Achieving Comfortable Arm and Hand Position in Close Embrace

In close embrace, the man’s left elbow and the woman’s right elbow should be bent at approximately 75 degrees, allowing their hands to meet at shoulder height. Naturally, their palms face their own body centers, with the thumbs on top and the little fingers underneath. However, this orientation prevents the hands from clasping properly—they need to face each other to interlock. Initially, both partners may adjust their hand positions to accommodate one another, but men often unconsciously revert to turning their palms inward during the dance, causing the woman’s hand to twist uncomfortably outward.

To prevent this, the man must consciously keep his palm facing the woman rather than his own center. He can also extend his left arm outward rather than keeping it raised in front of his shoulder—this naturally orients his palm toward the woman. Alternatively, the partners may avoid clasping hands altogether. The woman can instead place the lower part of her palm on his upturned palm or let him hold the back of her hand. This eliminates any twisting or discomfort in her right hand.

The man should lead with his torso, keeping his arms and hands completely relaxed to avoid unconsciously using them to direct movements. If the woman feels that her hand is being held too tightly, she should signal the man to adjust his grip rather than waiting until the dance is over to mention it. Since we all have habits that may be uncomfortable for others, communication is essential. Both partners must work together to adapt and accommodate each other throughout the dance.

Women often do not realize that men must constantly adjust their arms to allow the woman to move freely within the embrace. Some women wrap their left arm around the man's right arm, unaware that this puts weight on his arm and restricts its movement. This positioning also shifts the woman's body to the man's right side, reducing her sensitivity to changes in his body position and preventing her from performing the cruzada when he walks on her left (see Why Women Fail to Do the Cruzada).

The correct embrace is symmetrical, with partners facing each other chest-to-chest. His left hand and her right hand meet at shoulder height, his right arm wraps around her torso, and her left arm hooks over his right shoulder, keeping their bodies perfectly aligned. This embrace not only fosters greater intimacy and comfort but also enhances the woman’s ability to perceive subtle shifts in the man’s body, so when he walks on her right, she will naturally reposition her body with the cruzada to stay aligned with him.

Tango is a feeling-oriented dance that should be danced in the most comfortable and communicative embrace possible. Dancers must not cling to social customs or personal habits at the expense of connection and their partner’s comfort. The embrace described here best expresses the intimacy and inward focus that tango demands. While it may not align with everyone's personal preferences, tango requires dancers to prioritize partnership over individual comfort. For many beginners, learning this is the first significant hurdle they must overcome.