Fish is the primary ingredient of a fish dish. Other ingredients such as garlic and onion are dispensable. Short of the latter fish is still fish, but without the former the dish would be unworthy of the title.
It is same with tango. Among the many elements that made tango, some decides the basic characteristics of the dance, without which tango cannot make itself; others are less essential, causing no harm whether they are a bit more or a bit less. We often see tangueras made their tango neither fish nor fowl, because in it the subsidiaries superseded the primary.
So, what is the primary ingredient of tango? Beginners tend to think that's the steps. They are wrong. Like garlic and onion, steps are subsidiary. The key ingredient of tango is the embrace, which decides the basic characteristics of the dance. You dance tango if, and only if, you dance in tango embrace, whether with five or fifty steps.
By embrace I do not mean the open dance hold. Tango, known as the dance of love, is evolved from the real embrace, wherein the couple intimately lean into each other chest against chest, cheek touches cheek, and arms encircle and hold each other tightly. Lovers do not make a hugging gesture without actually touching each other's body. A feigned embrace may look like a real embrace, but the dancers themselves know the difference. Professional performers use open dance hold on stage to facilitate their performance in order to entertain the audience. But social dancers do not tango for that. They tango to enjoy the connection and intimacy for their own pleasure, which is why they use real embrace. This is the fundamental difference between tango and all show dances including stage tango. (See Social Tango and Performance Tango.)
Other dissimilarities all arise from this fundamental difference. For example, unlike other dances in which the dancers rely on their arms and hands to exchange information, in tango communication takes place through direct connection of the torso, which is itself a very sensitive organ, more susceptible to intimation and feeling than the arms and hands. Tango dancers can achieve deeper understanding and better synchronization by using their torsos to lead and follow.
Tango's distinct movements are also associated with the embrace. Because the torsos of the partners are attached in the embrace, tango dancers have to swivel their hips in order to dance around each other. This technique, known as dissociation, is the basis of most tango steps, making tango especially capable of displaying the feminine beauty of women's pliable body (see Dancing with Hips).
The intimate embrace also attaches importance to feelings, causing tango to be a feeling-oriented dance. Although formalist dancers have made unremitting efforts to exploit the visual impression of tango, the style that they created cannot satisfy the needs deeply rooted in human nature for connection, intimacy, love and communication of feelings. These needs can only be met through real embrace.
A young woman wrote about the importance of the embrace this way: "From the perspective of a girl, I think tango has two layers. The first layer is also the core layer, which is to keep a comfortable embrace with your partner and let him feel your absolute obedience and sufficient control of yourself. If you can do that, you will be able to survive the milonga even if you can only dance ballroom dances. The second layer is external, that is to pursue the visual beauty like other dances such as ballet, with similar artistic requirements. To put it in another way, ignoring the first layer and focusing only on the second layer is not tango. In most cases, if you can integrate some second layer techniques into a solid first layer foundation, your tango will be quite stunning already."
I appreciate this young woman's insight. Consequently tango becomes a simple and easy dance for her. Although we cannot dance tango without the steps, the essence of tango lies in the embrace. Dancers shouldn't compromise embrace for the sake of steps. Rather, they should keep the embrace intimate and comfortable at all time throughout the dance and use the steps to facilitate the embrace, thus put the embrace and steps in a correct order.
Unfortunately in the US, unlike in Argentina, taboos against intimacy between the sexes and liberal ideologies that advocate for women's independence lead to politically correct way of dancing tango. Many women use an open dance hold to replace the embrace. In order not to let their body touch men's body, they lean back, spread men with their arms and hands to keep a distance, or prop their shoulder against men' shoulder, or use their head against men's head to keep their breasts from touching men's chests, resulting in an embrace that is awkward and uncomfortable. Instead of swiveling their hips as they must in close embrace, women using open dance hold tend to turn their whole body, causing the rupture of the embrace and incoherence of the movements. Unlike professional dancers who know how to use right techniques when they perform in open dance hold, novices using open dance hold tend to develop bad habits, such as using arms and hands to help themselves with the movements, dancing without emotional involvement, focusing on personal performance and neglecting the partner, and accustoming themselves to the wrong way of dancing tango that avoids dissociation and intimate communication, etc. That's why I believe learning tango should start with the close embrace style. A beginner should not use the open dance hold associated with performance until she has laid the foundation. Otherwise the bad habits that are developed may not be easy to overcome. I know women who have tangoed for many years but their embrace is still uncomfortable. Such women are like a flower vase, looking good only from a distance but cannot be held in the arms. In another post, Women's Common Mistakes in Tango, I listed thirteen common shortfalls of tango women that are closely related to the subject of this post. The embrace, however, is an even bigger issue, deserving a separate chapter, hence the title.
Here is an example of good embrace in tango dancing.
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