Tango is not only a fascinating dance, but also a fascinating culture, idea, lifestyle, and philosophy. In many ways, tango is a metaphor of life. The pursuit of tango is the pursuit of connection, love, beauty, harmony and humanity, i.e., an idealism that is not consistent with the dehumanizing reality of the modern world. The world divides us as individuals, but tango unites us as a species. In tango we are not individualists, feminists, nationalists, liberals, conservatives, Democrats, Republicans, etc., but interconnected and interdependent members of the human family. We are humanists. Tango calls us to tear down the walls, to build bridges, and to regain humanity through connection, cooperation and compromise. If you believe in this cause, please join the conversation and let your voice be heard, which is urgently needed and long overdue.

Together we can awaken the world.

November 5, 2016

The Lessons of Tango

Having a broad vision, or being trivial, the results are different.

Seeing things from the vantage point of the team, or seeing things from the perspective of the self, the results are different.

Zooming out to see yourself as a part of the whole, or zooming in to see yourself as everything, the results are different.

Focusing on what's in common, or focusing on the difference, the results are different.

Sympathetic, or unsympathetic, the results are different.

Taking the concerns of others into account, or rejecting opposite views, the results are different.

Being agreeable, or being disagreeable, the results are different.

Balanced and moderate, or rabid and extremist, the results are different.

Being willing to meet in the middle, or insisting on having one's own way, the results are different.

Building bridges, or building walls, the results are different.

Cooperative, or competitive, the results are different.

Team spirit, or individuality, the results are different.

Working for the common cause, or working for self-interests or group interests, the results are different.

Striving to achieve harmony, or striving to win competition, the results are different.

The former are magnanimous and patriotic, the latter are self-centric.

The former, which are germane to tango, lead to a better society.

The latter, pertinent to individualism, lead to dissension, disunity and failure as a nation.

October 28, 2016

Meeting in the Middle

For many, life is good. For many others, it is not. We live in our own realities. But the fact is, as Guy de Maupassant wrote in his 1883 novel A Woman's Life, "Life is never as good or as bad as one thinks."

"I think, therefore I am." (Discourse on the Method by Rene Descartes.) In order to think there must be a thinking entity, the self. Human cognition is biased by personal experiences, thus tends to be partial and rabid. Truth often lies in between two opposite views. For this reason, Confucius argues that the gentlemen's approach to life is to take a mean course, or to meet in the middle. (See How You Dance Matters.)

Meeting in the middle is not only a method of thinking or approach to life. It is also a civilized way to resolve a conflict. Opposite parties insisting on having their own ways can be stalled, unable to reach an agreement. But if they are willing to meet in the middle, they become less divided and more united. A compromised deal may not be as good as either party would like, but it is a common ground for them to move forward. In fact, that is how nature works. The black tulip does not come from the original parent plants overnight, but through a series of small improvements or compromises over generations, as Alexandre Dumas wrote in his 1850 novel The Black Tulip. Politicians often fight for a one-time deal. In actuality progress is a process. You move an inch through a compromise, then move another inch through another compromise. You probably will not get all you want. But everyone will be better off if they all agree to move forward by meeting in the middle.

The result is something better, the black tulip. Aristotle said, "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts." When individual parts are united, it creates a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual effects. You can easily break individual sticks, but you cannot break them if they are tied together. Logically, the whole is the sufficient condition of its part, but the reverse is not true. In other words, what is good for the society benefits all, but what is good for an individual does not necessarily benefit the society. Individualism is erroneous as a methodology. It is also antidemocratic as an ideology, because it acts in accordance with the law of the jungle. (See Tango and Individualism.) Those who insist on having their own way and refuse to take the concerns of others into account are tyrants. A democracy formed by such individuals does not work, as proven by the increasing uninhibitedness, uncooperativeness, hostility, polarization, inequality, aggression and lawlessness in American society.

If we still hold that "all men are created equal" to be a self-evident truth, if we still believe that a united, cooperative and harmonious society is to the best interests of all its citizens, if we still need each other, and if we do not want to be disregarded by others, then we must take others into account and not insist on having our own way. A democracy is government by people, not strong individuals. It is based on the cooperation of the people, not on antagonism and sabotage. It aims at the balance, harmony and well-being of all, not the self-interests of a few. It follows the Golden Rule, not law of the jungle. It requires us to resolve conflicts through compromise, not gun and force. A democracy must educate its people on its principles. If we believe these to be true, then meeting in the middle is the sensible, practical and civil attitude we must have in our approach to each other, the approach of tango. I must add, right now we are not doing well in our politics, and in our dance. 

October 9, 2016

Tango and Individualism

We all assume certain roles in life. Husband and wife, father and mother, president and vice president, center forward and linebacker, leader and follower, etc., are all different roles. (See The Gender Roles in Tango.) One must act in compliance with one's role in order to live and work together with others as a team. Acting in excess of one's role is often the cause of a failed partnership, whether in marriage, family, politics, sports, or tango.

Not only so, we also need to be agreeable with each other in order to function as a team. If we are disagreeable with each other, we are unable to work in unison for the same cause. For this reason, agreeableness was once regarded as a virtue. People may have personal interests and opinions, but as members of a team they must think from the vantage point of the group, be sympathetic, overcome their own ego, seek common ground, and be willing to compromise, regarding them as a part of the whole that is bigger and more important than themselves.

But, when individualism becomes the dominant philosophy in a society where everyone thinks of himself or herself as the most important, that is no longer the case. In today's America, for example, individual rights and personal interests take precedence over the interests of the society as a whole. As a result, people disagree and bicker with each other on everything. The gridlock in our politics is but a reflection of the small-mindedness, selfishness, rabidity and obstinacy that characterize a nation lacking broad visions, magnanimity, brotherhood and common cause. 

The disregard for human rights is a regrettable fact in human history. Liberalism, which places human liberty at the center of its cause, has played a positive role in human liberation. However, the view of men and woman as free and independent individuals is an unbalanced one. Human beings are not only free and independent individuals, but also interconnected and interdependent social beings. Our life, liberty and happiness depend on collective efforts and a stable and harmonious society. Therefore, human rights must not be conceived only as the rights of the individual, but that of the mankind or society as a whole also, among these rights are coexistence, equality, sharing, cooperation, and fraternity. (See The Freedom in Tango.)

In the US, however, the collective rights and liberty of the mankind or society are often being ignored while individual rights and personal freedom are overemphasized and often pushed to the extreme by the right and the left alike. Business aggression and expansionism, the exploitation of other human beings, the destruction of the environment, squandering, monopolization, the concentration of wealth in the hands of a few, the influence of big money on politics, the promotion of obscenity and violence in the name of free speech, gun culture, sex freedom, same-sex marriage, etc., are typical examples. Too many people think only about themselves and disregard the overall interests of the society and humanity as a whole. (See Tango and the Relationship of the Opposite Sexes.)

Our tango reflects the same kind of thinking. Many dancers do not see themselves as a part of the team or community, but as independent individuals. (See 惜缘.) Freedom is being interpreted as against any compliance. Equality is being interpreted as against any submission. (See Tango and Gender Equality.) Gender roles are repudiated. Men do not lead, but only give suggestions. (See How Tango Is Led.) Women remain independent, may disobey men, interrupt the lead, or reverse roles. The embrace is being replaced with an open hold to avoid physical contact and emotional involvement. Personal performance supersedes intimate cooperation. The relationship of the partners becomes a cold working relationship, so does the atmosphere of the milonga. Everybody demonstrates a strong ego. Those who try to dance with others are often being humiliated by the rude response of the invitees. (See How to Get More Invitations in the Milonga.) There is a lack of friendliness, brotherhood, intimacy and cooperation in our milongas. 

But, we still are human beings. Our individualistic illusion does not blot out our loneliness, longing, interdependence and need for each other. That is why we come to tango in the first place - to be in close contact with others, to form an intimate relationship, to satisfy our hunger for connection, affection and affinity. Unfortunately, these needs are often stymied by our independence, arrogance and disagreeableness.

Tango puts us in such an intimate relationship with one another that we are forced to rethink what it means to be men and women, to change our self-centered behaviors, to be better connected and cooperative partners, and to dance in unison and harmony through abiding by the roles and being agreeable with each other. The lessons we learn from tango are valuable and applicable to other areas of life as well. We need leaders who understand the truth revealed in tango, to unite people, set aside the difference, find common ground, restore brotherhood, focus on the common cause instead of the differences, and work as a team. Our milonga will be a batter place in which to dance, and our society will be a better place in which to live, I believe, if we embrace the spirit of tango and reject individualism.

June 18, 2016


In the beginning there is no money. People barter. I fish, you farm, and she weaves fabric. I use my fish to trade your vegetables and her cloth. As this becomes a common practice, the issue of equivalent trade emerges and the exchange rates of all kinds of products have been established. For example, one foot of cloth equals two pounds of fish or three pounds of vegetable - according to the amounts of labor involved in producing these products. But such direct barter is inconvenient. You may want my fish, but I don't want your vegetables but her cloth, and she doesn't want my fish but your vegetables. What shall we do? Thus, money, as a universal equivalent, comes into being. With money, trade becomes easier.

Initially, money is things that people all desire, such as salt, silk and gold. People first convert their own products into such goods, and then use these goods to exchange for other products. A pound of fish is worth five ounces of salt, because the labor involved in producing a pound of fish is equivalent to the labor involved in producing five ounces of salt. But people soon realize that this way of exchange is cumbersome. Since the function of money is to measure or represent the amount of labor involved in producing a product, a piece of paper can do the same job and be easier to use. Thus, money changes form from a material good to a bill. People then discovered that even the bill is not necessary. Since the value is expressed in numbers, the exchange can be done numerically without a piece of paper. Thus, money changes form again from the bill to the digital figure on a bank card. This digital figure now becomes the life ambition of the modern people. In political terminology, this is called "the pursuit of happiness."

In the beginning there is no accumulation of wealth, because fish and vegetables cannot be stored in large number, they will rot. Trade is only for daily consumption. But with money, that is no longer the case. Money can be accumulated infinitely and passed on to future generations. It can also be used to loan, invest and speculate in order to generate returns. With money I can buy vegetables from you and sell to her, and buy textiles from her and sell to you for a profit. It is soon discovered that I don't even need to possess the commodities to trade. One can do short sales and still make money. Thus trade is no longer for consumption. It becomes the mere means of accumulating wealth.

Making money through trade is a tricky business. Strictly speaking there is no fair trade, or no profit can be made. One can only gain from someone else's loss. For example, an employer makes money by taking advantage of the employees. Wall Street takes advantage of the regulators' ignorance on the dubious formulas they created to make money at the expenses of the ordinary investors and loanees. The insurance company takes advantage of people's sense of security, since more people are healthy than sick and alive than dead, the insurance company can make money by selling an empty promise. Jealous of the insurance company, the drug company increases the price of their product 5000%. You either buy or die, and it is paid by the insurance anyway. Hospitals make their money in the same way. I went to a hospital for a skin condition. They first sent me to a family doctor, who sent me to the lab to have the test down, and then sent me to a specialist. The specialist knew immediately it was eczema without seeing the test. The prescribed cream cost me $15 and the eczema was cured. But the hospital bill is $800, which is paid for by the insurance. The insurance company shifts the cost to the consumers by raising the premium and reducing the coverage. Health insurance once covered everything, now you have to buy separate insurances for teeth, eyes, ears and drugs. House insurance once covered everything, now you have to buy separate insurances for fire, flood, tornado and earthquake.

Such practices undermined the fundamental principle in trade - equality and fairness. The essence of trade is the exchange of labor. A fair exchange reflects the equivalent amounts of labor involved in producing the products. Since the exchange rates of all products are proportional, the increase in price of one product will trigger a chain reaction of inflation. As a result, houses, cars, food, groceries, clothes, utilities, services, all become more expensive, and the government has to raise taxes just to keep even if nothing else. The victims are the ordinary people. In today's America, 63% of people are unable to pay a $500 surprise bill, but a small number of people benefiting from the unfair practice and the system that they have created have accumulated tremendous wealth that reached astronomical figures.

Greed knows no limit and most crimes of our times, caught or not caught, are motivated by money. In a mammonish society, trade, science, education and medicine all become the means of making money, and money respects no morality. The winners are those who have found ingenious ways to abuse others, and the losers are the ripped-offs. As a result, people lost faith in goodness, honesty, fairness, and trust. A man once could feed the whole family, not anymore because the price becomes so outrageous that women also have to work in order to maintain the middle class standard of living. Feminists may label it "women's rights" and "equal opportunities." In fact, it is the enslavement of women. A woman lamented, "More and more women work extremely hard to make money now. The society provides women with less and less security. Security used to mean a commitment, a clasped hand when crossing the street, now it is the money in our pocket and a fully charged cell phone... We all want to marry a man, only to find ourselves turned into a man!"

When a society allows people to accumulate unlimited wealth, measures success by one's money, uses the rich as the role models for the whole society to follow, provides them with legal loopholes and preferential treatments, and allows them to influence the policy making with their money, it is bound that people will want to get rich and use any possible means to make money, that the society will be subject to increasing polarization, that the morality will deteriorate, that the humanity will be corrupted, that the crime will increase, that the natural resources will be depleted, and that the environment will be destroyed. Mammonism is the cancer of the modern world, which dehumanizes people and turns them into the slaves of money. When mankind invented money, nobody thought it would lead to the alienation of the humanity. How to awaken mankind from this insanity is one of the most intractable problems facing modern philosophy, economics, sociology and political science.

May 24, 2016

Tolerance and Grit

In my spare time I enjoy fishing. Gu Feng depicts his fishing experience in a poem, "In the mist that shrouds the valley, by the stream that reflects the lush green bamboos and shiny red flowers, stood I in soft breeze, fishing in quietness. At dusk, I listened to the rain dripping on the pavilion. At dawn, I held an umbrella, in blue robe, walked in solitude along the stony path." 

Beautiful! But I am not Gu Feng. The fun of fishing to me is in the bite, without which the relaxing scenery is not enough to make me content. The disposition of the fish is elusive. In some days I don't catch any. In most days two or three fish an hour is normal. But sometimes the fish suddenly scramble to snatch. You toss the lure, and they jump up to bite. One after another you can catch dozens in an hour. This miracle happens only two or three times a year. My fancy for fishing, in addition to the soothingness of the nature, comes mainly from the temptation of such miracles. The addiction, therefore, is in the hope. In reality miracles are rare.

This situation is very much like dancing tango. The elegant venue, soft lighting, resplendent dresses, beautiful music, all are nice, but not enough to make me happy without a good partner. One night, fortunately, you met a person, whose height, figure, musicality, dance skill, manner and temperament are all compatible to yours. Like a perfect match made in heaven, the two of you become instant pals, giving rein to the dance that enables you not only to enjoy the seamless cooperation, but also the freedom like in an unrestrained solo. This experience changed your outlook on life, because you now experienced the feeling of being one with another person in perfection. From then on, you go to the milonga again and again, week after week, hoping to re-experience that miracle. But miracles come only by luck and not will. In my fourteen years of dancing tango in countless milongas, that experience only occurred few times. Which, nonetheless, is still the reason I am addicted to tango, because I yearn to revisit that dream one more time. Tango is the search of a dream. In reality, however, miracles are rare. 

People often forget that ordinariness is the norm of life; therefore, we need to accept, enjoy and cherish the ordinary, which is something many are not very good at. Voltaire said: "What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of fragility and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly - that is the first law of nature." Of course, appreciating the ordinary is not enough. We all yearn to transcend the ordinary and achieve the extraordinary. Excellence is the consequence of grit. Only by repeating the ordinary countless times can one obtain the extraordinary. Therefore, let us also encourage ourselves and be gritty - the miracle will happen as a result, that is the second law of nature.

March 29, 2016

A Wise Voice

Anna:  Hi, Paul, I totally agree with you on "Good human values are based on what is beneficial to the humanity rather than an individual person or gender." It is so beautifully said and so wise. Freedom and human rights movements led people to put a lot of emphasis on individuality and as a result, the inflated self image lessens our ability to view the world as a connected whole. This inflated self image is also probably the root cause to many modern psychological ailments and problems: loneliness, depression, and mental disorder. If we can zoom out and see ourselves as a tiny one, rather than the one, in this big universe, a fact that has not changed a bit since the big bang, we may again find the beauty in the ancient natural law and adopt the right perspective towards the self and the rest of the world.

I had a few Tango lessons by now and was deeply touched by this beautiful dance. I am a woman with strong characters in other people's eyes. When I first started, I experienced a lot of struggle, questioning, and doubt. As you have explained in your excellent blog, unless we adopt the appropriate values and mentality for this dance, we cannot dance the real Tango. As a matter of fact, unless the man and the woman take the right role, they cannot even get the dance going. They will be constantly on each other's toes. No agreement, no harmony, no beauty. Then one day luckily I met a partner who did all the things you mentioned that a good leader should do, he guided me, protected me and let me shine. And without me knowing I surrendered all my wariness and entrusted myself to him. The steps followed naturally. At that moment, I knew how Tango should be done and how beautiful it can be when it is done right, when a man is a man and a woman is a woman. Looking forward to more of your sharing.

Paul: Dear Anna, I appreciate deeply what you said because it summed up so well an important theme throughout this blog - and you did it with such simple elegance. When I first started this blog, I thought it was just about tango. But I soon discovered that in fact I was in search of the missing humanity in ourselves, without which tango loses its soul. Tango awakens our humanity because it forces us to zoom out and see ourselves as a tiny one and connected whole, to understand our vulnerability, weakness and interdependence, as reflected in "the ancient natural law," and to appreciate the beauty of Creation from a macro or cosmological perspective, as you eloquently put it. The individual is trivial. The strength of mankind comes out of our connection and cooperation. This truth, as attested by tango, must not be forgotten no matter how much we have achieved. Please write and let your voice be heard! My best wish to your tango! (See Femininity and Feminism in Tango (II).)

March 24, 2016


A reader commented on my last post, The Spirit of Tango, "A ten minute tanda is a radical response to the dehumanizing reality of modern day-to-day living. It is an opportunity for two humans to embrace each other in the promotion of humanity. Don’t let the precious opportunity slip away because your partner isn’t a good enough dancer, tall enough, young enough, old enough, attractive enough, friendly enough… whatever enough. Every embrace has a story - dance with it." I pondered on the comment, because it reminded me of a Chinese motto "惜缘" (pronounce shee-yuan).

惜缘 means cherishing the luck by which people are brought together. It's an unfamiliar philosophy in America where human connections are not as appreciated as in some other cultures like China and Argentina. Many Americans value individualism, independence and personal freedom. They live alone, act alone, work alone, die alone, are fierce fighters for gun right, but quite ignorant in communal life and relationships, and they often let the opportunity of affinity with people slip away.

But life is not a solo-dance even for Robinson Crusoe. If you think about it, your life and success are defined by people associated with you: parents who raise you, teachers who educate you, mentors who guide you, friends who stand by you, colleagues who work with you, and assistants who help you, etc. Fortune only brings a limited number of people into each person's life. These are the precious resources granted to us by fate. Those who cherish such resources can build great companies and achieve lofty goals. Those who don't, their life tends to be lonely, friendless, and unfruitful.

What is true in life is true in tango also. In each city there are only limited people who dance tango. These people, despite their differences, share something in common: their hunger for connecting with other people, their belief in love and fraternity, their nostalgia, romanticism, sentimentalism and life attitude... Those who cherish each other form a great tango community. Those who tear down the bridge and build walls, their community suffers. Unfortunately, that is often the reality in our tango. Many of us do not appreciate enough the lot that brings us together. They are haughty and prejudicial. They see others as rivals and are indifferent and cold towards others. They turn a blind eye to those who want to dance with them, thinking they are not worthy - attractive enough, young enough, slender enough, tall enough, white enough, skillful enough, etc. They remain detached and uninvolved in the dance, focusing on themselves rather than the partner, and they form cliques and squeeze out competitions, etc.

Individualism is incompatible with tango. I hope we will learn from the philosophy of 惜缘 and cherish what brings us together as a community, because that is what makes tango fascinating. Tango is not only a skill. It is a fellowship or community, an appreciation of other human beings, and a philosophy of regaining humanity through connection and cooperation (see Exhibition versus Fellowship). Instead of trying to change tango, I think we should let tango change us and turn us into a better connected and cooperative people.