A Dance that Teaches People to Love

The word love encompasses a vast range of emotions. To love tango is to be enraptured by the dance, drawn into its embrace with an almost addictive fervor. To love a country is to experience a profound connection and devotion to its land and people. To love a child is to cherish, nurture, and protect them. To love a friend is to feel a deep sense of closeness and appreciation. To love someone for their physical beauty, intelligence, talent, or character is to hold them in the highest esteem. To love someone of the opposite sex is often to experience physical and romantic attraction.

Yet none of these definitions, taken alone, fully captures the essence of true love. True love is an intense amalgamation of all these sentiments: the deepest appreciation, admiration, adoration, reverence, attraction, affection, and attachment toward another, so profound that one would willingly sacrifice everything for their well-being. True love is inherently altruistic; it is devoid of ego and pride. It manifests in selflessness, kindness, generosity, and patience. It trusts, devotes, surrenders, obeys, supports, accommodates, tolerates, endures, forgives, and protects—just as a mother tends to her children and, ideally, as tango partners yield to one another in the pursuit of unity and joy.

Many young people today conflate possessiveness and desire with love. Approaching relationships from an egocentric perspective, they take love for granted. Some regard love as a mere feeling; others believe they are entitled to it without effort or responsibility. These misconceptions have led to the widespread disintegration of relationships. The truth is: love is not merely an emotion but, more fundamentally, a series of deliberate actions. Love is not about receiving; it is about giving. It is not an unrequited yearning but a mutual devotion wherein both partners strive to bring happiness to the other. More than a gift, love is a solemn responsibility. Like the synergy essential in tango, love can only thrive through continuous, reciprocal effort.

Tango is often likened to love because both demand a delicate balance between two distinct yet complementary roles. Both require submission, commitment, understanding, patience, cooperation, and profound mutual respect. Thus, the wisdom contained within tango extends beyond the dance floor, offering a universal blueprint for achieving unity and harmony in all human relationships.

In love, as in tango, men and women embody different roles (see The Gender Roles in Tango). Men, generally more physically robust and goal-oriented, express love through providing, protecting, and supporting—often in practical ways that may not fully align with women’s emotional sensibilities. A man does not feel truly loved unless he is appreciated, revered, and respected. Women, by contrast, are more emotionally attuned and perceive love through adoration, cherishing, protection, and romantic pursuit. A woman does not feel fully loved if her emotional and romantic needs are unmet. Thus, men must learn to be more considerate, romantic, and attentive, while women must cultivate appreciation, respect, and agreeableness.

Recognizing and embracing these intrinsic differences is crucial—not only in tango but in life itself. Tango fosters this understanding. It teaches teamwork, mutual commitment, respect, cooperation, accommodation, and compromise, enabling a partnership where each individual’s needs are honored and fulfilled (see Tango and Gender Interdependence).

The gift of love, like the gift of tango, enriches every sphere of human connection: between spouses, friends, colleagues, citizens, and dance partners alike. Human beings are fundamentally interdependent; thus, the imperative to love one another is not merely moral but existential. Like hatred, love is reciprocal: when we offer kindness, others respond in kind. In this sense, love is both an act of will and the natural fruit of sustained generosity.

In contrast to ideologies that exalt egoism, selfishness, self-interest, antagonism, and aggression, love is founded upon altruism, compassion, and generosity. It stands opposed to the individualistic and feminist ideologies that increasingly dominate contemporary discourse on relationships. Love is not only a virtue but a vital skill—one that must be cultivated if society is to remain healthy, stable, and peaceful. Just as mastering tango requires dedication and technique, so too does learning to build loving, harmonious relationships. Among all the skills necessary for societal well-being, none is more critical than the ability to love. This philosophy—and this discipline—should be imparted to our youth at every level of education.

Tragically, the American educational system has neglected this foundational lesson. Instead, it has embraced ideologies rooted in capitalism, egocentrism, liberalism, individualism, and feminism. These ideologies encourage young people to become self-centered, competitive, disagreeable, and aggressive—qualities antithetical to the spirit of love and tango. The consequences have been devastating. An internal Department of Homeland Security report dated March 1, 2017, noted that most foreign-born terrorists operating within the United States became radicalized only after living in the country for several years—a stark indication that our ideological climate contributes to alienation and extremism.

The same ideologies have sown discord, hostility, division, and dysfunction across American government and society, fueling greed, intolerance, hatred, fractured relationships, divorce, violence, crime—and even strife within the tango community itself.

Few forces have inflicted greater harm upon the United States than the radical ideologies that glorify egoism, selfishness, greed, individualism, resentment, antagonism, hatred, and belligerence. This country is in desperate need of love, and tango—a dance that teaches people to love (see Tango and Individualism).