Tango and Individualism

In life, we all assume various roles—husband and wife, father and mother, president and vice president, center forward and linebacker, leader and follower. To function effectively as a team, we must respect and fulfill these roles. When boundaries are disregarded, partnerships falter, whether in marriage, family, politics, sports, or tango.

Beyond recognizing our roles, cohesion is essential for teamwork. Agreeableness was once celebrated as a virtue for this reason. While we each have personal preferences and perspectives, prioritizing the common good, practicing empathy, and setting aside ego-driven differences are crucial. A team thrives when its members see themselves as part of a greater whole rather than as isolated individuals. This requires a shift from a self-centered mindset to a collective perspective.

However, when individualism dominates society and everyone places themselves at the center, the collective good suffers. In today’s America, self-interest and personal entitlements often overshadow societal needs, leading to conflict and stagnation. Political deadlock reflects a broader cultural shift—one marked by rigid ideologies, self-absorption, and a diminishing sense of solidarity and shared purpose.

Liberalism, with its emphasis on individual freedom, has historically unleashed human creativity and potential. Yet, when people are viewed as wholly independent and autonomous, we lose sight of our inherent interdependence. Human rights should encompass not only personal liberties but also collective values such as coexistence, equality, and cooperation. However, rampant individualism prioritizes self-interest over social harmony, fostering rivalry, exploitation, and cultural shifts that erode the common good.

This cultural shift is evident in tango. Many dancers now see themselves as independent performers rather than as partners in a shared experience. Freedom is mistaken for a rejection of structure, and equality is seen as incompatible with submission. Traditional gender roles are dismissed, discouraging men from leading and prompting women to dance in the same manner as men. The classic close embrace is often replaced with an open dance hold to prioritize individual expression over connection. Strong egos fuel rivalries, and those seeking partners frequently encounter aloofness rather than camaraderie.

Yet, despite our obsession with individualism, we remain human—vulnerable, interdependent, and in need of connection. This is why we turn to tango: to experience intimacy, partnership, and the joy of creating something greater than ourselves. Unfortunately, these needs are often frustrated by self-absorption, arrogance, and an unwillingness to compromise.

Tango places us in an intimate relationship that challenges us to reconsider what it means to be human. It pushes us beyond self-centered attitudes, urging us to connect, collaborate, and dance in harmony by respecting roles and embracing agreeableness. The lessons of tango extend beyond the dance floor. We need political leaders who understand these truths—leaders who can unite us, bridge divisions, restore a sense of brotherhood, and foster teamwork.

If we embrace the spirit of tango—honoring connection over isolation and cooperation over self-interest—both our milongas and our society will become better places in which to dance and to live.