Women's Common Mistakes in Tango

1. Refusing to Surrender
For two partners to dance as one cohesive body, only one can lead while the other must follow; otherwise, their movements will conflict. The woman must overcome her ego, surrender to the man, and follow his lead. Novice women often resist surrendering, much like a young bride still so accustomed to her single status that she needs some adjustment before becoming a qualified wife. It often feels more comfortable dancing with a married woman than an unmarried girl, because the latter is still too self-centric. Learning tango involves more than mastering steps—it also requires learning to surrender and be one with the partner. A woman who prioritizes herself and refuses to yield cannot dance tango well.

2. Leaning Backward
She who resists surrender often maintains distance by leaning backward rather than leaning forward into the man. This causes two issues: first, it transforms the dance frame from an A-shaped to an H-shaped form, diluting the intimacy, connection, and emotional depth of the dance. Second, without torso contact, communication relies solely on the arms and hands, making it more laborious and less comfortable than direct torso communication. This often results in strain, miscommunication, coercion, and uncoordinated movements.

3. Interfering with the Lead
In the US, many women exhibit a strong sense of independence, influenced by feminism. They refuse to surrender, assert themselves, insert their own steps, and interfere with the lead. Such tendencies clash with Argentine tango, which emphasizes oneness, cooperation, and harmony rather than individual performance. In tango, the woman's steps are not self-initiated but are brought out by the man. While the woman may beautify the dance, her embellishments must align with and complement the lead rather than conflict with it. She should not initiate steps or do her own thing.

4. Anticipation
After a step, a novice woman often takes the next action automatically at her own anticipation. For example, she hastily chases the beat, or positions her body in the way that would hinder his next lead, or makes the second, third and fourth ocho on her own until he has to stop her. Although an experienced man may adapt, her initiative interferes with his lead. If the man is unskilled, then there could be frequent conflicts. The woman should not speculate and must develop the habit of waiting and dancing step by step according to the lead rather than her own anticipation.

5. Using Arms and Hands
Novice women often rely on their arms and hands to execute steps. This not only causes discomfort for themselves but also creates unnecessary physical exertion for the man. In my experience, this is the most common and challenging issue among beginners. Women must develop the ability to execute steps independently of their arms and hands. Once they learn to follow using their torso instead, their dance experience will improve significantly. (See The Functions of Various Body Parts in Tango.)

6. Spaghetti body
The woman should move the core or center of her body so that her entire body moves as one coherent piece. She should not only move the part of her body that receives the lead. For instance, when she feels the push on her chest that tells her to move back, she should move her whole body back and not just bend her torso back. When she is led to move to the side, she should move her whole body to the side and not just bend her torso to the side. She should dance with a straight and resilient body, not a curved spaghetti body.

7. Heavy
Heaviness may be related to body weight, but more often it results from technical errors. A novice woman tends to rely on her arms and hands to assist with movements, which makes it difficult for the man to lead, causing discomfort, fatigue, and a loss of interest on his part. For a man to enjoy dancing with a woman, she needs to make herself light and easy to lead. She must surrender, relax her body, maintain her own balance, and dance in complete harmony with him. She should avoid placing too much weight on her partner, holding him tightly with her hands to execute the movements, or resisting or wrestling against him. Women with a good sense of equilibrium and a light touch in dancing are highly sought after by men. (See Issues on Balance and Lightness in Dance.)

8. Insuffficient connection
At the same time, she shouldn't be so featherweight that he cannot feel her. Tango is danced through feeling. In close embrace, the man cannot see her movements; he must rely on feeling to know where her axis is, whether she has switched feet, completed a hip rotation, or finished an embellishment. This allows him to decide how to lead the next step. If the two dancers cannot feel each other, it is easy for him to take a conflicting lead or for her to follow incorrectly, such as failing to do the cruzada, failing to change weight when necessary, or adding a step when she shouldn't. Women experiencing such challenges need to improve their embrace and connection, enabling the man to feel their movements and allowing themselves to respond better to his lead (see Why Women Fail to Do Cruzada).

9. Not returning to home position promptly
Because her torso is connected to his torso in the embrace, the woman needs to dissociate at her hips to dance around him (see Dissociation and Gear Effect). Once the step is completed, she must swivel her hips back and collect her free leg—that is, return to the home position, the symmetrical alignment with him—to prepare for the next step. Failure to do so, due to pre-judgment or anticipation, can delay the next move or even make it impossible. This is a common mistake many women frequently make. Developing the habit of returning to the home position promptly after each step is crucial for women.

10. Unrefined musicality
Tango steps can be divided into two categories: featured steps, such as the forward step in ocho and the rock step in ocho cortado, and ancillary actions, such as unwinding, hip rotation, pivoting, weight changes, leg collection, and adornments. A novice dancer often focuses on the featured steps while neglecting the ancillary actions. While she may step on the beat, her hip rotation, cross, weight changes, and embellishments are often executed off-beat. It is essential for a dancer to understand that dancing to music means all movements, including ancillary ones, must align with the rhythm, tempo, and mood of the music. Cultivating refined musicality is a long-term endeavor, but it is the most fundamental and important skill a dancer must develop.

11. Lack of agility
Tango music consists of four beats per measure. The first and third beats are the downbeats, while the second and fourth beats are the upbeats. Typically, dancers act on the downbeats—the main step occurs on the first beat, and the ancillary action on the third beat, in a pace of doing two actions per measure. However, it is often necessary to act in succession, such as taking a forward step followed immediately by a pivot, stepping back and then immediately crossing one leg in front of the other, or taking a step and immediately shifting weight to the other foot. In these cases, the main action falls on the downbeat and the ancillary action on the upbeat, resulting in a speed of doing four actions per measure. In some scenarios, the main action and the ancillary action may even need to be completed within a single beat—for example, one leg taking a step while the other performs an embellishment—resulting in a pace of doing eight actions per measure. The ability to act swiftly is especially important at advanced levels, where fast footwork is required. Skilled dancers are prepared for continuous actions, moving fluidly and swiftly, always ready for the next step. This allows them to dance with ease and incorporate embellishments effortlessly. Beginners, on the other hand, often hesitate to act. Their movements can be heavy, limiting them to stepping only on the downbeats. They struggle to execute actions on successive beats, let alone perform two actions within a single beat.

12. Passivity
Following is an active endeavor that demands focus, sensitivity, agility, and creativity. Novice women who are not yet proficient in the steps often follow hesitantly and reluctantly. Some adopt a perfunctory attitude, others lack emotional connection, and still others suppress their creativity, becoming mere shadows of their partners. With such passivity, it is impossible to dance tango well. A good follower is actively engaged, fully committed, and giving her all. She brings forth her emotions, skills, creativity, and personality in full display while maintaining complete harmony with the man. (See Activity and Passivity in Tango.)

13. Gender neutrality
Some women bring their political correctness into tango. They deny gender differences, refuse to surrender, disobey the lead, prioritize individual performance, reverse gender roles, and promote same-sex partnerships, among other things. If that is the kind of tango you seek, then good luck. However, if Argentine tango is your goal, you must learn to be a competent follower. In Argentine tango, the woman assumes the feminine role: she surrenders to the man, follows his lead, enhances the dance with her graceful movements, and pleases him with her femininity. The relationship between the two sexes is meaningful only when they embrace their roles as man and woman. Without femininity, tango would lose not only its charm and beauty but also the essence of its existence.