Jeanette Winterson said, "I want to go anywhere that is filled with love. I want to be like a migratory salmon, relentlessly looking for the trace of love." Love and loneliness are really the same feeling. Without that understanding, one cannot truly appreciate tango.
You do not have to leave your country to be an immigrant. Students going to schools far away from home, migrant workers looking for jobs in big cities, college graduates just stepping into the society, entrepreneurs struggling alone to start a business, homeless people, wandering travelers, lonely single adults, women who married a wrong man, powerless people bullied by the powerful. . . aren't they all immigrants? One can say that immigrant is the common status of most people. Ever since we came into the world, we became lonely migrants in search of the love and home in our dreams.
Thus, tango, known as a refuge, or home, came into being.
Xiaomu is talking about tango as well. Tango is not a form, but a feeling. Without affection and love, tango became a cold building.
But affection and love cannot be seen. People can only see the cold building.
Cancer patient Yu Juan wrote in her death bed: "When facing life and death, you realize that working overtime (long-term staying up late is suicidal), pushing yourself too hard, wanting to buy a new car or new house, these are all vanities. If you have time, spend it with your children, use the money saved for the new car to buy a pair of shoes for your parents, don't work overtime in order to move to a bigger house. Being with the loved ones is warm even live in a small apartment."
Yu Juan is also talking about tango. The most important thing in tango is not to impress others, but to enjoy your own feelings. Happiness is simple and artless, it belongs to yourself.
But happiness cannot be seen. People can only see what is impressive externally.
The milongueros tell the beginners, "Fancy steps are useless in the milongas." But the beginners do not believe, they want to learn fancy steps. After they have studied all they can learn, they decide that the milongueros are right. So they tell their students. But their students do not believe, they want to learn fancy steps.
Again and again, how many efforts of the mankind are wasted on pursuing the vanity?
"Happiness is actually a lot simpler than what we thought. The problem is, if we do not explore all the complexities and experience all the miserable, if we do not climb all the mountains and fall all the falls, we would not believe that happiness lies in that small piece of shade under the tree under the foot of that hill." - Liu Yu
Perhaps that is how people learn. But those who can set aside ego may avoid many unnecessary detours.
Tango is feelings, relationship, communication, oneness, harmony, comfort, love, refuge, home, etc. The only thing that tango is not, is performance. A performance is a pigment-added show, just like golden fritters deep-fried with recycled oil, made only for others to see. Have you ever seen anything that is made for others to see real? Tango is tango only when it is not a performance.
Not that you cannot watch videos. But keep in mind that tango is not learned with the eye. It is learned with the heart, for love can only be felt.
Men and women look for different things in tango. What is programmed in the DNA of the male is strength, which is why men are attracted to women. They need to be comforted by women. What is programmed in the DNA of the female is softness, which is why women are attracted to men. They need the sense of security. Masculinity and femininity attract each other, complement each other and bring out the best in each other. This is the law of the universe.
Woman, you should make the home comfortable, so that he may feel where you are is his home.
Man, you should lead and protect her attentively, so that she can rely on you and feel secure.
Happiness is a feeling. The secret of tango lies not in aesthetics, but in psychology.
It makes a lot of sense for tango to be short. It is only three minutes, so the aftertaste is endless.
"Perhaps the most beautiful love is that you love him and he loves you, but the two of you are not together." - Anonymous
Tango does not need to be long, or danced by those who are together. A poem entitled "The Kiss" wrote, "I ran up the door, opened the staircase, put on my prayer, said the pajama, turned off the bed, got into the lamp, all are because the kiss you gave me, when you said goodbye." Many women left the milonga after a perfect tango, just to preserve that surprisingly wonderful feeling.
Tango is the art of feeling. It is created to feel.
In that feeling, many found a temporary home.