Close Embrace and Open Embrace (III)

The experience of dancing close embrace tango is profoundly different from that of dancing open embrace. The enchanting music, the comforting embrace, and the rhythmic movement of two intimately connected bodies create a hypnotic effect—so blissful and immersive that dancers often don’t want to wake up when the tanda ends. (see The Cradle Effect).

In this embrace, the man feels the soft, supple, sensitive responsiveness of the woman’s body. She nestles into him, surrendering herself fully, becoming part of him. As they move together, her body twists in his arms, her muscles relax and engage, her torso gently rolls along his, her breasts rub his chest, and her form adapts fluidly and femininely to his changing posture and movement. All of this generates an exquisite, deeply satisfying sensation. He feels a real, living, breathing woman. The beauty of her body and her femininity excite him. He enjoys dancing with her because only she, as a woman, can awaken within him the feelings that affirm his own masculinity—strong, needed, in control, dependable, and protective—just as only he can stir within her the sensations that she cherishes as a woman. His masculinity, strength, support, care, and protection make her feel safe, loved, and beautiful. In his embrace, she reconnects with her womanhood. Only in that moment can she fully surrender to the joy of being a woman, something real life so often demands she suppress in the name of independence. (see Tango and Gender Interdependence).

Tango is often called a refuge—and that refuge is most deeply felt when danced between opposite sexes. When danced by same-sex partners, something essential feels absent. The mystery, the magic, the polarity of masculine and feminine energies that make tango what it is—disappear. To me, that’s not tango. I know some will disagree. But, that’s me. I like women and enjoy a dance that contains the beauty of both masculinity and femininity.

And that's not all. If close embrace tango is sensual and physical, it is also romantic, poetic, and soulful. No one has expressed this more beautifully than Eugene Grigoryev in his short essay What Is Tango? I share his words here in full, because I could not say it better myself—and no portrayal of close embrace tango is complete without his poetic rendering of its deeper, dreamlike essence:

“Tango is more than just a dance or a sequence of steps. It is an expression of our emotions, an inner reflection of who we are and what we experience, a way to channel what we feel through movement. Tango is a language of expressing what we feel through motion, stirred in us by music, in unison with our partner. It comes into your life in many different ways—as a simple interest, a hobby, or a fascination… and ever so slowly it becomes an addiction.

A simple look, a gesture, a smile, an eye contact, his invitation to lead, her acceptance to follow, all done without any need of verbal communication. As the music compels them, she comes close to him, they embrace… they feel each other breathe, they feel the passionate song unfold, it flows through their bodies, invigorating them, stirring emotions, which they both share… They can be strangers in real life, but as long as they are in this tango moment, they can be anyone they want… You don't have to know the person or even want to know them. Time ceases to exist during this moment. Both dancers are moving to the music, listening for it to tell them what to do… They slow down, pause, accelerate, suspend, all in the moment… almost as being possessed by the music. Outside of this moment is the real world, with its everyday problems, solutions, responsibilities, deadlines… but not here, not now… Now it is only tango, a refuge, a moment of surreal experience of desire, longing… words are not meant to describe it.

The social aspect of milonga is fascinating. It holds anticipation, surprise, heavenly music, moments of contact and separation. The challenge and satisfaction of rhythmically moving in unison with another person is what lures us to Tango. The experience is both physical and surreal. In three minutes of a song, you can experience a rollercoaster of emotions, but you will not experience them alone. For in those three minutes there will be a person embracing you, sharing what they are feeling with you… all without a single word being spoken… pure, raw emotions expressed through motion.”