Not only so, we also need to be agreeable with each other in order to function as a team. If team members are disagreeable with each other, they cannot work together in unison for the common cause. For this reason, agreeableness was once regarded as an important virtue. People may have personal interests and personal opinions, but as members of a team they must think from the vantage point of the group, be empathetic, overcome their own ego, seek common ground, and be willing to compromise, regarding them as a part of the whole that is bigger and more important than themselves.
But, when individualism becomes the dominant philosophy in a society where everyone thinks of himself or herself as the most important, that is no longer the case. In today's America, for example, individual rights and personal interests take precedence over the interests of the society as a whole. As a result, people disagree and bicker with each other on everything. The gridlock in our politics is but a reflection of the pettiness, selfishness, rabidity and obstinacy that characterize a nation's lack of broad vision, magnanimity, fraternity and common cause.
The disregard for human rights is a regrettable fact in human history. Liberalism, which places individual liberty at the center of its cause, has played a positive role in human history. However, the view of men and women as free and independent individuals is an unbalanced proposition. Human beings are not only free and independent individuals, but also interconnected and interdependent social beings. Our life, liberty and happiness depend on collective efforts and a stable and harmonious society. Therefore, human rights must not be conceived only as individual rights, but the rights of the mankind as a whole also, among these rights are equality, coexistence, sharing, cooperation and fraternity. (See The Freedom in Tango.)
In today's America, however, the collective rights and well-being of the society as a whole are often being ignored while individual rights and personal freedom are overemphasized and are pushed to the extreme by the right and the left alike. Business aggression and expansionism, the exploitation of other human beings, squandering, monopolization, the destruction of the environment, the depletion of natural resources, the concentration of wealth in the hands of a few, the influence of big money on politics, the promotion of obscenity and violence, gun culture, sex freedom, homosexualism, same-sex marriage, etc., all in the name of personal freedom and individual rights, are typical examples. Too many people think only about themselves and disregard the common interests of the society and humanity as a whole. (See Tango and the Relationship of the Opposite Sexes.)
Our tango reflects the same kind of thinking. Many dancers do not see themselves as a part of the team or community, but as independent individuals. (See 惜缘.) Freedom is being interpreted as against any compliance. Equality is being interpreted as against any submission. (See Tango and Gender Equality.) Gender roles are repudiated. Men do not lead, but only give suggestions. (See How Tango Is Led.) Women remain independent, may disobey men, interrupt the lead, or reverse roles. Tango embrace is being replaced with an open dance hold to allow more individuality. Personal performance supersedes intimate cooperation. The relationship of the partners becomes a cold working relationship, and so becomes the environment of the milonga. Everybody demonstrates a strong ego. Those who want to dance with others are often being humiliated by the rude response of the invitees. There is a lack of friendliness, brotherhood, intimacy and cooperation in our milongas.
But, we are human beings still. Our individualistic illusion does not blot out our loneliness, yearning, interdependence and need for each other. That is why we come to tango in the first place - to be in close contact with each other, to enjoy intimacy and cooperation, to satisfy our hunger for affection and affinity. Unfortunately, these needs are often being stymied by our independence, arrogance and disagreeableness.
Tango puts us in such an intimate relationship with one another that we are forced to rethink what it means to be men and women, to change our self-centered behaviors, to be better connected and cooperative partners, and to dance in unison and harmony through abiding by the roles and being agreeable with each other. The lessons we can learn from tango are valuable and applicable to other areas of life as well. (See The Lessons of Tango.) We need leaders who understand the truth revealed in tango, to unite people, set aside the difference, find common ground, restore brotherhood, focus on the common cause instead of the differences, and work as a team. Our milonga will be a better place in which to dance, and our society will be a better place in which to live, I believe, if we embrace the spirit of tango and reject individualism.