Tango and Gender Equality

Some believe that traditional tango, danced in close embrace, is politically incorrect, while the open-embrace style popular in Europe and North America is a distilled, sanitized version adapted to modern sensibilities. A book I recently read expressed this opinion:

“In Europe, the idea seems to be that harmony in dance is arrived at by mutual consent and that men and women are equal partners. I get the distinct impression, however, that even today, in Buenos Aires, the idea is that the man is in complete control; every action has its lead and the progress of the dance is a series of well-established consequences… A recent article from a tango website in Argentina touched on the relationship between the man and the woman. It used the phrase ‘The woman’s attitude of surrender’… I am not at all sure this notion would find much acceptability with the women I dance with. I can see how it might be interesting to look at the undoubtedly macho flavor in the history of tango and perhaps derive some ideas from it for our dance-play today. I am less happy to accept this idea as the essential feeling of tango in the modern world. I am more attracted to the idea that tango evolved out of a lucky fusion of multiple cultures, mostly European in origin. It seems that it received a transfusion of refinement in Paris in the 1920s, and it looks to me as if it is benefiting today from another shot in the arm all over Europe. Tango is growing apace here and is being distilled to meet the requirements of today’s relationships. I believe it may be losing its narrow, even parochial feel and is becoming truly international in the hands of a new and more cohesive European people. We are not frustrated, homesick, stressed Europeans seeking love miles from home with too few women to share. We are a new breed in a new world. Though the passions we bring as individuals to the dance will be the same basic feelings all men and women have shared since the beginning of time, the intensity must be different, and the balance between the sexes has altered most of all. It may also be the case that our societies in Europe are evolving at a different pace from that of Latin America, though not, I suspect, in a different direction. In Europe today, women have immense power, status, and influence, and they express their needs very clearly. The modern European woman is unlikely to respond too positively to macho posturing… It seems women like their men to be positive, but they also want finesse and thoughtfulness. Women hate to be bullied. They prefer to be invited and to feel that they are in full control to accept, or decline, as they feel. Accepting an invitation is not ‘surrender'... When you think about tango being danced way back at the beginning of the 20th century by earthy men in bordellos, hungry for a woman’s touch, closeness between a man and a woman was the business they were in. It was in the ‘sanitizing’ of tango for the more genteel public and the wider world audience that the open embrace evolved.”

The author's superiority regarding things he apparently has little understanding of is absurd. Traditional tango is not bullying, nor is open-embrace tango all that genteel. To suggest that people who dance in close embrace are somehow “dirty” and less civilized than those who dance in open embrace is both preposterous and hypocritical (see Artistic Sublimation and Vulgarism in Tango).

What concerns me most, however, is his perception of "gender equality," which reveals a canting bias against the traditional gender roles in tango and the attempt by some people in Europe and North America to turn tango into a gender-neutral dance.

While we support those who struggle with gender identity, it's equally important to acknowledge that most people are comfortable with their gender—and they find joy, strength, and authenticity in expressing it. Most men that I know are proud of their manhood and masculinity, and they behave, function, and dance as men. Most women that I know embrace their womanhood and femininity, and they behave, function, and dance as women. Men and women are different; they need, complement, complete each other, and are attracted to each other because of that (see Tango and Gender Interdependence).

Women bear and nurture life; men support, protect, and provide. They play different roles in life and tango, which nobody, certainly not modern people, should feel ashamed of. True modern people do not believe that women must act and dance like men in order to be equal—they can be women and still equal with men. True modern people recognize that femininity and masculinity both have intrinsic worth. They see relationships not as power struggles but as partnerships based on love and mutual respect. They do not view decent intimacy between men and women as filthy, and they are not chauvinistic, especially toward a people whose art they are deeply indebted to and whose culture they may not yet fully comprehend.

As I wrote in another post: “The idea of tango is to welcome another person into your personal space—to accept them, be considerate, cooperative, yielding, and accommodating; to surrender and become one; to listen deeply to their unspoken emotions; to share intimacy; and to bring them love, joy, and contentment. This is a stark contrast to the values dominant in our modern culture: individualism, independence, self-interest, and aggression” (see Tango—The Art of Love).

Contrary to the author's assumption, surrender in tango is mutual. It is in surrender that we stop competing and begin adapting. Tango resonates in the modern world because it offers something our contemporary culture often lacks: connection, intimacy, and the transcendence of ego. It allows us to be one with each other in an intimate relationship devoid of the bias of the last century. Tango is the opposite of hypocrisy. It transforms us into better, healthier, more authentic, natural, connected, cooperative, accommodating, and cohesive people.

Those who prefer political correctness to decent humanity, individualism to partnership, gender neutralization to gender expression, alienation to intimacy, egoism to humility, and power struggle to love live in the shadow of the past. They are evolving at a different pace from that of Latin America, and not in the same direction as the author thought. They certainly do not represent the future of tango.