Partner-Centered Leading vs. Self-Centered Leading

Leaders are either self-centered or partner-centered. A partner-centered leader dances for his partner. He leads her to dance in a thoughtful, gentle, patient and attentive way. A self-centered leader, on the contrary, focuses on his own performance and tends to compel the woman do things beyond her comfortable zone. For example, he leads her to take very big steps, which a partner-centered leader would break into smaller steps; or leads her to chase the beats, whereas a partner-centered leader would allow her time to finish her steps; or leads her to do arbitrary figures, whereas a partner-centered leader would use simple steps to display her natural beauty; or shows off his skills and uses her as a foil to his own exhibition, whereas a partner-centered leader would accommodate her, pamper her, shine her and let her be the center of attention.

Here is an example of self-centered leading.

In this example, the man focused only on the routines and failed to display the woman's beauty. He prioritized his personal performance while neglecting his responsibility to make his partner feel good and enjoy the dance. He hastily chased the beats and rushed the woman to do awkward steps and drastic turns regardless of the lamentable mood of the music. As a result, his self-exhibition overshadowed her performance.

In contrast, a partner-centered leader dances for the woman. Here is an example of partner-centered leading.

In this example the man didn't force the woman to take awkward steps, as being the case in the first clip, but led her to dance in simple and natural steps. He didn't just focus on his routines and forget about the music, as being the case in the first clip, but let her enjoy, resonate with and dance to the music. He didn't coerce her with the arms and hands, as being the case in the first clip, but kept her in the comfort of his embrace and led her very gently with his torso. He didn't lead her without thinking, as being the case in the first clip, but carefully maintained her axis and led her by inertia to make the movement easy for her. He didn't force her to rotate on a tilted axis, as being the case in the first clip, but adjusted his position to accommodate her turns on her own axis. He didn't rush her to chase the beat and take drastic actions, as being the case in the first clip, but danced slower and used more pauses to reflect the melancholy mood of the song while giving her time to finish each step before he took the next lead.

These made it possible for her to concentrate inwardly on feelings and the quality of her dance. Because the woman dances around the man, she needs to swivel her hips and pivot her lower body with one leg in order to step to his side with the other leg. After each step she also needs to pivot and turn back her hips to get ready for the next step in a different direction. This technique, known as dissociation, complicates her movement and takes more time for her to complete each step. The man must understand that and allow her time to finish the step before taking the next lead, as exemplified by this man in the video. We can tell her appreciation from the way she looked at him at the end.

Please watch the video again in playback speed 0.75 in full screen to see how beautiful a woman's dance can be when she has a good leader. I recommend using this video as a teaching tool. Every tango man, novice and veteran alike, can learn something about how to lead the woman from this video. (See The Elegance of the Mionguero Style.)