tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819457662362650663.post1548486314595294661..comments2024-01-31T09:07:07.862-06:00Comments on In Search of Tango: Tolerance and GritPaul Yanghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10850021582471988048noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819457662362650663.post-76109851572023906752016-06-04T09:16:20.852-05:002016-06-04T09:16:20.852-05:00Excellent point. The first time I completely enjoy...Excellent point. The first time I completely enjoyed a tanda was in my sixth year, in BsAs, where the dance level, number of dancers and chance of meeting a match are all higher. Dance level, by which I don't only mean skills but also the understanding of the dance, matters. It is true that with increased experience and expectation, chances of meeting a match seem decrease, even to a point that one may lose hope. That's why I wrote this piece. Miracles favor not quitters, but those who are prepared. I recommend Angela Duckworth's book, Grit: Power of Passion and Perseverance. Paul Yanghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10850021582471988048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819457662362650663.post-81155133840945843292016-06-03T11:58:39.227-05:002016-06-03T11:58:39.227-05:00“Only by repeating the ordinary countless times ca...“Only by repeating the ordinary countless times can one obtain the extraordinary.”? Fourteen years of tango. When was your first magic tanda? One or two years in? When I think back at my skill level at my first magic tanda I’m convinced the miracle wasn’t the heavenly connection; it’s that the magic happened to me, such a low skilled dancer. I don’t think a magical connection is created by will, or improved dance skill. It happens when the moment is right.<br />Recently I had a discussion about magic tandas with man who is an excellent dancer, professional instructor, and performer. I asked him how often he has a magic tanda. I was surprised when he said he had a few when he reached a certain level of proficiency, but hadn’t had any in years. Maybe because tango is a vocation, maybe because he thinks about technique too much, maybe because his reputation creates expectations, maybe because dancing for personal enjoyment just isn’t available. Who knows? But the skills he developed through tolerance and grit have never been higher. In his case, the number of magic tandas appears to be inversely related to skill. I’m wary of these notions of grit, tolerating, paying your dues, suffering, earning status, achieving excellence….climbing the hierarchy. This is the language of a shame culture, where inclusion and exclusion are the motivating factors, and the mob defines right and wrong. I prefer offering your embrace, accepting the lead, learning from the novice, connecting, allowing time, opening your heart, 惜缘. This is the language of a community regulated by conscience. I encourage people to web search “Honor-Shame vs. Guilt-Conscience cultures”, and look at their tango community from that perspective, and the header statement that appears on In Search of Tango. T-SVBnoreply@blogger.com