Tango and Individualism

In life, we all inhabit a range of roles—husband and wife, father and mother, president and vice president, center forward and linebacker, leader and follower. For any team to function well, these roles must be understood, respected, and fulfilled. When boundaries blur or are ignored, partnerships falter—whether in marriage, family, politics, sports, or tango.

But recognizing roles is only the first step. True teamwork requires cohesion. Agreeableness was once celebrated as a virtue because it fostered unity and mutual understanding. Though each of us has personal preferences and perspectives, thriving as a team means prioritizing the common good, practicing empathy, and setting aside ego. A collective flourishes when its members see themselves not as isolated individuals but as integral parts of a greater whole. This calls for a shift from self-centeredness to shared awareness.

When individualism dominates a culture, the collective begins to suffer. In today’s America, self-interest and entitlement often take precedence over communal responsibility, leading to division and stagnation. Political gridlock reflects a deeper cultural shift—one marked by rigid ideologies, inflated egos, and a fading sense of shared purpose.

Liberalism, with its emphasis on personal freedom, has undeniably expanded human potential. But when individuals are seen as wholly independent and self-contained, we lose sight of our essential interdependence. Human rights should include not only individual liberties but also shared values like coexistence, equality, and cooperation. Unchecked individualism, however, elevates personal gain above social harmony, fostering rivalry, exploitation, and cultural fragmentation.

This trend is increasingly evident in our tango, where many dancers see themselves as independent performers rather than partners in a shared experience. Freedom is mistaken for a refusal to surrender; equality is confused with sameness. Traditional gender roles are often dismissed, leaving men hesitant to lead and encouraging women to emulate men. The classic close embrace gives way to open holds, prioritizing self-expression over connection. Inflated egos breed rivalries, and those seeking partners often find aloofness instead of camaraderie.

Yet despite our obsession with independence, we remain human—vulnerable, interdependent, and in need of one another. That’s why we return to tango: to reconnect, to experience intimacy and partnership, to co-create something greater than ourselves. But too often, these deep human needs are undermined by pride, self-absorption, and an unwillingness to compromise.

Tango places us in a relationship that challenges us to reconsider what it means to be human. It asks us to move beyond ego, to collaborate, to dance in harmony by respecting roles and embracing mutuality and agreeableness. These lessons extend far beyond the dance floor. We need political leaders who embody them—leaders who can unify us, bridge divides, rekindle a spirit of solidarity, and restore our ability to work as a team.

Only by embracing the spirit of tango—choosing connection over isolation and cooperation over self-interest—can our milongas and society become better places to dance and live—not only more harmonious, but more deeply human.