Tango and Trust

Trust forms the foundation of human social life, acting as the glue that binds us together in relationships and society. Our need for trust stems from our personal limitations, vulnerabilities, and interdependence as individuals. Humans, as inherently social beings, seek trust-based connections, which enable cooperation, teamwork, and physical and emotional support. Trust fulfills not only practical needs, such as working together for survival and success, but also emotional needs, like overcoming loneliness and feeling accepted and safe. It serves as a vital mechanism for managing personal vulnerability, forming bonds, exchanging support, and maintaining social harmony. We long to trust others and to be trusted in return. Without trust, we would struggle alone, unable to cope with these fundamental aspects of the human condition.

Tango, in particular, satisfies this need for trust, which is one of the reasons for its enduring popularity. As a dance of intimacy, connection, and surrender, tango is not just about enjoyment or performance. It offers a refuge from loneliness, a space to reveal vulnerability, and an opportunity to seek comfort in another person's arms. In tango, we seek to touch and be touched, to rely on someone's shoulder, and to quench our thirst for connection and love. Dancing tango requires complete trust between partners, so that they can fully engage and immerse themselves in the experience. Tango heals psychologically by allowing us to expose our inner selves and vulnerability in the embrace. This exposure or openness requires trust. Without it, dancers cannot give themselves completely, nor can they reap the emotional and psychological rewards of the dance.

On a practical level, trust is equally essential in tango because this dance relies on close physical contact, non-verbal communication, and mutual reinforcement to execute the movements, requiring dancers to be physically and mentally attuned to each other and trust that their partner will always be there for support. If trust is lacking, dancers can become self-conscious and tense, holding back emotionally and hesitating to let go. Unfortunately, the lack of trust remains a main problem in our tango.

One key reason people struggle with tango is a broader crisis of trust that reflects deeper societal issues. The decline of trust in American society stems from factors like rampant selfishness, economic instability, increased stress and competition, rising inequality, high inflation, commercial fraud, cybercrime, partisan strifes, ideological wars, and media-driven misinformation, etc. These forces create an atmosphere of suspicion and distrust. American culture prioritizes self-reliance, individual achievement, and personal success. People often focus more on their own needs and strategies than on moral considerations and collective well-being. This heightens tension, competition, and mistrust between individuals. As people face economic hardships, political divisions, and deceit in various aspects of life, they become wary, fearing guile, manipulation and betrayal. This pervasive lack of trust seeps into personal interactions, making it difficult to surrender to the vulnerability that tango demands. When we don’t trust, we disengage, choosing alienation and control over connection and cooperation.

Tango offers profound lessons on the importance of trust. In a world where trust is increasingly fragile, this intimate dance reminds us that human connection and cooperation are only possible when we trust each other. By embracing trust on the dance floor, we may rediscover the key to restoring it in the wider world. Confucius regarded benevolence, justice, propriety, wisdom and trust as basic human qualities. Tango, with its emphasis on trust, can serve as a powerful tool for rebuilding our faith in these qualities and in humanity. Through this dance of intimacy, connection, and surrender, we can relearn how to trust and rely on one another. Tango teaches us the joy that arises from surrendering control in the right context, reminding us that not every situation requires us to be in charge. Sometimes, perhaps more often, the most fulfilling experiences come from trusting each other and moving in harmony together.