Tango and Family Values

I raise chickens in my backyard. On cold winter days like these, they huddle together and tango—metaphorically speaking—to stay warm. For them, individualism is a luxury they can't afford. Their survival depends on mutual support, much like that of early human beings.

Sometimes I wonder: are modern humans really wiser than chickens? Why have we created ideologies—liberalism, individualism, feminism, capitalism, Darwinism, hegemonism—to rationalize selfishness, greed, oppression, and violence? Why are we so fixated on personal gain and individual rights, yet indifferent to the suffering of others? Why do we exploit, abuse, dominate, deceive, and even kill our fellow human beings? Why do we accumulate far more than we need, even if it means depriving others? And why, gradually and perhaps unconsciously, have we abandoned the values that once unified and strengthened us as a species?

History reminds us that the darker sides of human nature can give rise to great evil. People are often led—sometimes unknowingly—into adopting ideas that harm both themselves and society. Perhaps we are living through such a time once again (see Pluralism vs. Monism).

And yet, I haven’t lost hope. I still see goodness in people—firefighters, Doctors Without Borders, and even tango dancers. I admire them because it takes courage and compassion to open your arms to others, to provide a supportive shoulder to those in need, and to live by the ethic of the good Samaritan. Tango was created by such people—immigrant men and women who were poor, lonely, and vulnerable, seeking connection in a foreign land, yearning to be loved—who hold compassion to others like themselves. Like chickens, they huddle and tango together to keep themselves warm in a cold world (see Why People Dance Tango).

I also find hope in parents who teach their children to love one another, to care for their siblings, and to work as a team. When such children grow up, they become responsible members of society. Evil prevails only when families fall apart, when family values are lost, when human bonds erode, when egoism dominates, and when materialism, individualism, feminism, racism, hatred, divorce, irresponsible sex, self-indulgence, and single-parent families become the norms.

But I don’t believe this path can last. We are part of nature, and nature’s laws will ultimately prevail over human constructs. Our survival as a species depends on our capacity for cooperation and solidarity—qualities embedded deep within us. As long as humanity exists, so will love, family, teamwork, and the values that bind us. Ideologies that promote division and selfishness—however powerful they may seem today—cannot endure.

Family will always remain the cornerstone of human civilization. Our shared desire to survive and our collective conscience reject what is harmful to society. In the end, we must thrive not as isolated individuals, but as a unified species. That’s why, in times like these, more and more people are turning to tango—a dance that connects us, that demands cooperation, that teaches us to love, and that embodies the very spirit of family values (see Tango Is the Search for a Dream).

Tango and Gender Issues

Part One

A reader recently commented: "I have enjoyed reading your other thoughts so much that I am very sad to read about your view of gender roles in tango. In my view, tango, like any art, is a subjective and living thing. The ability to reassign roles, to me, is a progression. It affirms that the art can and does live and breathe in our contemporary world—a world which, for most of us anyway, rejects misogyny, rejects homophobia, and encourages empathy. The art will continue to be shaped by those who choose it. I agree completely that there is much that could rightly be considered bastardization, but the exchanging of gender roles and the influence of LGBT, this represents the beauty of the art—not some kind of decay. It shows that tango lives in our time of changing gender roles and progress in human rights and understanding. And, in wonderful irony, it reflects tango revisiting its roots (see The Alienation of Tango)."

While I appreciate this thoughtful comment, I respectfully disagree and would like to clarify my perspective. In my view, gender roles are a foundational aspect of tango. If we were to change or reverse them, tango would cease to be the same dance (see The Gender Roles in Tango).

I don't believe the influence of LGBT culture or the transformation of traditional gender roles should be automatically equated with "progress." Trend and progress are not always synonymous. While feminism and homosexuality are widely accepted in much of the Western world, following prevailing trends without critical reflection can lead to unintended consequences. Tango’s resistance to this trend might, in fact, be a gift. It offers a vision of how men and women can engage with one another in a dynamic of harmony and mutual respect—an ideal that many find valuable, especially in an era of rapid social change. This is not to say that individuals shouldn't have the freedom to make their own choices, or that society should marginalize those who do. But it is important to recognize that individual choices do not define universal standards. It is unfair and inaccurate to claim that those who do not adopt certain gender expressions or roles are necessarily misogynistic or homophobic. Likewise, choosing not to dance tango in a nontraditional way does not make someone anti-progressive.

The central issue under discussion concerns the purpose of sex. Those who believe that sex is solely for pleasure argue that individuals can engage in sexual activities with any consenting partner, regardless of gender. From the perspective of liberalism and individualism, this is seen as a matter of personal freedom. Consequently, they advocate for society not only to recognize this as a right but also to establish legal frameworks that enable individuals to freely adopt this lifestyle.

On the other hand, those who view sex as a responsibility tied to procreation and raising the next generation argue that the aforementioned perspective and lifestyle are not beneficial for society and humanity as a whole. They contend that individualism is a flawed ideology, as humans are not isolated, autonomous entities but interconnected and interdependent social beings. The pursuit of unrestricted personal freedom at the expense of society ultimately proves detrimental to individuals themselves. The way we approach tango is not merely about experimenting or exploring new ideas. It is about choosing a way to dance that reflects our values and way of life (see Tango and Individualism).

Part Two

Although humans possess the intelligence to intervene in and manipulate nature, their limited foresight often impairs their ability to grasp the long-term consequences of their actions—a constraint rooted in the brevity of human life. Modern humans are unable to recall or fully comprehend events that occurred tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, or even millions of years ago. Monogamy—defined as the union of one non-consanguineous man and woman—serves as a eugenic mechanism that aligns with humanity's best interests. This institution is not arbitrary but the product of millions of years of evolution, shaped by the accumulated reproductive successes and failures of countless generations. However, modern society appears to be losing sight of the validity of this institution, with alternative forms of marriage becoming fashionable. Yet, no matter how intelligent humans may be, what is rooted in nature remains the soundest, most proper, and most fitting outcome.

Natural systems have undergone extensive evolutionary development, perfected incrementally through natural selection over millions of years. In contrast, human interventions are often experimental and revolutionary in nature—frequently yielding unpredictable and sometimes disastrous consequences. Modern contraception serves as a poignant example of such intervention. By decoupling sexual activity from reproduction, contraception has shifted the primary function of sex from procreation to pleasure. This shift triggers a cascade of societal transformations. Sexual liberation encourages the normalization of pleasure-driven behaviors, including homosexuality. Consequently, traditional marriage becomes marginalized, monogamous family structures begin to erode, and the value systems once centered around family begin to dissolve—a trend already observable in many Western societies.

As the proverb goes, “A small leak will sink a great ship.” If sex is reduced to a means of personal pleasure, the rationale for restricting it on moral or structural grounds weakens. If homosexuality is accepted, why not bisexuality, transgender identities, group sex, incest, adultery, prostitution, or other forms of non-procreative sexual activity? In many Western societies, laws have been amended to legalize same-sex marriage, redefining the institution from a reproductive partnership to a union centered on personal fulfillment. If sexual pleasure alone justifies marriage, then on what grounds should marriage be restricted to non-consanguineous adults? Why should brothers and sisters, brothers and brothers, sisters and sisters, fathers and daughters, fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, mothers and sons, or other close relatives not form sexual relationships for the same reason? Furthermore, why should marriage be limited to two individuals? Why prohibit polygamy, polyandry, or group marriages? Indeed, if reproduction and the welfare of future generations are no longer the core rationale for marriage, then the very institution becomes unnecessary. Sexual activity, in this view, becomes purely a matter of personal autonomy. Proponents of this perspective argue that sexual freedom is a fundamental human right, unconstrained by traditional definitions of marriage or family. Such claims undermine the institution of marriage built upon millions of years of human reproductive practices.

However, this liberal view overlooks a key premise: marriage is not a universal right, but a privilege granted to non-consanguineous heterosexual adults precisely because of its function in ensuring reproduction and stable child-rearing, both are foundational to societal health. Various unconventional sexual relationships are contrary to the best interests of humanity and have therefore been prohibited by law—first by natural law during the prehistoric period for at least tens of thousands of years, and later by statutes during the historical period for millennia. Societies that failed to adhere to this law were ultimately eliminated through the process of natural selection.

Today, with contraception enabling consequence-free sexual activity, social norms are undergoing rapid change. In the United States, movements advocating for LGBT rights have gained significant traction. To date, sixteen U.S. states have legalized same-sex marriage. Behaviors such as homosexuality, bisexuality, adultery, and incest—which have existed throughout history but were previously practiced covertly—are now beginning to gain legitimacy and popularity due to these legislative changes. As these liberal ideas become widely accepted norms, they initiate profound societal shifts: sexual freedom, the weakening of marriage, the dismantling of the human eugenic institution, the disintegration of traditional family structures, a decline in population quantity and quality, and ultimately, the demographic replacement by groups adhering more closely to natural law. These changes mark a moral and cultural transformation of historic magnitude, unfolding most visibly in liberal, individualistic, and feminist-influenced Western societies. In embracing these ideals while discarding longstanding natural and historical principles, these societies risk repeating the fate of past civilizations that once thrived but eventually vanished when they ignored the biological and social foundations of their success.

Part Three

While homosexuals are entitled to their basic human rights, including the freedom to choose their sexual partners, it is important to recognize that the widespread adoption of homosexuality could potentially impact a population's ability to reproduce. Marriage equality—i.e., treating heterosexual and homosexual relationships equally, thereby blurring the distinctions between the two—is not, in my opinion, a good idea. It represents another significant human intervention against nature. As mentioned earlier, marriage is a eugenic institution shaped by millions of years of human reproductive practices. It is a privilege granted exclusively to non-blood-related adult men and women for the purpose of procreation. For the benefit of the human species, this privilege must be safeguarded by law. Failure to do so could have serious repercussions.

The notion of "marriage equality" suggests that gender and bloodline are irrelevant in forming a sexual partnership, that marriage need not be confined to a union between a man and a woman, and that every individual is entitled to engage in sexual relationships with anyone, including those of the same gender or family. It implies that it is ethical to have same-sex or bisexual relationships with multiple partners, that marriage is not a eugenic institution but merely a lifestyle choice, and that sex is solely for pleasure with no associated social responsibilities. This perspective also suggests that procreation and the upbringing of the next generation are not integral to the institution of marriage, that the healthy development of children does not depend on the joint efforts of both a father and a mother, and that welfare incentives designed to encourage opposite-sex marriages for procreation should also be extended to same-sex partnerships. Moreover, it emphasizes that individual rights, personal freedom, self-indulgence, and self-interest are all that truly matter. Can you imagine the impact such ideas—if promoted by the state, enforced by law, and amplified by politically motivated media coverage, TV shows, movies, popular literature, school curricula, and workplace regulations—could have on young minds and the future of humanity?

We know that introducing alien species may endanger native species, marketing genetically modified food may reduce the availability of natural food supplies, promoting tango Nuevo may inhibit traditional tango, and implementing affirmative action may result in reversed discrimination, among other examples. Instances like these are too numerous to count. It is human nature to be drawn to the new and to abandon the old. People often rush to embrace what is fashionable while disparaging what is traditional. Those who question new trends are criticized, as though what has stood the test of time is no longer valuable, while experimental ideas are praised as cutting-edge and progressive. If monogamous marriage, as a eugenic institution, were not protected, the consequences would be profound: the disintegration of traditional families, the rise of same-sex marriages, gay families, and single-parent families, the proliferation of reversed discrimination, and a decline in both the quantity and quality of the population would become inevitable.

More significantly, failing to protect traditional marriage will undermine the family-based value system upon which human civilization is built. The inherent, natural, interdependent, complementary, mutually supportive, and cooperative relationship between the opposite sexes forms the cornerstone of all human relationships. From this relationship arise children, families, societies, and the moral and political systems that form the foundation of civilization. In other words, it is through the most intimate reproductive relationship that people learn to love, trust, cooperate, and coexist harmoniously. The decline of the family will have a disruptive impact on society, as weakening family ties exacerbates the spread of individualism. This shift emphasizes personal freedom, independence, and self-interest while dismissing the interdependence and cooperation necessary for societal harmony (see Tango and Family Values). Feminism, as a parallel to individualism in gender issues, challenges the interdependence of the sexes. It advocates for women’s independence, encourages them to emancipate from family structures, to fight for their rights, to be strong and assertive like men, to compete with men, and not to be outdone by men. Such radical propositions intensifies, rather than alleviates, the confrontation and antagonism between the sexes, undermining social harmony (see Tango and Gender Interdependence). The way to improve the relationship, as tango demonstrates, is to be friendly, acceptant, kind, respectful, cooperative, agreeable, yielding, loving and accommodating to each other rather than being rejective, resentful, hostile, confrontational, aggressive, and uncompromising to each other. The recent government shutdown, caused by a refusal to make concessions, serves as a stark example of the damage inflicted by such extremist ideologies.

Part Four

The gay rights movement, individualism, feminism, and liberalism have undeniably influenced tango. Feminism, in particular, challenges the notions of surrender and obedience of women to men in tango, advocating instead for the woman to maintain her independence. It proposes that the man should offer suggestions rather than take the lead, that the woman should have the freedom to decide how, when, or whether to accept his proposal, that she is free to express herself and initiate her own steps, that the man must respect her autonomy, and even that the woman may lead the man or another woman. Some authors have written books promoting such ideas, and like-minded teachers incorporate these perspectives into their instruction. Students, often mistaking radicalism for progress, blindly follow these trends, transforming tango from a dance where the two sexes collaborate to achieve unity and harmony into one where the sexes become alienated and antagonistic, focusing primarily on individual performance.

I believe most people are not extremists. However, living in a society that “rejects misogyny, rejects homophobia, and encourages empathy,” it is difficult for anyone to remain entirely immune to this kind of indoctrination. Beginners often cling to attitudes they have developed over a long period of time, perceiving themselves as independent individuals rather than being part of a relationship with others. They tend to see themselves not as part of a whole but as separate entities and regard others as rivals. Most people, after a period of learning, gradually overcome this self-centered mindset and adopt a cooperative attitude that aligns with the essence of tango. However, there are some who are unable to transcend their individualistic mentality even after years of practice. Contemporary students need to understand that learning tango involves adopting a set of values that differ fundamentally from those of the modern world. The world prioritizes competition and victory, whereas tango emphasizes cooperation and harmony. The world teaches that balance is achieved through strength and power, but tango teaches that balance is attained through collaboration and accommodation. Tango is not about personal autonomy, independence, individual liberty, or self-interest; it is about achieving unity, harmony, and the common good of the partnership through cooperation (see The Freedom in Tango). The principles of tango—such as surrender, obedience, yielding, agreement, collaboration, accommodation, complementarity, and love—not only enable the two partners to dance in unison but also offer universal values for living together in peace and harmony.

Whenever cooperation is involved, a division of labor becomes necessary. For example, in families, men typically take on more physically demanding tasks, while women tend to handle lighter chores. Such a natural division of labor is based on the physiological differences between the sexes and is in no way a form of discrimination. In tango, the man leads, and the woman embellishes the dance—this, too, is a natural division of labor rooted in the biological characteristics of the sexes, and it does not imply gender inequality. Does it seem natural to you for a woman to lead a man while he embellishes the dance? When you see a woman leading a man, with the man wriggling his body and twisting his hips in an attempt to appear feminine, does that look beautiful to you? When observing same-sex couples dancing, where there is only femininity and no masculinity, or vice versa, does that feel aesthetically appealing? Tango is governed by the principles of dance, not by ideologies. I need not repeat what I have elaborated on in my other articles regarding gender roles. Please refer to the following articles if you haven’t already read them: The Gender Roles in Tango, Femininity and Feminism in Tango (I), Femininity and Feminism in Tango (II), Tango and Gender Equality, Gender Expression in Tango, The Chivalty of the Milongueros, Tango and Gender Interdependence. I firmly believe that those who are not influenced by narrow-minded or extremist ideologies will not see such a division of labor as discriminatory against women. Male chauvinists might use the division of labor as evidence to claim male superiority and female inferiority, which is absurd. Feminists, in turn, aim to abolish or reverse gender roles, which is equally unreasonable.

I believe tango is a positive influence on the Western world. Real social progress is not radical but rational, moderate, gradual, and peaceful—much like nature itself. In its essence, nature is not revolutionary but evolutionary, fostering coexistence, balance, and harmony. It encourages the recognition of connections among various elements and the abandonment of radical ideologies such as individualism, feminism, liberalism, and power politics. Nature calls for prioritizing communal interests over self-interest, integration over segregation, adaptation over antagonism, moderation over extremism, compromise over obstinacy, love over hatred, and peace over war. In other words, nature stands in opposition to the extremist tendencies often found in Western ideologies that go against its principles. Tango embodies these natural principles, illustrating how the two sexes, as a unity of opposites, can coexist harmoniously through mutual attraction, interdependence, complementarity, accommodation, collaboration, and love. These qualities are key to its enduring popularity. Tango helps individuals understand the harm of hostility and the benefits of cooperation. It offers valuable lessons on living together in peace and harmony, making it a meaningful contributor to true human progress (see The Spirit of Tango).