Tango is not only a fascinating dance but also a fascinating philosophy, culture and lifestyle. The search of tango is the search of connection, love, fellowship, unity, harmony and beauty, i.e., an idealism that is not consistent with the dehumanizing reality of the modern world. The world divides us into individuals, but tango unites us into a team, community and species. In tango we are not individualists, feminists, nationalists, Democrats, Republicans, etc., but interconnected and interdependent members of the human family. Tango calls us to tear down the walls, to build bridges, and to regain humanity through affinity, altruism, cooperation, and accommodation. It is a dance that teaches the world to love.



July 3, 2014

The Psychology of Tango


One


Attraction between the opposite sexes can fuel such passion and creativity that Freud believed that art is a sublimation of sexuality. While sexuality isn't the only driver of art, this theory seems to explain tango. As long as we do not view sexuality too vulgarly, its link with passion, imagination, romanticism, creativity and artistic expression is understandable. In fact, isn't it true that all human activities stem from the desire to perpetuate and prosper the species, thus lead to love, marriage, children, family, education, economic activities, inequity, pollution, crimes, war, and so on? Sexuality can lead to both good and evil. The vulgar understanding of human sexuality has caused the distortion and rejection of tango in the past. Tango's popularity today reflects the progress of human understanding. (See Artistic Sublimation and Vulgarism in Tango.)


Two


Tango is a dance of immigrants. It is created by immigrants. It expresses the feelings and serves the needs of immigrants. (See Tango: Historical and Cultural Impactst.) Those who love tango are either immigrants or people like immigrants who are homesick, lonely, and yearning for love.

Jeanette Winterson wrote, "I want to go anywhere that is filled with love. I want to be like a migratory salmon, relentlessly searching for the traces of love." Her words reflect the immigrant's aspirations. Love and loneliness are related feelings. Without that understanding one cannot truly appreciate tango.

You do not have to leave your country to be an immigrant. Students going to schools far away from home, college graduates just stepping into society, entrepreneurs struggling alone to start a business, migrant workers looking for jobs in big cities, homeless people, wandering travelers, lonely singles, women who married a wrong man, powerless people bullied by the powerful... aren't they all immigrants? One can say that immigrant is the common status of most people. Ever since we came into the world, we became migrants in search of the love and home in our dreams.

Thus, tango, known as a refuge or home, came into being.


Three


"What is home? Home is not a house or place. It is the attachment, warm feeling and connection that we have in this vest mortal world. In absence of them even a mansion of a thousand rooms is but a cold building. Home is where our hearts belong, filled with affection and love." - Xiaomu

Xiaomu is talking about tango. Tango is not a place, but a home. Without affection and love, tango turns into a cold building.

But affection and love are invisible. What can be seen is the building.

Cancer patient Yu Juan wrote in her death bed, "When facing life and death, you realize that working overtime (long-term staying up late is suicidal), pushing yourself too hard, wanting to buy a new car or new house, these are all vanities. If you have time, spend it with your children. Use the money saved for a new car to buy a pair of shoes for your parents. Don't work overtime in order to move to a bigger house. Being with the loved ones is warm even live in a small apartment."

Yu Juan is also talking about tango. The most important thing in tango is not to impress others but to enjoy affinity and intimacy. Happiness is simple and artless. It belongs to yourself.

But happiness is not seen. People are only impressed by the visible.


Four


Parents tell children, "This cake tastes better than that cake." But children do not believe, they want that which looks more colorful and tempting. After they have tried everything, they are convinced that their parents were right. So they tell their children. But their children do not believe, they still want that which looks more colorful and tempting.

Milongueros tell beginners, "Fancy steps are useless in the milongas." But beginners do not believe, they want to learn fancy steps. After they have studied all they can learn, they realized that the milongueros were right. So they tell their students. But their students do not believe, they still want to learn fancy steps.

Again and again we are deceived by our eyes. How many efforts need to be wasted before we learn that lesson?

"Happiness is actually a lot simpler than what we thought. The problem is, if we do not explore all the possibilities and experience all the miseries, if we do not climb all the mountains and fall all the falls, we would not believe that happiness lies in the shade of those trees at the foot of this hill." - Liu Yu

Perhaps that is how we learn. But those can listen to people who have tried before them may avoid many unnecessary detours. (See Tango Is a Language (I).)


Five


"There are two ways of life: one is to follow the expectations of others; the other is to follow your own heart. The former might get you a lot of applauses, but not your own. No one would applaud for the latter perhaps, but you will surely applaud for yourself." - Zhu Deyong

Tango is many things - feelings, connection, relationship, harmony, love, fellowship, community, refuge, home, etc. The only thing that tango is not is performance. A performance is a dramatized show, like a McDonald's food ad, made only to attract eyeballs. Have you ever actually bought a burger like the one in the ad? Tango is tango only when it is not a performance.

Not that you cannot watch videos. But keep in mind that tango is not an image, but a feeling being danced. (See The Conceptional Beauty of Tango.)


Six


Feelings are gendered. Men and women look for different things in tango. What is programmed in the DNA of the male is strength, which is why men are attracted to women, they need to be comforted by women. What is programmed in the DNA of the female is softness, which is why women are attracted to men, they need the sense of security. Men and women are created for each other. They attract each other, complement each other, and bring out the best in each other. That is the law of nature.

Woman, you need to make him feel comfortable, so that he may see where you are as his home.

Man, you need to lead, support and protect her attentively, so that she can take refuge in your arms and feel safe.

The secret of tango lies not in aesthetics but in psychology, in the attraction between yin and yang, the complementarity of masculinity and femininity, and the interactions of the opposite sexes. (See Tango and Interdependence between the Sexes.)


Seven


"If you want to remember the beauty of a flower, leave before it fades. If you want to enjoy a good wine, stop before you get drunk. If you want to find lasting love, do not date forever." - Li Ao

It makes a lot of sense for tango to be short. It is only three minutes, so the aftertaste is endless.

"Perhaps the most beautiful love is that you love him and he loves you, but the two of you are not together." - Anonymous

The magic of tango exists in the feelings. Nothing strengthens our faith in humanity like being comforted by another human being. That is the power of tango.

A poem titled The Kiss reads, "I ran up the door, opened the staircase, put on the prayer, said the pajama, turned off the bed, got into the light, all are because of the kiss you gave me when you said goodbye." Many women left the milonga after a perfect tanda, just to preserve that surprising feeling. (See Tango Is a Feeling.)

Tango is the dance of love. It is created to feel.

In that feeling, many found a temporary home.