The comforting embrace, enchanting music, and rhythmic motion of the milonguero style of tango can lull a woman into a daydream-like state - akin to a baby swaying to sleep in her cradle - so deeply that when the tanda ends, she may not want to wake. I call this magical experience the “cradle effect” (see Tango Is a Feeling).
At the beginning of a tanda, a woman may try to keep some distance if she doesn’t know her partner well. However, an experienced leader knows how to help her relax, ease her resistance, and captivate her with the dance. Here are three ways to achieve this.
1. Create a Comfortable Embrace
The first is to offer a comfortable embrace, or to put it figuratively, provide her with a cozy cradle. You must embrace her gently, tenderly and affectionately so that she feels comfortable and safe, not coerced or confined. You should allow her the space she desires, but must do your best to lead her with your torso rather than your arms and hands. When she follows your torso instead of your arms and hands, she focuses more on the feelings rather than the steps, and her experience of the dance becomes more emotional than mechanical.
2. Engage Her with the Music
The second is to immerse her in the music, or figuratively speaking, hypnotize her with the music. You must dance the music and not the steps, so that her attention is tuned to the music rather than the steps. You have to let her resonate with the music and forget about the movements in order to enter the daydreaming state. To do so you need to present her with your own interpretation of the music. If you step to every beat mechanically without any interpretation, then she will do the same without actually listening to the music and enjoying the interaction with you. Here again, good music plays a crucial role, which, however, is in the hands of the DJ. Dancers can only use whatever music provided to them as much as possible (see My Two Cents on Music Selections).
3. Keep the Steps Simple
The third is to make the steps simple and easy so that she doesn't need to work hard on the movements and is able to give her full attention to the music and feelings. You should not make her do intricate, fancy steps because the goal here is to mesmerize her and not to impress. Difficult steps defeat that purpose. Generally speaking, natural, small, simple, and rhythmic movements make it easier for the woman to enter a state of surrender. When you feel her stop struggling and fully give herself over to the moment, she is in that state.
On her part, all she needs to do is relaxing her body and surrendering herself to the man (see Learning Tango: Two Perspectives). The woman must overcome her ego, independence and desire to act, focusing instead on the embrace, connection, music, feelings, synchronization and being one with the man. Women in general are more intuitive, emotional, and responsive to music and sensory hypnosis, which may explain tango’s particular allure for them.
That said, the “cradle effect” is not exclusive to women. Men, too, desire to be rocked to sleep in a woman's cozy embrace. When both partners know how to do it, the dance becomes mesmeric, intoxicating and unforgettable (see Tango Is a Relationship).
Five thousand years ago, tribal alliances and city-states have emerged in the
Yellow River Basin and Yangtze River Basin in eastern Asia. These civilizations
gradually merged and became known as China, and continued to expand until it
encountered natural obstacles in every direction. To its northeast lay the cold
and harsh Siberia, while the north was dominated by the desolate Mongolian
Deserts. The west was composed of many mountain ranges with altitudes exceeding
5,000 meters, among them the highest Himalayas are 8,848 meters above sea level.
The southwest featured the rugged terrain of the Yunnan-Guizhou Plateau and
dense tropical jungles, and to the southeast and east lay the vast Pacific
Ocean. These formidable natural barriers, insurmountable in ancient times,
effectively isolated China from the outside world. Protected by these natural
barriers, the Yellow River and Yangtze River basins enjoy a temperate climate
and abundant rainfall brought by the Pacific monsoon, making these regions
suitable for agriculture. This unique geographical environment has played a
significant role in shaping the distinct characteristics of the Chinese
nation.
The Chinese civilization was able to develop its unique and remarkable culture,
largely due to geographical barriers that prevented outside influence. These
same barriers also provided protection against foreign aggression, allowing
China to remain the only civilization to survive uninterrupted for five thousand
years. Confined by geographical barriers the ancient Chinese thought that the
land they lived in constituted the main body of the world, which they called
tianxia, literally, "under heaven." The Yellow River and Yangtze River basins
are located in the center of that world; thus China was named Zhongguo, or
literally, "central country." Richly endowed by nature, China was much more
developed than the surrounding uncivilized fringe lands. Chinese peasants who
settled in kinship-based villages became attached to their fertile farmland and
showed little interest in exploring the arid, barren areas beyond their borders.
This fostered their peaceful and restrained temperament. Instead of expanding
outward militarily, they built the Great Wall to protect themselves from the
nomads of the north. This 21,000-kilometer wall, locates on the 400 mm
isoprecipitation line and spanning from east to west, served as a dividing line
between agrarian life and nomadic life. The nomads who entered the Great Wall
were eventually assimilated by Chinese farming culture, becoming Chinese
themselves. Therefore, Chinese civilization is a product of its geography,
attesting the advantage of the sedentary, productive way of life over the
nomadic, predatory way of life. The Chinese take great pride in their land,
culture and lifestyle, as China has been the most developed, civilized, and
prosperous country in the world until the Industrial Revolution.
Due to this closed geographical environment, the ancient Chinese formed their
monistic worldview, believing that the world was an integrated whole rather than
as fragmented parts. The Chinese world was not a pluralistic world composed of
many sovereign countries, but a monist world with China being the only civilized
empire in the center. The surrounding ethnic tribes were viewed as vassals in
the Chinese tributary system, many of which were gradually sinicized and became
part of China. In 221 BC, the state of Qin (pronounced chin) achieved the
unification of China by defeating all other Chinese states. Qin established a
unified empire with a centralized government, abolished enfeoffment, set up
prefectures and counties, and standardized the law, writing system, currency,
vehicle tracks, weights, and measures. Some researchers pointed out that the
need to share water resources and carry out large-scale water conservancy and
irrigation projects involving large areas of land and huge human investment was
an important reason why the ancient Chinese attached importance to unity,
sharing, collectivism, cooperation and a centralized system. Qin's system,
inherited by all succeeding Chinese dynasties, laid the foundation for China's
long-term unification, and had a profound impact on shaping the stability,
sophistication and continuity of Chinese culture. In return, this culture has
demonstrated a remarkable capacity for assimilation and integration. The
Confucian notion of dayitong, or grand unity, reflects this holistic,
magnanimous, and all-encompassing nature of Chinese culture. Its influence is so
great that neighboring vassal states sought to emulate it. Throughout history,
many ethnic groups who partially or entirely conquered China were eventually
assimilated and integrated into Chinese culture. This process of sinicization,
rather than military expansion, is responsible for the vast territory of China
and stands as a testament to the strength of Chinese civilization. (See
The Impact of Chinese Characters.)
Consistent with this monistic worldview is the Confucian outlook on society,
which also is holistic. The datong society, or the grand unitary society, as
spelled out in Confucian classics, is a society where people all care about its
well-being as a whole, the wise and virtue are selected to govern, honest people
live in harmony, the weak and sick are taken care of, and there is no evil and
crime. It is the ideal harmonious society in the minds of the Chinese people.
Unlike in the West where individuals are deemed independent entities,
accountable only to their own interests, and the strong bully the weak is the
norm, causing people to be egocentric and belligerent, Confucianism promotes a
society that is like a large family wherein members cooperate, seek common
ground, prioritize communal interests over personal interests, and work together
as a team. In Confucianism, individuals are not seen as isolated and autonomous,
but rather as members of society who are born into certain relationships with
specific roles and responsibilities to fulfill. They follow etiquettes designed
to maintain social harmony, just like tango dancers need to observe the
milonga codes
in the milongas. These etiquettes or proprieties were practiced before the time
of Confucius by the people of the West Zhou Dynasty (11th century BC-771 BC).
Confucius (551 BC-479 BC) and his disciples were advocates and scholars of these
ancient rites. In other words, Confucianism is rooted in an earlier Chinese
tradition.
Confucianism values the harmonious relationships among people and the interests
of society as a whole. It believes that the people are the foundation of society
and society can only remain stable if it has a solid foundation. A Confucian
ruler is like the head of a large family whose authority is derived from the
people and whose responsibility is to ensure the well-being of the people.
Confucius said, "The ruler is the boat, and the people are the water. Water can
carry the boat, and water can overturn the boat." Mencius (372 BC-289 BC),
another Confucian sage, also emphasized the role of the people, stating that
they are the most important, followed by the state, and the monarch is the
least. Confucianism holds that the legitimacy of the ruler comes from the
support or mandate of the people, and a ruler who is unrighteous will lose that
mandate. In other words, Confucianism is a people-centered, rather than
ruler-centered, God-centered, or capital-centered, collectivist humanism, as
opposed to the individualistic humanism of the West. This collectivist humanism
has had a profound impact on Chinese politics, including Sun Yat-sen's Three
Principles of the People, the CCP's aim of serving the people, and more recently
Xi Jinping’s initiative on building a community with shared future for all
mankind. (See
Democracy vs. Plutocracy.)
Rooted in this collectivist humanism, Confucianism promotes the idea of
benevolent governance. Confucius believed that benevolence is the essence of
human nature that distinguishes humans from animals. Unlike Machiavelli who
separated morality and politics, Confucius held that personal morality and the
governance of the country are closely related. A ruler must be a saint at heart,
a moral leader, and a role model, and only through self cultivation can he
manage his family, govern his country, and bring peace to the world. Confucius
maintained that proprieties are the external expression and must be grounded in
benevolence in order to be authentic, or else they become nothing more than a
facade of insincerity. His followers, however, split into two camps. The school
that emphasized benevolence was later recognized as the orthodoxy of
Confucianism. The school that prioritized proprieties later evolved into
Legalism. Qin’s unification of China in 221 BC was achieved through the use of
military power and severe penal laws under the influence of the Legalist school
of thought. Due to its brutality, the Qin Dynasty survived with only two rulers
before it was overthrown by widespread rebellions. Learned from this lesson, in
134 BC Emperor Wu of the Western Han Dynasty accepted the advice of a Confucian
scholar, Dong Zhongshu (179 BC-104 BC), to replace other schools of thought with
Confucianism exclusively and practice benevolent rule. Since then Confucianism
has become the official doctrine of China. Different from Christianity and
Machiavellianism, which maintain that human nature is inherently evil,
Confucianism believes that human nature is inherently good, therefore opposes
the Legalist idea of using strict laws and harsh punishments as the main means
of governing, and advocates for ruling with virtue and education, thus beginning
the Chinese tradition of respecting for morality and learning.
In 587 AD, Emperor Wen of the Sui Dynasty established the imperial examination
system, which combined education and official selection into one system, further
promoted Confucian learning, opened the way for talented people from all walks
of life to enter politics, and gave rise to the scholar-official class. The
imperial examination system played a key role in forming China's advanced and
effective political bureaucracy. China's modern civil servant selection system
is developed from the imperial examination system. Many researchers have
concluded that compared with Western electoral democracy, China’s
meritocratic system
is more capable of producing leaders with moral integrity and practical
knowledge and abilities, as attested by China's glorious history and its
achievements in the last four decades, as well as its recent handling of the
covid-19 pandemic. In the past, the imperial examination system failed to
prevent
dynastic cycles. Now the Chinese try to fix that by political reforms such as collective
decision making, clean government, self-correction, disciplinary inspection,
anti-corruption, people's supervision of the government, reporting and
petitioning system, age and term limits for officials, and impeachment
procedures, etc., to improve their system, ensure good governance, and prevent
it from becoming an autocracy.
It is also from this people-centered collectivist humanism that Confucianism
advocates for the equitable distribution of wealth, and denounces the practices
of putting economic interests above morality, using unethical means to
accumulate wealth, competing for monetary gain, and widening the discrepancy
between rich and poor. Confucians argued that the ruler should disperse the
nation's wealth among the people and not fight with the people for wealth.
“Rulers should not worry about not having enough but inequality.” said
Confucius. This moral view encouraged Chinese rulers through the ages to adopt
more egalitarian policies and implement benevolent governance. On the other
hand, this emphasis on morality and learning has led to a historical devaluation
of merchants in traditional Chinese society, where they were ranked below
scholars, farmers, and craftsmen. The early practices of the CCP after the
founding of the People's Republic of China in 1949 reflected this Confucian
tendency, prioritizing morality and scholarship over business. However, during
the reform and opening up era initiated by Deng Xiaoping, the government shifted
its stance to encourage business and entrepreneurship, with the slogan of
"letting some people get rich first." Subsequently, the Chinese government has
also introduced policies aimed at poverty alleviation and anti-monopoly,
upholding the Confucian tradition of egalitarianism, while recognizing the
importance of economic development as the means to common prosperity. This
emphasis on production over commerce has also resulted in China's physiocratic
tradition, prioritizing agriculture and manufacturing instead of taking the path
of profit-driven capitalism, mercantilism and financialism that may initially
stimulate the growth of the economy but will umtimately lead to its hollowing
out, corruption and failure. (See
Mammonism.)
Another Confucian concept that has had a farreaching influence on the Chinese
people is the doctrine of the mean, which emphasizes the virtue of moderation
and harmony. Confucius believed that harmony is the fundamental law of nature,
while the Golden Mean is the way to achieve it, that extremism turns things into
their opposite, that being excessive is as bad as being dificient, and that
humility, politeness, impartiality, and avoiding extremes are qualities of a
true gentleman. Confucius believed that deviation from the doctrine of the mean
would lead to disastrous consequences for the country, as history has repeatedly
shown. (See
Meeting in the Middle.) It is worth noting that this Confucian proposition is incompatible with
Western liberalism and individualism. Chinese people lack the arrogant, bigoted,
extreme, domineering and aggressive spirit of many Westerners, Confucianism is
the main reason. This emphasis on moderation, balance and harmony has prevented
the Chinese from engaging in Western-style partisan politics, which tend to
create division, conflict, hostility and polarity. While Western culture
emphasizes partisanship and competition, Chinese culture prioritizes unity and
cooperation. The Chinese tend to look at issues in a holistic, comprehensive and
balanced manner. Today's Chinese leadership is acutely aware that both morality
and personal freedom are important and an excessive focus on either one can be
detrimental. Overemphasis on morality can stifle initiative and creativity,
while overemphasis on individual liberty can worsen conflict and inequality. The
balance, however, is not easy to achieve. Historically, Confucian morality has
been transformed by Neo-Confucianists into a rigid ideology that restricted
personal freedom. Western liberalism and individualism are the opposite extreme.
The Chinese now strive to find a balance and build a harmonious society with
both social morality and individual freedom. (See
Pluralism vs. Monism.)
The peaceful life of the Chinese has finally come to an end. In 1840, Western
powers used opium, warships and cannons to finally bombard China's door open,
forcing the government of the Qing Dynesty, the last Chinese dynesty, to sign a
series of unequal treaties for ceding territories and indemnities. Under such
humiliating defeat and the realization of the gap between agricultural China and
the then already industrialized West, the Chinese began to look for ways to save
their country. In the next eight decades since the first Opium War, they tried
the Westernization Movement (1861-1895) that attempted to develop China's
industry and modern armies and navies, the Reform Movement of 1898 that
attempted to reform China's imperial system, and the Revolution of 1911 that
overthrew the monarchy. All these failed to save China. The plunder of Western
powers and the domestic turmoil and warlords’ melee after the overthrow of the
monarchy have drained China's resources, turning China from the richest country
in the world into one of the poorest.
Some Chinese eventually concluded that the root of China's ills lay in its
culture. In 1919, the radical May Fourth New Culture Movement broke out. Willing
to try anything in a desperate situation, some Chinese intellectuals blamed
Confucianism, especially Neo-Confucianism, for China's failure, accusing it of
restricting individual freedom and social progress, and advocated bringing it
down and replacing it with Western-style liberal democracy and capitalism. Other
Chinese intellectuals were skeptical about Western liberalism and capitalism,
turned to another Western ideology, Marxism, for help, believing that socialism
is more in line with China's ideal of a harmonious society. This led to the
confrontation between the KMT and the CCP. In the end, the side with the support
of the majority of the Chinese prevailed, and the loser, the KMT, fled to the
Chinese island of Taiwan across the Taiwan Strait. In the first three decades
after the founding of New China in 1949, the Chinese, while facing the blockade
by Western powers, did many groundwork for its latter development, including
land reform, women's liberation, universal free education and healthcare, and
basic industrial infrastruture building, etc. Many lessons were learned from
trial and error. In 1978, under the leadership of Deng Xiaoping, the CCP
re-examined the lessons learned from the previous thirty years, made the
decision to reform and open up in an attempt to release people's initiative by
introducing market mechanisms into the Chinese economy while maintaining the
structural advantages of its socialist system.
We have all witnessed what happened afterwards. In just 40 years, China has been
miraculously transformed from a poor and weak country into the world's second
largest economy with a 42-fold increase in GDP, become the world’s largest
manufacturing powerhouse, lifted 770 million people out of poverty, created a
middle class of over 400 million people, with per capita income increased by 23
times, made the average life expectancy of its population now longer than that
of the US, become the world's largest investment market, largest consumer market
and largest trading partner with more than 130 countries, and is playing an
increasing role in world economy and international affairs. Unlike some Western
power that practices hegemonism, bullying, intervention, containment,
subversion, and coercive diplomacy, China’s foreign policies stand fast to the
five guiding principles of international relations, namely, mutual respect for
sovereignty and territorial integrity, non-aggression, non-interference in
internal affairs, equality and mutual benefit, and peaceful coexistence, along
with China's Belt and Road initiative for global common prosperity and the
initiative for the establishment of a community with a shared future for
mankind. These foreign policies have obvious Confucian influence and are
supported by more and more countries in the world.
China is entering the most prosperous era in its history again, and it is
accomplishing this not by aggressing, conquering and looting other peoples, but
by leading its own people to work hard and cooperate with other countries for
win-win results. These achievements restored the Chinese people's confidence in
their own thought, culture, system, and path. The core values of Chinese
civilization were established by Confucianism, without these values, socialism
with Chinese characteristics and Chinese-style modernization - a different kind
of modernization that emphasizes civilized values, equality, justice, green
economy, common prosperity, peaceful development, and international cooperation
- would not have been possible. Confucianism embodies the accumulated wisdom of
the Chinese people, emphasizing the unity, balance and harmony between humanity
and nature, individual and society, law and virtue, morality and economy, ruler
and the people, and between individuals. With its holistic vision, magnanimity,
idealism, and positive thinking, Confucianism has served as a unifying force and
the source of strength for the Chinese people, encouraging them to continuously
improve themselves and their country, and given China its competitive edge.
While Confucianism must adapt to changing times, as it has always done in the
past, it is deeply embedded in the language, literature, culture, thinking,
conducts and consciousness of the Chinese people. For more than two thousand
years, Confucianism has been repeatedly tested, replenished and enriched by
generations of Chinese. It will continue to have an impact on their quest for a
better future. (See
Understanding China: Yellow River and the Character of the Chinese
Nation.)