeping her beat. A good follower follows by intuition so she can concentrate on the music rather than the lead. The man does his part to lead her dance to the music, but he can only do so by estimating the beat. The problem with estimating is that he can't be one hundred percent accurate at all time. The woman must listen to the music and be responsible for micro-adjusting her steps to the beat.

5. Complementing the man. As his partner, she must help him, bring out his strengths, and make up his weaknesses. She excites him with her passion and femininity, and dances in such a way that is light and inspiring. She supports him when he loses balance, keeps the beat when he is off time, slows him down if he rushes, and warns him when he is to bump into others.

6. Beautifying the dance. A woman is a natural beautician and decorator. Beauty is her specialty. The man leads the dance, but it is the woman who shines the dance with her beautiful footwork and adornments. A good follower, however, embellishes her footwork in such a way that does not interfere with the lead. Rather, she remains in complete unison with the leader while doing the embellishments.

7. Being feminine. The woman must not dance as a mechanical follower, but as a woman. She must willfully display her female softness, flexibility, grace and seductiveness. She must make the man feel comfortable. She understands that her womanhood, femininity and gentle softness are the reason why he enjoys dancing with her rather than with a man. By being a woman, she can bring out the best in him and be rewarded fully in return.