The Chivalry of the Milongueros

A century ago, during Argentina's peak immigration wave, Buenos Aires faced a staggering gender imbalance: five men for every woman. Picture this—in a standard milonga, fifty men competed for the chance to dance with just ten women. The odds were overwhelmingly against the men, leaving many too hesitant to approach a woman for a dance. Instead, they observed from a distance, waiting for a woman's nod. Only then did they dare to dance with the goddess. This is the origin of cabeceo (see Women's Role in Cabeceo). Prior to dancing with a real woman, men had to spend months or even years to practice with other guys until they had fully grasped the craft. They had to be exceptionally careful while dancing with a woman, fearing to lose the favor of the goddess if she felt slightest discomfort. This deep appreciation and respect for women evolved into a distinctive hallmark of Argentina's tango culture.

With such a gender imbalance, the privilege of dancing with a woman was reserved only for men who could genuinely satisfy her. Self-focused dancers stood little chance against milongueros who had mastered a comfortable embrace, exquisite musicality, and the art of dancing for women. Laypeople might dismiss milongueros as idlers (see Tango and the Outlook on Life), but if you think those goddesses, surrounded by a large company of admirers, would pick a mediocre as dance partner, you certainly underestimated the goddesses. Even today, women direct their gaze only toward the best. They avoid men who are sloppy, insecure, lack a comfortable embrace, show poor musicality, lead with their arms and hands, cannot perform cabeceo, disregard the codes, or lack manners. Not to mention in those days. Therefore, milongueros are a group sophisticated tango elites with deep knowledge about the dance, its music, codes, culture, lunfardo, and the ways of the milonga world. Like medieval European knights, who were gallant, honorable, generous, kind, and respectful especially to women, or feudal Japanese samurais, who were loyal, courageous, and preferred death over dishonor, Argentine milongueros are a group of skilled specialists who follow certain tenets also. For them, tango is a religion and milonga codes are not only guild regulations but life principles. One may say that, though without formal titles, the Argentine milongueros are a comparable class to European knights, Japanese samurais and Chinese literati. Their doctrine is the chivalry, bushido and Confucian orthodoxy of Argentina.

Times, however, have changed. Today, the gender ratio in milongas is closer to one man for every 1.3 women. Additionally, the traditional gallantry of milongueros now faces criticism from feminists, who encourage women to compete with men for dominance (see Tango and Gender Equality). Consequently, the admiration and respect men once held for women have diminished. Nowadays, even beginners who struggle to walk stably feel entitled to oblige women to dance with them, using them as foils for their self-centered displays. One has to reckon that a failure of feminism. Feminists thought that equality could be achieved by making women as strong and aggressive as men, little did they realize that once women lose their femininity, they are no longer the goddesses in men's eyes.

Today’s men and women must draw lessons from history and contemplate their interactions. Masculinity and femininity, shaped by millions of years of human evolution, are nature’s solution for harmonizing the two genders. To ensure the well-being of humanity, women must retain their femininity, and men must cherish and value women. Gender roles play a crucial part in the survival and prosperity of the human species. Ignoring the natural laws governing the sexes can lead to devastating repercussions (see Tango and Gender Issues). I hope men will continue to value women as they did when the ratio was five men to one woman. Similarly, I wish for women to preserve their femininity and resist adopting masculine traits. Tango was created as a bridge to unite the sexes. I wish it remains that way (see Tango and Gender Interdependence).