The Fourteenth Pitfall of a Tanguera

Fish is the primary ingredient of a fish dish. Other ingredients, such as garlic and onion, are dispensable. Short of the latter, fish is still fish, but without the former, the dish would be unworthy of the title.

The same applies to tango. Among the many elements that make up tango, some define the basic characteristics of the dance, without which tango cannot make itself. Others are less essential, causing no harm whether they are a bit more or a bit less. We often see tangueras turn their tango into something neither fish nor fowl, because in it the subsidiaries superseded the primary.

So, what is the primary ingredient of tango? Beginners often think it’s the steps. They are mistaken. Like garlic and onion, steps are subsidiary. The key ingredient of tango is the embrace, which defines the basic characteristics of the dance. You are dancing tango if, and only if, you dance in a tango embrace, whether you use five steps or fifty.

By "embrace," I do not mean the open dance hold. Tango, often referred to as the dance of love, evolved from the real embrace, where the couple intimately leans into each other—chest against chest, cheek touching cheek, and arms firmly encircling one another. Lovers do not mimic a hug without truly touching each other's bodies. A feigned embrace may resemble the real thing, but the dancers themselves feel the difference. Professional performers use an open dance hold on stage to facilitate their movements and entertain the audience. However, social dancers do not tango for that purpose. They tango to savor the connection and intimacy for their own pleasure, which is why they use the real embrace. This is the fundamental distinction between tango and all show dances, including stage tango. (See Social Tango and Performance Tango.)

Other dissimilarities all stem from this fundamental difference. For instance, unlike other dances, where the dancers rely on their arms and hands to exchange information, tango communication occurs through the direct connection of the torso. The torso, being a highly sensitive organ, is more receptive to subtle cues and emotions than the arms and hands. By using their torsos to lead and follow, tango dancers can achieve a deeper understanding and greater synchronization.

Tango's distinct movements are closely tied to the embrace. Since the torsos of the partners remain connected in the embrace, tango dancers must swivel their hips to move around each other. This technique, known as dissociation, forms the foundation of most tango steps, making tango particularly effective at showcasing the feminine beauty of a woman's pliable body (see Dancing with Hips).

The intimate embrace places significant emphasis on feelings, making tango a feeling-oriented dance. Although formalist dancers have made persistent efforts to emphasize the visual appeal of tango, the style they created fails to satisfy the deeply rooted human needs for connection, intimacy, love, and emotional communication. These needs can only be fulfilled through a genuine embrace.

A young woman described the importance of the embrace in this way: "From the perspective of a girl, I think tango has two layers. The first layer, which is also the core layer, is to maintain a comfortable embrace with your partner and allow him to feel your absolute obedience and your sufficient control over yourself. If you can do that, you will be able to survive the milonga even if you can only dance ballroom styles. The second layer is external; it involves pursuing visual beauty, like in other dances such as ballet, with similar artistic requirements. Neglecting the first layer and focusing solely on the second layer is not tango. In most cases, if you can integrate some second-layer techniques into a solid first-layer foundation, your tango will already be quite stunning."

I appreciate this young woman's insight. Consequently, tango becomes a simple and easy dance for her. Although we cannot dance tango without steps, the essence of tango lies in the embrace. Dancers should not compromise the embrace for the sake of steps. Instead, they should keep the embrace intimate and comfortable at all times throughout the dance and use the steps to support the embrace, thereby placing the embrace and steps in the correct order.

Unfortunately, in the US, societal taboos surrounding intimacy and radical ideologies emphasizing women's independence have influenced the way tango is danced. To avoid touching their partner's body, many women adopt an open dance hold instead of the traditional close embrace. They lean back, extend their arms to create distance, press their shoulder against their partner's shoulder, or use their head against their partner's head to avoid chest-to-chest contact, resulting in an embrace that feels awkward and unnatural. This incorrect embrace impacts their dancing. Instead of swiveling their hips as they must when dancing in a close embrace, women using an open dance hold often turn their entire body instead, breaking the connection and disrupting the flow of the dance. Unlike professional dancers, who can maintain proper technique in an open dance hold during performances, beginners using an open dance hold tend to develop poor habits, such as using arms and hands to help themselves with the movements, dancing without emotional involvement, unable to communicate feelings through direct torso contact, focusing on personal performance and neglecting their partner, and accustoming themselves to many other wrong ways of dancing tango.

For these reasons, I believe that learning tango should start with the close embrace style. Beginners should avoid adopting the open dance hold typically associated with performances until they have built a strong foundation. Otherwise, the bad habits developed early on may become difficult to unlearn. I know women who have danced tango for many years, yet their embrace remains uncomfortable. Such women are like a flower vase—appealing from a distance but impossible to hold in one's arms.

In another post, Women's Common Mistakes in Tango, I listed thirteen common shortcomings of tango women that are closely related to the subject of this discussion. The embrace, however, is an even more significant issue, warranting a dedicated chapter—hence the title.

Here is an example of good embrace in tango dancing.