Tango and Individualism

In life, we all inhabit various roles—husband and wife, father and mother, president and vice president, center forward and linebacker, leader and follower. For any team to function effectively, these roles must be respected and fulfilled. When boundaries are ignored, partnerships falter—whether in marriage, family, politics, sports, or tango.

But recognizing roles is only the beginning. Teamwork also demands cohesion. Agreeableness was once upheld as a virtue because it fostered this sense of unity. While each of us may have personal preferences and perspectives, thriving as a team means prioritizing the common good, practicing empathy, and setting aside ego. A collective flourishes when its members see themselves not as isolated individuals, but as parts of a greater whole. This requires a shift from self-centeredness to collective awareness.

When individualism dominates a society, however, the collective suffers. In today’s America, self-interest and a sense of entitlement often outweigh communal responsibility, leading to conflict and stagnation. Political gridlock reflects a deeper cultural transformation—one marked by rigid ideologies, inflated egos, and a diminishing sense of shared purpose.

Liberalism, with its emphasis on personal freedom, has undeniably unlocked human potential. But when individuals are viewed as wholly independent and self-contained, we lose sight of our essential interdependence. Human rights should include not only individual liberties but also shared values like coexistence, equality, and cooperation. Yet, unchecked individualism elevates personal gain above social harmony, feeding rivalry, exploitation, and cultural fragmentation.

This cultural trend is visible in tango. Increasingly, dancers view themselves as independent performers rather than partners in a shared experience. Freedom is confused with a rejection of surrender; equality is mistaken for sameness. Traditional gender roles are dismissed, leading men to hesitate in leading and encouraging women to dance like men. The classic close embrace often gives way to open holds, prioritizing self-expression over connection. Inflated egos fuel rivalries, and those seeking partners frequently encounter aloofness rather than camaraderie.

And yet, despite our obsession with independence, we remain human—vulnerable, interdependent, and in need of each other. That’s why we return to tango: to experience connection, intimacy, partnership, and the joy of creating something greater than ourselves. But too often, these needs are undermined by self-absorption, pride, and a reluctance to compromise.

Tango places us in an intimate relationship that challenges us to rethink what it means to be human. It urges us beyond our egos, calling us to collaborate, and to dance in harmony by respecting roles and embracing agreeableness. These lessons reach far beyond the dance floor. We need political leaders who embody them—leaders who can unify us, bridge divides, rekindle a sense of brotherhood, and restore our capacity for teamwork.

Only if we embrace the spirit of tango—choosing connection over isolation and cooperation over self-interest—will our milongas and our society become better places in which to dance and to live.