Maintaining Shoulder Parallelism

Milonguero-style tango, known for its close embrace, emphasizes an intimate inner experience and embodies a beauty of compactness, cohesion, elegance, and harmony. This dance style requires partners to maintain chest-to-chest contact and keep their shoulders parallel to achieve maximum connection and effective communication.

Many dancers underestimate the importance of shoulder parallelism. Some women place their bodies on the right side of the man's body, with their left arm hugging his right side, instead of being chest to chest in front of him with their left arm hooking over his shoulder, causing a misalignment of the bodies. Others make contact with only one side of the torso while keeping the other side open, forming a V-shape with their partner. Some compromise shoulder parallelism to execute movements, even positioning their shoulders at a vertical angle to their partner’s. Many women rotate their entire bodies instead of dissociating at the hips, disrupting shoulder alignment. Additionally, men often lead complex movements that force women to sacrifice connection and shoulder parallelism. These habits contradict tango’s intimate, feeling-oriented nature and diminish the artistic quality and harmony of the dance.

Beginners must understand that tango is not about executing steps but about expressing music, emotions, and feelings through an intimate close embrace and physical interaction. Maintaining chest contact and shoulder parallelism is essential for preserving the connection, intimacy, comfort, and emotional depth that define the dance.

Dancers must overcome the mental barriers that prevent them from learning and dancing tango properly. Many beginners feel uncomfortable about physical closeness, causing them to instinctively create distance from their partner. To fully embrace and enjoy the comfort, sentimentality, and intimacy that tango offers, they must let go of cultural preconceptions.

From a technical perspective, the close embrace necessitates mastering dissociation—a technique in which the upper body remains stable while the lower body rotates. This skill is key to maintaining shoulder parallelism and ensuring a seamless connection throughout the dance (see Dissociation and Gear Effect).

Men should avoid leading women into overly challenging movements and instead use natural, simple steps. The range of dissociation at the hips is limited—exceeding this limit disrupts shoulder parallelism. Therefore, men should refrain from leading steps that require excessive hip rotation, and women should strive to maintain shoulder alignment while executing movements.

In conclusion, maintaining chest contact and shoulder parallelism in close-embrace tango ensures maximum body connection, which is crucial for fully experiencing the intimacy, sensuality, and emotional depth that make this style a soulful and comforting dance. It also enhances the dance’s aesthetic appeal, reinforcing its cohesive, compact, elegant, and harmonious visual beauty. Tango students should strive to overcome habits that contradict the essence of tango and polish skills that align with its purpose (see Contra Body Movement and Dissociation).

Beauty Will Save the World

People who are drawn to tango are captivated by the inner and formal beauty that the dance represents. By learning to tango, dancers cultivate their aesthetic taste and improve their mannerisms, making sure their performances exude refinement and sophistication. Through this pursuit of perfection, tango dancers add beauty to themselves, their lives, and the world around them, creating an environment where art and elegance truly shine.

Despite this dedication to beauty, however, there is often a paradox within the tango community. Many dancers, while graceful on the dance floor, show less flattering sides of human nature in their interactions with others. Indifference, unfriendliness, arrogance, and a tendency to show off are not uncommon. Some may even go out of their way to squeeze out competitions. These behaviors stand in stark contrast to the elegance and harmony that tango embodies, creating a dissonance between the beauty of the dance and the attitudes of its practitioners.

True beauty is not confined to the aesthetics of appearance; it is holistic and consistent with one's integrity, encompassing the way we treat others, the kindness we show, and the respect we give to fellow dancers. Real beauty transcends the superficial and penetrates deeper into our character. A tango dancer who exudes elegance on the dance floor but treats others with disdain is not truly embodying the spirit of the dance. To be genuinely beautiful is to maintain consistency between one’s outward expression and inner values.

Dostoevsky once said, "Beauty will save the world." This profound statement speaks to the transformative power of beauty, not just in art but in life itself. The pursuit of beauty inspires people to combat all forms of ugliness—be it cruelty, arrogance, or indifference—and to strive for a better world. When we immerse ourselves in something as beautiful as tango, it should motivate us to carry that beauty beyond the dance floor, influencing how we engage with the world.

Tango dancers have a unique opportunity to lead by example. By working on becoming better people, we can close the gap between the beauty of our dance and the integrity of our character. This transformation starts with being self-aware and committing to align our behavior with the grace and elegance that tango stands for. When we show kindness, humility, and respect, we don’t just improve our own experience—we help create a more welcoming, beautiful community for everyone.

Ultimately, the beauty of tango is not just in the dance itself, but in the people who dance it. By striving to be better individuals, tango dancers can inspire others and help build a world that reflects the true essence of the art they love. The dance of beauty is not limited to what we do on the dance floor; it is a lifelong journey of becoming the best versions of ourselves.

Contra Body Movement and Dissociation

I didn’t fully appreciate the importance of contra body movement (CBM) until I watched the video below. Although the video focuses on ballroom dancing, I believe tango dancers can also benefit from its insights.

CBM is a fundamental dance principle that involves rotating one side of the body toward the opposite moving leg. For example, when the right leg moves forward, the left side of the torso naturally turns slightly toward it, and vice versa. This counterbalancing action is not unique to dance—it occurs in many everyday movements. When walking or running, for instance, a slight torso rotation toward the forward-moving leg enhances stability and forward momentum. Swimmers use CBM to streamline their strokes, while cyclists rely on it for balance and power. These examples highlight how CBM is deeply ingrained in natural human movement.

In ballroom dancing, CBM is often most noticeable in shoulder rotations. Because dancers maintain a fixed frame with their arms, these coordinated shoulder movements become a visible expression of CBM. Unlike in everyday motion, however, ballroom dancers exaggerate these rotations to enhance artistry. A well-executed CBM creates movements that appear balanced, fluid, and visually compelling, emphasizing the dancer’s control and musicality.

A similar concept applies in tango, where maintaining shoulder parallelism is essential, particularly when executing dissociative movements such as walking side by side, turning around each other, zigzagging, changing positions from one side of the partner to the other, and much more. However, while ballroom dancers achieve shoulder alignment primarily through CBM (upper-body rotation), tango dancers rely more on dissociation (lower-body rotation). Because tango is danced in a close embrace, the torso remains connected, requiring dancers to rotate at the hips to move around each other. This ability to dissociate while keeping the shoulders aligned preserves the intimate, inward-focused connection that defines tango.

Furthermore, maintaining shoulder parallelism enhances the cohesion and harmony of movement. As demonstrated in the video below, when dancers maintain this alignment, they create a more cohesive, intimate, and aesthetically pleasing performance than when they do not.

This coordination depends on the dancers’ suppleness and responsiveness. Stiffness and tension disrupt harmony, blocking energy rather than channeling it. In contrast, relaxation and flexibility generate both energy and artistry, allowing dancers to respond intuitively to each other and maintain a natural flow. The essence of partnered dance is not about resistance but about “going with the flow.” A flexible body and the ability to rotate the torso or dissociate at the hips enable dancers to adapt seamlessly to their partner’s movements, fostering a smooth, continuous connection.

Ultimately, dancers must balance technical precision with sensitivity to their partner. Mastering CBM and dissociation is not just about meeting technical standards—it’s about creating a harmonious partnership where two dancers move as one. By refining these techniques, dancers can maintain connection through complex movements, enhance their artistry, and deliver a performance that is both visually captivating and emotionally resonant.

Balancing Reliance and Lightness in Tango

The inherent bond and dynamic interplay between the opposite sexes in tango reflect their complementary qualities. Men embody strength, while women exude a certain fragility. These differences create unique psychological needs. A man’s strength provides a woman with a sense of security, allowing her to relax and feel safe in his companionship. Conversely, a woman’s tenderness and dependence fulfill a man’s innate desire to protect. This very human interaction is what makes tango so captivating. It combines the delicacy and dependence of women with the strength and responsibility of men, creating a harmonious complement that satisfies both. Women are drawn to tango because it allows them to feel connected, supported, and loved, fulfilling their vulnerability and dependence in a secure way. Meanwhile, men are attracted to tango because it enables them to step into a role of strength and leadership. They find satisfaction in guiding, protecting, and responding to women’s needs and being rewarded by their femininity.

However, this balance can only be achieved when both partners understand their roles and work together (see The Gender Roles in Tango). Here’s the challenge: men enjoy women's attachment and dependence on them, but if a woman relies too much on a man, he may feel she is “heavy.” Conversely, if she is too independent, the connection and intimacy break down. Thus, it is crucial to find the right balance.

1. Trust Fully, but Stay Engaged
To satisfy a man’s desire to take responsibility and feel needed, a woman must entrust herself to him. This means letting go of control, overcoming the urge to act independently, and surrendering to his lead. This trust allows the dance to flow seamlessly. But surrendering doesn’t mean becoming passive. A woman must stay engaged and responsive, meeting his strength with her own energy.

2. The 30/70 Rule: Dependence and Independence
A good rule of thumb for women in tango is to maintain 30% dependence and 70% independence. This balance ensures that your partner feels your trust and reliance without becoming overburdened. Occasionally, you can shift toward greater dependence, but always return to this foundational balance. If you are too dependent, he may feel as though he is carrying you. If you are too independent, he may feel as though he is not trusted (see Tango and Trust).

3. Interweave Dependence and Independence
Rather than adhering to a single mode of dancing, alternate between dependence and independence. Depend on him most of the time, then show a touch of your own initiative occasionally. This dynamic interplay of connection and momentary separation keeps the dance engaging and alive.

4. Be Self-Driven, but Subtle
Here’s a key skill: learn to activate your own movements while still following his lead. Stay light on your feet, maintain your balance, and push with your standing leg to power your movements. However, don’t let your partner feel you are driving yourself. Men enjoy feeling in charge, and if they sense you’re dancing independently, they may feel unneeded. The trick is to subtly support the movements without making it obvious. Think of it as adding your own energy to his lead, enhancing the connection without overshadowing it.

5. Make Him Feel Needed and Empowered
Ultimately, the goal is to make your partner feel strong, capable, and in control without overwhelming him. Show him that you trust and depend on him, but also that you’re light and self-sufficient. When you strike this balance, the dance becomes a true partnership, with both partners contributing to its magic.

Balancing reliance and lightness is no easy feat. It is a testament to a woman’s emotional intelligence, requiring awareness, sensitivity, refinement, and sophistication. But once you master this art, your tango will transform. You will experience a deeply connected, intimate, and satisfying dance. When you find the perfect balance between strength and vulnerability, dependence and independence, your tango will become one of the most fulfilling experiences (see Tango and Gender Interdependence).

Achieving Comfortable Arm and Hand Position in Close Embrace

In close embrace, the man's left elbow and the woman's right elbow are bent at approximately 75 degrees, allowing their hands to meet at shoulder height. The natural position of their hands has the palms facing their own body centers, with thumbs on top and little fingers on the bottom. However, this positioning prevents their hands from clasping properly—they need to face each other to interlock. Initially, both partners may adjust their hand positions to accommodate one another, but during dancing, men often unconsciously revert to facing their palms inward, causing the woman's hand to twist outward uncomfortably.

To prevent this issue, the man must keep his palm facing the woman instead of toward his body center. He can also extend his left arm outward rather than keeping it raised in front of his shoulder—this naturally orients his palm toward the woman. Alternatively, the partners may avoid clasping hands altogether. The woman can instead place the lower part of her palm on his upturned palm or allow him to hold the back of her hand. This eliminates any twisting or discomfort in her right hand.

The man should lead with his torso rather than relying on his arms and hands. He must keep his arms and hands completely relaxed to avoid unconsciously using them to guide movements. If the woman feels that her hand is being held too tightly, she should signal the man to adjust his grip rather than waiting until the dance is over to mention it. It’s common for dancers to have habits that the other finds uncomfortable. Communication is essential, and both partners should work together to adapt and accommodate each other during the dance.

Many women, especially those who haven't yet learned to relax, wrap their left arm tightly around the man's right arm, not realizing that this puts weight on his arm, restricting its movement and making him feel heavy and uncomfortable. This positioning also shifts their body to the right side of the man, reducing sensitivity to subtle changes in his body position, which is one of the reasons women fail to do the cruzada.

The proper embrace is symmetrical, with the two partners facing each other chest-to-chest. His left hand and her right hand hold at shoulder height, his right arm wraps around her body, and her left arm hooks over his right shoulder, so the two are perfectly aligned. This correct embrace is not only the most intimate and comfortable for both partners, but it also allows the woman to sense subtle changes in the man's body position, so when he walks on her right, she will naturally reposition her body with the cruzada to put her body back in alignment with him (see Why Women Fail to Do Cruzada).

Tango, as an intimate, feeling-oriented dance, must be danced in the most comfortable and communicable embrace. Dancers should not just go with their own habits or social preconception and ignore the comfort of their partner. A proper embrace, as described above, is one that is the most comfortable for both parties. Although this embrace may not align with someone's personal preference, dancers must accommodate each other, even put their partner's needs before their own. For beginners, this is often the first hurdle they have to overcome.