Close Embrace and Open Embrace (III)

The feeling of dancing close embrace tango is entirely different from that of dancing open embrace tango. The enchanting music, comforting embrace, and rhythmic motion of two intimately connected bodies create a hypnotic effect, drawing the dancers into a dreamlike state—so blissful that they don't want to wake up when the tanda ends (see The Cradle Effect).

In the embrace, the male partner feels his female partner’s soft, supple, flexible, sensitive, and responsive body. She snuggles in his embrace, surrenders herself to him, becoming an integral part of him. As they dance, her body twists in his arms, her muscles relax and tense, her torso trundles on his torso and breasts rub his chest, and her flexible body adapts femininely and harmoniously to his changing posture. All these generate a pleasant sensation. He feels a real, living, breathing woman. The beauty of her body and her femininity excite him. He enjoys dancing with her because only she as a woman can stir the feelings within him that make him a man—strong, needed, in control, dependable, and protective—just as only he can stir within her the feelings that she enjoys as a woman. His masculinity, strength, support, care, and protection make her feel safe, loved, and beautiful. In his embrace she returns to her womanhood again. Only in that moment can she fully enjoy being a woman, as in real life she has to be more independent (see Tango and Gender Interdependence).

Tango, known as a refuge, has to be danced by opposite sexes to have that effect. When tango is danced by same-sex partners, something mysterious and magic is missing—to me that is anti-tango. I know some people will argue with me about this. But, hey, that’s me. I like women and enjoy a dance that contains the beauty of both masculinity and femininity.

But this is not all. If close embrace tango is sensual and physical, it is also romantic, poetic, and soulful. No one has depicted this aspect of close embrace tango better than Eugene Grigoryev in his short essay What Is Tango?. Here I want to quote his essay in its entirety because I myself cannot say any better, and the narrative of close embrace tango would not be complete without this depiction of its romantic, poetic, and dreamy feelings. The following is Eugene’s masterpiece:

“Tango is more than just a dance or a sequence of steps. It is an expression of our emotions, an inner reflection of who we are and what we experience, a way to channel what we feel through movement. Tango is a language of expressing what we feel through motion, stirred in us by music, in unison with our partner. It comes into your lives in many different ways, as simple interest, a hobby, or a fascination… and ever so slowly it becomes an addiction.

A simple look, a gesture, a smile, an eye contact, his askance to lead, her acceptance to be led, all done without any need of verbal communication. As the music compels them, she comes close to him, they embrace… they feel each other breathe, they feel the passionate song unfold, it flows through their bodies, invigorating them, stirring emotions, which they both share… They can be strangers in real life, but as long as they are in this tango moment, they can be anyone they want… You don't have to know the person or even want to know them. Time ceases to exist during this moment. Both dancers are moving to the music, listening for it to tell them what to do… They slow down, pause, accelerate, suspend, all in the moment… almost as being possessed by the music. Outside of this moment is the real world, with its everyday problems, solutions, responsibilities, deadlines… but not here, not now… Now it is only tango, a refuge, a moment of surreal experience of desire, longing… words are not meant to describe it.

The social aspect of milonga is fascinating. It holds anticipation, surprise, heavenly music, moments of contact and separation. The challenge and satisfaction of rhythmically moving in unison with another person is what lures us to Tango. The experience is both physical and surreal. In three minutes of a song, you can experience a rollercoaster of emotions, but you will not experience them alone. For in those three minutes there will be a person embracing you, sharing what they are feeling with you… all without a single word being spoken… pure, raw emotions expressed through motion.”