The Chivalry of the Milongueros

A century ago during Argentina's peak immigration wave, Buenos Aires had a staggering gender imbalance: five men for every woman. Picture this: in a standard milonga, fifty men vied for the chance to dance with just ten women. The odds were stacked against men, leaving many too hesitant to even ask a woman for a dance. Instead, they watched from a distance, waiting for a woman's nod. Only then did they dare to dance with the goddess. That's the origin of cabeceo (see Women's Role in Cabeceo). Prior to dancing with a real woman, a man had to spend years to practice with other guys until he had completely grasped the craft. He had to be extremely careful with the woman also, fearing to lose the favor of the goddess if she felt slightest discomfort. This deep appreciation and respect for women have evolved into a distinctive hallmark of the tango culture in Argentina.

With such a gender ratio, the privilege of dancing with a woman was reserved only for men who could genuinely satisfy her, and those who focused solely on themselves had minimal chances against the milongueros who mastered a comfortable embrace, exquisite musicality, and impeccable skill of dancing for women. Laymen may think of milongueros as goof-offs (see Tango and the Outlook on Life), but if you think those goddesses, surrounded by a company of admiring soldiers, would pick a mediocre as dance partner, you certainly underestimated the goddesses. Even today, women cast their eyes only on the best. They don't want men who are sloppy, who feel insecure, who do not have a comfortable embrace, whose musicality is poor, who lead with arms and hands, who can't do cabeceo, who don't follow the codes, and who are short in manner, not to mention in those days. Therefore, the milongueros are a group of sophisticated tango elites with superb knowledge and skills on the dance, music, codes, culture, lunfardo and the ways of the milonga world. Like the knights in the medieval Europe who were gallant, honorable, generous, kind, and respectful especially to women, and like the samurais in feudal Japan who were loyal, courageous, simple in living, and preferring death to dishonor, the Argentine milongueros are a group of skilled specialists who follow certain tenets also. For them, tango is the religion and milonga codes are not only guild regulations but life principles. One may say that, though without the title, the Argentine milongueros are a comparable class to European knights, Japanese samurais and Chinese literati. Their doctrine is the chivalry, bushido and Confucian orthodoxy of Argentina.

Times have shifted. Today the gender ratio in milongas becomes one man to one point three women. Moreover, the traditional gallantry of milongueros faces criticism from feminists, who encourage women to vie with men for dominance (see Tango and Gender Equality). Consequently, men no longer hold the same level of admiration and respect for women as before. Nowadays, even beginners who can't walk stably dare to obligate women to dance with them, using women as foils for their self-centered displays. One has to reckon that a failure of feminism. Feminists thought that the two sexes would be equal if women were strong and aggressive like men, little did they realize that once women lose their femininity, they are no longer the goddesses in men's eyes.

Men and women of today need to draw lessons from history and contemplate their interactions. Masculinity and femininity, resulted from millions of years of human evolution, serve as nature's solution to harmonize the two genders. To ensure the best interests of the human species, it is essential for women to retain their femininity, and men to preserve their affection for women. Gender roles play a crucial part in securing the well-being of the human species. Deranging the natural law that regulates the opposite sexes can lead to devastating repercussions (see Tango and Gender Issues). I hope that men continue to value women as they did when the ratio was five men to one woman. I wish for women to refrain from relinquishing their femininity and emulating masculine traits. Tango was created to be a bridge uniting the two sexes. I wish it remains that way (see Tango and Gender Interdependence).