One of the most important rules in tango is not to blame, criticize or teach your dance partner. Milongueros follow this code strictly because they know the consequence. Recently, two of my students had a big fight. It started out of perhaps a very good intention to help. She said something about his leading. He defended himself and said something about her following. The conversation escalated to insults and ended up with two broken hearts. They perhaps will not dance with each other again.
Robert Farris Thompson said in his book, Tango, the Art History of Love, that tango "is the dance that teaches the world to love." The idea of tango is to welcome another person into your personal space, to accept that person, to let go your ego, to surrender to that person, to listen to his/her inner voice and feelings, to be considerate, cooperative, yielding and adaptive, to enjoy the intimacy, to be one with him/her, and to give comfort, pleasure and love. It is a different idea from what our culture stands for, that is, individualism, independence, self-interests and aggression. Hopefully, tango will make us a better person who treats others with respect, appreciation and care, accept others as who they are and put others instead of oneself at the center of one's life and dance. Until then, we are not qualified as tango dancers, and cannot dance tango well anyway. (See Tango Is a Relationship.)