Jeanette Winterson said, "I want to go anywhere that is filled with love. I want to be like a migratory salmon, relentlessly searching for the traces of love." Love and loneliness are really the same feeling. Without that understanding, one cannot truly appreciate tango.
You do not have to leave your country to be an immigrant. Students going to schools far away from home, college graduates just stepping into the society, entrepreneurs struggling alone to start a business, migrant workers looking for jobs in big cities, homeless people, wandering travelers, lonely singles, women who married a wrong man, powerless people bullied by the powerful... aren't they all immigrants? One can say that immigrant is the common status of most people. Ever since we came into the world, we became immigrants in search of the love and home in our dreams.
Thus, tango, known as a refuge, or home, came into being.
Xiaomu is talking about tango. Tango is not an image, but a feeling. Without affection and love, tango became a cold building.
But affection and love cannot be seen. People can only see the cold building.
Cancer patient Yu Juan wrote in her death bed, "When facing life and death, you realize that working overtime (long-term staying up late is suicidal), pushing yourself too hard, wanting to buy a new car or new house, these are all vanities. If you have time, spend it with your children. Use the money saved for the new car to buy a pair of shoes for your parents. Don't work overtime in order to move to a bigger house. Being with the loved ones is warm even live in a small apartment."
Yu Juan is also talking about tango. The most important thing in tango is not to impress others, but to enjoy the relationship and intimacy. Happiness is simple and artless. It belongs to yourself.
But happiness is internal and unseen. People can only see what looks impressive outside.
Milongueros tell beginners, "Fancy steps are useless in the milongas." But beginners do not believe, they want to learn fancy steps. After they have studied all they can learn, they decided that the milongueros are right. So they tell their students. But their students do not believe, they still want to learn fancy steps.
Again and again, we are deceived by our eyes.
How many efforts of the mankind are wasted on pursuing the vanity?
"Happiness is actually a lot simpler than what we thought. The problem is, if we do not explore all the possibilities and experience all the miseries, if we do not climb all the mountains and fall all the falls, we would not believe that happiness lies in that small piece of shade under that tree at the foot of that hill." - Liu Yu
Perhaps that is how we learn. But those who can set aside the ego and listen to others who have tried before them may avoid many unnecessary mistakes.
Tango is lots of things: feelings, relationship, harmony, comfort, love, fellowship, community, refuge, home, etc. The only thing that tango is not is performance. A performance is a pigment-added show, just like McDonald's advertisements, made only to attract the eyes. Have you ever seen anything that is made just to attract the eyes real? Tango is tango only when it is not a performance.
Not that you cannot watch videos. But keep in mind that tango is a feeling. Tango must be danced with the heart, for it's the dance of love, and love must be felt.
Men and women look for different things in tango. What is programmed in the DNA of the male is strength, which is why men are attracted to women, they need to be comforted by women. What is programmed in the DNA of the female is softness, which is why women are attracted to men, they need the sense of security. Masculinity and femininity attract each other, complement each other and bring out the best in each other. That is the law of nature. (See The Gender Roles in Tango.)
Woman, you should make him feel comfortable so that he may see where you are is his home.
Man, you should lead, support and protect her attentively so that she may rely on you and feel safe.
Happiness is a feeling. The secret of tango lies not in aesthetics, but in psychology.
It makes a lot of sense for tango to be short. It is only three minutes, so the aftertaste is endless.
"Perhaps the most beautiful love is that you love him and he loves you, but the two of you are not together." - Anonymous
Indeed, tango is more tasty when danced in the arms of a stranger and being pampered by an unexpected admirer. A poem entitled The Kiss wrote, "I ran up the door, opened the staircase, put on my prayer, said the pajama, turned off the bed, got into the light, all are because of the kiss you gave me, when you said goodbye." Many women left the milonga after a perfect tango, just to preserve that mysteriously and surprisingly wonderful feeling.
Tango is the art of feeling, it is created to feel.
In that feeling, many found a temporary home.