The Freedom in Tango

The freedom in tango is not the freedom of the part in the lower sense, but the freedom of the whole in the higher sense. (See Pluralism vs. Monism.)

In America, many people think of freedom as such: Each individual person is a sovereign being with certain unalienable rights granted to them by the Creator, including life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Since self-interest is the driving force of the individual, competition with others is justified. American law promotes and protects competetion. Education is designed to improve the individual's chance to win competition. Economics uses competition to stimulate growth, disregarding that natural resources are shared by all people and need to be used prudently and wisely, the cooperation among people, and the fair distribution of wealth. The political system of America is built on partisanship, in which politicians are mainly engaged in partisan fights rather than serving the people, causing many social problems such as poverty, homelessness, doping, gun proliferation, unaffordable healthcare, failed public education, crumbled infrastructure etc. to remain unresolved for decades. (See Philosophies that Separate Two Worlds.)

This civilization, based on self-interest, competition, predatory development and irrational consumption, now is facing grave crisis. On the one hand is the unchecked greed, on the other is the depleting natural resources. On the one hand is the extravagant lifestyle and tremendous waste, on the other is the deteriorating environment. On the one hand is the surge in GDP, on the other is the increasing inequality. On the one hand is the exorbitant wealth of a few, on the other is the struggles of many. Obviously, the theoretical foundation of our civilization has serious flaws. It does not give enough consideration on justice, fairness, coexistence, equality, cooperation and sharing. It has created a small minority of winners and a vast maority of losers. (See America Is in Big Trouble.)

The Declaration of Independence states, "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, - That whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness."

It seems to me that we need to take a long hard look at these words. Do we understand their meaning truthfully? Should we decide to change the foundation upon which our society is meant to be built? Because it turns out, the individualistic interpretation of the Constitution has not brought, nor will it bring the safety and happiness that most people desire. (See Tango and Equality.)

When tango was imported, few Americans realized that a new idea was introduced. In contrast to individualism, tango does not see individuals as independent, self-interested and autonomous beings but interconnected, interrelated and interdependent members of society with shared common interests. Without other human beings an individual alone is crippled regardless of how important he/she is from his/her own perspective. In tango, dancers can only perform well when they cooperate with each other, and only in that cooperation can each person enjoy the maximum joy. The success, therefore, is not that of any single individual alone, but that of the team as a whole. The individuals are not in a relationship of competition, control, power struggle or taking advantage of each other, but surrender, submission, collaboration, accommodation and complement. (See Tango and Individualism.)

Resting in his arms, entrusting herself to him, feeling his masculine strength, sharing his emotions and feelings, enjoying his protection, following him freely without worry, moving in harmony with him, and letting her femininity and beauty reveal to attract and satisfy him, these to the woman mean pleasure, security and realization of her value as a woman. On the other hand, being with her, winning her trust, enjoying her obedience, affection and seduction, feeling her feminine body twisting in his arms, pampering her, protecting her and displaying her beauty, these to the man mean pleasure, comfort and realization of his value as a man. Tango brings men and women to their original state where the two sexes are in a destined fellowship, where there is no calculation of gains and losses, no exchange of money and power, no self-interest and worldly concerns, only the common purpose of enjoying each other, and where all Cinderellas and Tryballots have the same dignity and respect as the nobility.

The appeal of tango comes from its shared intimacy, connection, unity, and cooperation. Radical ideologies such as individualism, feminism, neoliberalism and power politics are antithetical to tango. What is regarded virtuous in tango is love, fraternity, submission, kindness and collaboration. Although tango is not an economic activity, as an act of cooperation its joy is shared. This principle can be extended to other areas of life as well. What is not based on self-interest does not submit to the control of the invisible hand of capital and greed. We can logically infer that wealth, too, can be distributed fairly to allow all who have participated in its creation to share, rather than being hogged by a few. Just like the victory of a sports team is resulted from the cooperation of the players, so the honor is given to all team members rather than just the one who scored. Shareholding, therefore, seems to be a better way of distributing wealth than minimum wages.

How we see ourselves decides how we organize our political, economic, social and cultural lives. Jean-Jacques Rousseau said, "Man is born free, yet everywhere he is in chains." We created our own chains. We must also be unchained by ourselves. Unfortunately, our civilization has not yet evolved to that stage, I am afraid, as attested again by the recent reports on tortures, etc. To be a free people, we must first understand what that means. There is still a long way before we truly gain freedom - one that is stated in our Constitution. I can only hope that tango will help to gear up that process. (See The World Needs a Different Philosophy.)

The World Needs a Different Philosophy

Tango, as a drop in the ocean of human civilization, reflects both the beauty and pollution of this world. The problems we have in tango today are not just problems of the dance, but problems our world faces as well.

Just like how we see tango affects how we dance it, how we perceive ourselves affects how we behave and live. Over millions of years of evolution we humans gradually differentiated ourselves from beasts . The difference between us and animals can be summed up in one word: humanity. Our understanding of our own humanity reached a height in the 14th-17th centuries. Unlike the distorted images of man in contemporary art, his/her dignity, nobility and beauty are themes of the Renaissance. The consequent sublimation of human spirit led to the rebellions against all restrictions on human liberty, the establishment of democracy, the discharge of human creativity, the advancement of science and technology, and the prosperity of modern civilization.

In this process, however, mankind has alienated itself. We left footprints in every corner of the Earth. Farmlands replaced forests, cities replaced farmlands, pollution replaced purity, materialism replaced idealism, extravagance replaced simplicity, competition replaced cooperation, stress replaced enjoyment, monopoly replaced sharing, corruption replaced integrity, legalism replaced common sense, individualism replaced fraternity, self-interest and personal entitlements replaced communal interests and common cause, sexual liberation replaced marriage, single parent family and gay family replaced traditional family, trans-gender replaced natural gender, GMOs and synthetic food replaced real food, virtual economy replaced real economy, games replaced classics, artificial intelligence replaced human intelligence, machines replaced people... Modernization has led mankind farther and farther away from nature and humanity. The ecosystem has been destroyed. The environment has suffered irreversible damages. Natural resources are depleting. Traditional morality has been subverted. Individual persons, genders, races, special interests, political parties and nation states are infighting with each other. It seems that human liberty, the very thing that has led mankind to prosperity, is leading us to division, conflict, war, and self-destruction. (See Tango Is the Search of a Dream.)

Someday, ideas like returning to nature, conservation, environmentalism, humanism, collectivism, equality, fraternity, solidarity, cooperation, common-interests, teamwork, sharing, and harmony, etc., will replace ideas like egoism, liberalism, individualism, feminism, materialism, capitalism, self-interest, competition, aggression, power politics, conquest, winning, etc., to become the consensus of most people, I hope. But by then it may be too late.

The world needs a different philosophy, not narrow-minded, self-centered, and unbalanced ideologies, but an idealism that can lead mankind to fraternity, solidarity, magnanimity, cooperation, and harmonious coexistence. Hopefully, tango will play a positive role in the return of humanity, because it embodies the values that make us human. (See Philosophies that Separate Two Worlds.)

Boston Tango Marathon

Except in a few large cities, most tango communities in the US are still quite small. Tango enthusiasts often travel to big tango festivals around the country to dance tango. That could be quite expensive. Festival pass is $250 to $1000 per person. Private lesson of a big name teacher is $100 to $300 an hour. Round trip by air is $250 to $500 per ticket. Hotel room for four nights is $400 to $600. Rental car and gas add another $250. Plus other costs such as parking, toll and food, a couple could easily spend two to three thousand dollars for a single weekend trip, enough to travel to Buenos Aires for a few weeks.

In recent years tango marathon has replaced tango festival to become my favorite event because it allows me to focus on dancing. Unlike a tango festival, a tango marathon does not provide lessons, saving the organizer the money to hire instructors. Consequently the cost of a tango marathon is much lower. With fewer novices, the dance floor is less crowded, the level of dance is higher, and milonga codes are better observed. It has everything that serves me better than a tango festival.

Two weeks ago, I attended the Boston Tango Marathon. Although this was only their second year, thanks to the organizer Alla Lakov, Peter Simoneau and fifty volunteers of the Boston tango community, it went very well. The pass was only $100, covering 40 hours of dancing in three days plus meals, refreshments, drinks and ice creams. Obviously, it aimed at providing the dancers with a good experience rather than making money. Best of all, this marathon had a theme - friendship, which was repeatedly emphasized during the event. Every time when Alla and Peter asked the participants what the theme of the marathon was, the audience replied with one voice: "Friendship!" It worked!

I appreciate the organizers' effort to make the event a warm and friendly experience for the dancers, especially now in the US where attentions often are paid only to dance and not the cultural aspects of the dance. In Buenos Aires, however, the opposite is true. It is regarded as their duty to provide the dancers with a welcoming environment by organizers of the BA milongas, where the guests are cordially greeted at the door, seats are meticulously arranged to facilitate cabeceo, tables are covered with pressed clean clothes, food and drinks are served to the table, and milonga codes are strictly complied. While in the US the break time is the announcement time, in Buenos Aires it often is the time for tango education, when milonga codes are explained and problems are dressed. In one occasion, at Club Gricel, two children were brought to the dance floor by the tourists, causing some disturbance. A group of milongueros quickly discussed the matter, and the parents were politely advised to take the children out. I am sure many visitors have witnessed similar stories. Richard Miller, for example, mentioned in his blog a post that he saw at the Milonga Cachirulo, which reads:

“Welcome to the best milonga in Buenos Aires. Tanguero friends, please pay attention.
• Here we dance milonguero style tango, and we learn to respect the codes of the milonga.
• We dance with a warm, respectful and close embrace.
• We follow the line of dance, in a counter-clockwise direction.
• We try not to step backwards into the line of dance, always walking forward, as it should be.
• We do not lift our feet too much from the floor; this way we avoid hitting other dancers.
• We invite women to dance through the classic 'Cabeceo del caballero'.
• Furthemore, and very important, respect is the first card we play in the game of the milonga.
Much to our regret, not respecting these codes will make it impossible to dance in Cachirulo.”

It is the efforts like these that made the BA milongas wonderful. I am glad to see that now in this country some tango organizers start to move in the same direction. Tango is a dance that is of the dancers, by the dancers and for the dancers. It should not cost an absurd amount of money to enjoy. A friendly culture governed by the milonga codes must be introduced into our tango through education and good leadership. Now, thanks to the Boston Tango Marathon, we have an example.

Tango Is a Fellowship

I was asked to make a comparison between Argentine tango and American tango. Though a short essay cannot cover such a vast topic, I would like to share my observation from a specific perspective.

Those who view tango solely as a skill may believe that once they have mastered the technique, they have mastered the dance. Unfortunately, such individuals often disrespect tango culture, ignore milonga codes, dismiss other people's feelings, treat others as competitors, and focus solely on individual performance. This attitude is especially prevalent in the US, where rampant liberalism and individualism clash with tango.

Liberalism prioritizes individuality, independence, personal freedom and autonomy over relationship and cooperation. Instead, tango emphasizes the unity, teamwork, fellowship and harmony between the dancers. The essence of tango lies not in the display of personal skills, but in the partnership, intimacy, cooperation, and agreement between dancers. Tango is, above all else, a fellowship, and to enjoy it, dancers must be a part of that fellowship. Without it, even the most excellent dance skills are meaningless. (See Never Forget Why We Started.)

For this reason, he/she who only dances exhibition tango with a fixed partner is not a tango dancer in the true sense. Unfortunately, this kind of career performers are often regarded by tango students as role models. Under their influence, many young people do not see tango as a fellowship but a show, hence the alienation of tango. However, vanity cannot quench the thirst of the soul. Once mastered the skill, most people will continue their search for deeper meanings, moving away from exhibitionism and turning to the essence of tango. (See The Four Stages of the Tango Journey.)

The revival of tango, started in 1983, has been more than thirty years. During this time tango in the US has grown apace. Technically speaking many tango dancers in this country have already reached the level of Argentines. However, in Argentina tango is a close-knit community rather than merely a dance or show, and they place great value on fellowship. Instead of focusing solely on the dance skill and performance, American tango dancers need to overcome their individualism, and pay more attention to relationship, camaraderie and community building. This task requires the joint efforts of all dancers, teachers and organizers. How each and every dancer cherishes their tango community, acts in the milongas, treats others, invites or accepts the invitation, dances and so on, not only reflects their understanding of tango but also impacts the community. As tango dancers we need to take this responsibility seriously and make efforts to improve our relationship and dance community. Only then can our tango truly catch up with Argentine tango. (See 惜缘.)

The Psychology in Tango

One

The attraction between the sexes can inspire such passion and creativity that Freud considered art a sublimation of sexual desire. While sexual desire isn't the only driver of art, Freud's theory seems to explain tango. As long as we do not view sexuality too vulgarly, its link with passion, romanticism, imagination, creativity and artistic expression is understandable. In fact, don’t all human activities stem from the need to reproduce and thrive as a species, thus there are love, marriage, family, children, education, economy, competition, inequality, crime, war, and so on? Sexuality can lead to both good and evil. The vulgar understanding of human sexuality has caused the distortion and rejection of tango in the past. Tango's popularity today testifies the progress of human understanding. (See Artistic Sublimation and Vulgarism in Tango.)

Two

Tango is a dance of immigrants. It is created by immigrants. It expresses the feelings and serves the needs of immigrants. (See Tango: Historical and Cultural Impactst.) Those who love tango are either immigrants or people like immigrants who are lonely, homesick, and yearning for love.

Jeanette Winterson wrote, "I want to go anywhere that is filled with love. I want to be like a migratory salmon, relentlessly searching for the traces of love." Her words reflect an immigrant's aspiration. Love and loneliness are related feelings. Without that understanding one cannot truly appreciate tango.

You don't have to leave your country to be an immigrant. Students going to schools far away from home, college graduates just stepping into society, entrepreneurs struggling alone to start a business, migrant workers looking for jobs in big cities, homeless people, wandering travelers, lonely singles, women who married a wrong man, powerless people bullied by the powerful... aren't they all immigrants? We can say that immigrant is the common status of most people. Ever since we came into the world, we became migrants in search of the love and home in our dreams.

Thus, tango, known as a refuge or home, came into being.

Three

"What is home? Home is not a house or place. It is the attachment, warm feeling and connection that we have in this mortal world. In absence of them even a mansion of a thousand rooms is but a cold building. Home is where our hearts belong, filled with affection and love." - Xiaomu

Xiaomu is talking about tango. Tango is not a house or place, but home. Without affection and love, tango becomes a cold building. But affection and love can't be seen. All people see is a cold building.

Cancer patient Yu Juan wrote in her death bed, "When facing life and death, you realize that working overtime (long-term staying up late is suicidal), pushing yourself too hard, wanting to buy a new car or new house, these are all vanities. If you have time, spend it with your children. Use the money saved for a new car to buy a pair of shoes for your parents. Don't work overtime in order to move to a bigger house. Being with the ones you love makes you feel warm even live in a humble home."

Yu Juan is also talking about tango. The most important thing in tango is not to impress, but to enjoy affinity and intimacy. Happiness is simple, artless, and personal. It belongs to yourself. But happiness is invisible. People are only impressed by what they see.

Four

Parents tell children, "This cake tastes better than that cake." But children do not believe, they want that which looks more colorful and tempting. After they have tried everything, they were finally convinced that what the parents said was right. So they tell their children. But their children do not believe, they still want that which looks more colorful and tempting.

Milongueros tell beginners, "Fancy steps are useless in the milongas." But beginners do not believe, they want to learn fancy steps. After they have studied all they can learn, they realized that the milongueros were right. So they tell their students. But their students do not believe, they still want to learn fancy steps.

Again and again people are deceived by their eyes. How many efforts need to be wasted before we learn that lesson?

"Happiness is actually a lot simpler than what we thought. The problem is, if we do not explore all the possibilities and experience all the miseries, if we do not climb all the mountains and fall all the falls, we would not believe that happiness lies in the shade of those trees at the foot of that hill." - Liu Yu

Perhaps that is how most people learn. Only those having the humility to listen to people who have tried before them can avoid making the same mistakes. (See Tango Is a Language (I).)

Five

"There are two ways of life: one is to follow the expectations of others; the other is to follow your own heart. The former might get you a lot of applauses, but not your own. No one would applaud for the latter perhaps, but you will surely applaud for yourself." - Zhu Deyong

Tango is often described as feelings, connection, relationship, love, community, refuge, home, etc. The only thing tango should not be described as, is performance. A performance is a dramatized show, like a McDonald's food ad, made only to attract eyeballs. Have you ever actually bought a burger like the one in the ad? Tango is tango only when it is not a performance.

Not that you should not watch videos, but keep in mind that tango is a feeling rather than image being danced. (See The Conceptional Beauty of Tango.)

Six

Feelings are gendered. Men and women look for different things in tango. What is programmed in the DNA of the male is strength, which is why men are attracted to women, they need to be comforted by women. What is programmed in the DNA of the female is softness, which is why women are attracted to men, they need the sense of security. Men and women are created for each other. They attract each other, complement each other, and bring out the best in each other. That is the law of nature.

Woman, you need to make him feel comfortable, so that he may consider where you are as his home.

Man, you need to lead, support and protect her diligently, so that she may take refuge in your arms and feel safe.

The secret of tango lies not in aesthetics but in psychology, in the attraction between yin and yang, the complementarity of masculinity and femininity, and the interactions between the sexes. (See Tango and Gender Interdependence.)

Seven

"If you want to remember the beauty of a flower, leave before it fades. If you want to enjoy a good wine, stop before you get drunk." - Li Ao

It makes a lot of sense for tango to be short. It is only three minutes, so the aftertaste is endless.

"Perhaps the most beautiful love is that you love him and he loves you, but the two of you are not together." - Anonymous

Eight

A poem titled The Kiss reads, "I ran up the door, opened the staircase, put on the prayer, said the pajama, turned off the bed, got into the light, all are because of the kiss he gave me, when he said goodbye."

Some people left the milonga after a perfect tanda, just to preserve that surprisingly wonderful feeling.

Tango is created to taste and feel.

In that feeling, many found a temporary home.

The Functions of Various Body Parts in Tango

Various body parts, including the head, arms, hands, torso, hips and legs, play different roles in tango. Tango dancers must understand the different functions of the body parts and properly assign attention in order to use them in a controlled and coordinate fashion. Incorrect use of the body parts is a common problem in tango.

In close embrace, the woman may rest her head on the man's temple, cheek or chin according to her height. She may choose not to do so, but if she does, then the touch of the head must be comfortable. Some women prop their head against the man's head in order to prevent their breasts from touching his chest. Beginners often draw support from the head when doing steps. Such practices reflect a misunderstanding of the function of the head. The touch of the head is a sign of intimacy and must be gentle. Dancers need to dissociate the head from the body and not use it against the partner to avoid chest contact or to assist the movement of the body, as both are uncomfortable.

The functions of the arms and hands are more complex. Arms and hands can be used to hold the partner to form an intimate and comforting embrace. They can also be used to support, protect and sooth the partner. These are the correct uses of the arms and hands. Arms and hands can also be used to convey intentions and to fight. Some people hence use them to coerce or resist the partner, wrestle with the partner, spread the partner away to avoid intimacy, hold on to the partner for balance and stability, or grab the partner to assist the movement of the body. These are misuses of the arms and hands. Beginners need to rid the habit of using arms and hands. Tango is led and followed with the torsos. Arms and hands should only be used to form a snug embrace, not as the tool to lead and follow, to keep balance and stability, to distance oneself from the partner, or to assist the movement of the body, let alone to resist or fight with the partner. The touch of the arms and hands should be gentle and weightless. Dancers must dissociate their arms and hands from their body and not use them as weapons or movement aids.

The torso is the command center in tango dancing. Tango dancers use their torsos to communicate intentions and feelings, and to bring out the movements of their lower bodies. Tango is an intimate, soulful and comforting dance mainly because of the function of the torso in the dance. Unfortunately, this function of the torso is often overlooked by action-oriented dancers who use an open dance hold to replace the embrace, putting the torso to petty use under the command of the arms and hands. As a result, they changed tango from a feeling-oriented dance to a movement-oriented dance.

In a previous post I quoted a young woman's insightful observation on tango. (See The Fourteenth Pitffall of a Tangura.) What she called the first layer technique, namely, to maintain a comfortable embrace, and the second layer technique, namely, to pursue visual beauty, in essence refer to the function of the torso and the function of the legs respectively. In tango, the torso is in relative rest in the embrace, but the movements of the legs are brisk and colorful. If the torso is associated with feelings, then the legs represent beauty. A good tango is a perfect combination of the two. Formalist dancers concern only about the look and ignore the feelings, and they use the torso as but another limb to create fancy movements under the command of the arms and hands. However, pursuing visual impression at the expense of the intimacy and comfort of the embrace is not worth the candle. Throughout its history from tango milonguero to tango Villa Urquiza to tango fantasia to tango Nuevo, the alienation of tango clearly follows an aesthetic path farther and farther away from the embrace and feelings. (See The Styles of Tango.) I do not think that direction is worth advocating. I believe the juxtaposition of the comfort of the embrace and the beauty of the footwork is totally possible. It does not have to sacrifice the embrace in order to pursue beauty. Many beautiful tangos danced by outstanding tango dancers, such as the Poema danced by Geraldine Rojas and Javier Rodrigues, and many tangos danced by Agustina Piggio and Carlotos Espinoza, are good examples.

These dancers can achieve such level of excellence because they are versed in using their hips, which are like the swivel that joins the upper body and the lower body. Because their torsos are connected in the embrace, they need to swivel their hips in order to move their legs around each other. In tango terms that is called dissociation. (See Dissociation and Gear Effect.) Educated tango dancers are able to dissociate their upper body and lower body to a greater degree, so they can step freely around each other without breaking the embrace. Dissociation is not only a physical detachment but also an artistic division of labor, enabling the upper body to remain in the comfort of the embrace while allowing the lower body to maximize its creativity.

In contrast, the body of the novice is not flexible enough to be dissociated freely, so, instead of using their torsos to lead and follow, an inexperienced man often leads with his arms and hands, and an inexperienced woman tends to turn her whole body instead of swiveling her hips, and they grip hold of each other with their hands to help themselves with the movements, causing the rupture of the embrace and incoherence of the dance. You may call it by its fine-sounding name "open embrace," but its real cause is the inability to dance in close embrace, thus resort to a fake substitute instead. But, cheating has a price, as it can only fool others, not the dancers themselves. Professional dancers use open embrace on stage to perform for the audience, not for their own pleasure. They pay that price for their job. As soon as they go to a milonga, they switch to dance in close embrace. (See Social Tango and Performance Tango.) Novices who envy their glamour on stage, blindly imitate them in the milongas without even can embrace well. Such crude imitation only makes them look foolish.

To sum up, when dancing tango, the head and the arms and hands should be completely relaxed and not interfere with the movement of the body. The function of the torso is to communicate intentions and feelings via direct torso contact and to bring out the movement of the lower body. Tango's beautiful footwork is the function of the legs. The key to maximize the beauty of the footwork while maintaining the comfort of the embrace lies in the swivel of the hips. Learning tango is not primarily learning steps, but learning to control, coordinate and properly use various parts of the body. Focusing on movements and ignoring feelings is the leading course of misuse of the body parts in tango.

The Fourteenth Pitfall of a Tanguera

Fish is the primary ingredient of a fish dish. Other ingredients such as garlic and onion are dispensable. Short of the latter fish is still fish, but without the former the dish would be unworthy of the title.

It is same with tango. Among the many elements that made tango, some decides the basic characteristics of the dance, without which tango cannot make itself; others are less essential, causing no harm whether they are a bit more or a bit less. We often see tangueras made their tango neither fish nor fowl, because in it the subsidiaries superseded the primary.

So, what is the primary ingredient of tango? Beginners tend to think that's the steps. They are wrong. Like garlic and onion, steps are subsidiary. The key ingredient of tango is the embrace, which decides the basic characteristics of the dance. You dance tango if, and only if, you dance in tango embrace, whether with five or fifty steps.

By embrace I do not mean the open dance hold. Tango, known as the dance of love, is evolved from the real embrace, wherein the couple intimately lean into each other chest against chest, cheek touches cheek, and arms encircle and hold each other tightly. Lovers do not make a hugging gesture without actually touching each other's body. A feigned embrace may look like a real embrace, but the dancers themselves know the difference. Professional performers use open dance hold on stage to facilitate their performance in order to entertain the audience. But social dancers do not tango for that. They tango to enjoy the connection and intimacy for their own pleasure, which is why they use real embrace. This is the fundamental difference between tango and all show dances including stage tango. (See Social Tango and Performance Tango.)

Other dissimilarities all arise from this fundamental difference. For example, unlike other dances in which the dancers rely on their arms and hands to exchange information, in tango communication takes place through direct connection of the torso, which is itself a very sensitive organ, more susceptible to intimation and feeling than the arms and hands. Tango dancers can achieve deeper understanding and better synchronization by using their torsos to lead and follow.

Tango's distinct movements are also associated with the embrace. Because the torsos of the partners are attached in the embrace, tango dancers have to swivel their hips in order to dance around each other. This technique, known as dissociation, is the basis of most tango steps, making tango especially capable of displaying the feminine beauty of women's pliable body. (See Dancing with Hips.)

The intimate embrace also attaches importance to feelings, causing tango to be a feeling-oriented dance. Although formalist dancers have made unremitting efforts to exploit the visual impression of tango, the style that they created cannot satisfy the needs deeply rooted in human nature for connection, intimacy, love and communication of feelings. These needs can only be met through real embrace.

A young woman wrote about the importance of the embrace this way: "From the perspective of a girl, I think tango has two layers. The first layer is also the core layer, which is to keep a comfortable embrace with your partner and let him feel your absolute obedience and sufficient control of yourself. If you can do that, you will be able to survive the milonga even if you can only dance ballroom dances. The second layer is external, that is to pursue the visual beauty like other dances such as ballet, with similar artistic requirements. To put it in another way, ignoring the first layer and focusing only on the second layer is not tango. In most cases, if you can integrate some second layer techniques into a solid first layer foundation, your tango will be quite stunning already."

I appreciate this young woman's insight. Consequently tango becomes a simple and easy dance for her. Although we cannot dance tango without the steps, the essence of tango lies in the embrace. Dancers shouldn't compromise embrace for the sake of steps. Rather, they should keep the embrace intimate and comfortable at all time throughout the dance and use the steps to facilitate the embrace, thus put the embrace and steps in a correct order.

Unfortunately, unlike in Argentina, in the US taboos against intimacy between the opposite sexes and liberal ideologies that advocate for women's independence lead to politically correct way of dancing tango. Many women use an open dance hold to replace the embrace. In order not to let their body touch men's body, they lean back, spread men with their arms and hands to keep a distance, or prop their shoulder against men' shoulder, or use their head against men's head to keep their breasts from touching men's chests, resulting in an embrace that is awkward and uncomfortable. Instead of swiveling their hips as they must in close embrace, women using open dance hold tend to turn their whole body, causing the rupture of the embrace and incoherence of the movements. Unlike professional dancers who know how to use right techniques when they perform in open dance hold, novices using open dance hold tend to develop bad habits, such as using arms and hands to help themselves with the movements, dancing without emotional involvement, focusing on personal performance and neglecting the partner, and accustoming themselves to the wrong way of dancing tango that avoids dissociation and intimate communication, etc. That's why I believe learning tango should start with the close embrace style. A beginner should not use the open dance hold associated with performance until she has laid the foundation. Otherwise the bad habits that are developed may not be easy to overcome. I know women who have danced tango for many years but their embrace is still uncomfortable. Such women are like a flower vase, looking good only from a distance but cannot be held in the arms. In another post, Women's Common Mistakes in Tango, I listed thirteen common shortfalls of tango women that are closely related to the subject of this post. The embrace, however, is an even bigger issue, deserving a separate chapter, hence the title.

Here is an example of good embrace in tango dancing.

The Chivalry of the Milongueros

A century ago during Argentina's peak immigration wave, Buenos Aires had a staggering gender imbalance: five men for every woman. Picture this: in a standard milonga, fifty men vied for the chance to dance with just ten women. The odds were stacked against men, leaving many too hesitant to even ask a woman for a dance. Instead, they watched from a distance, waiting for a woman's nod. Only then did they dare to dance with the goddess. That's the origin of cabeceo. (See Women's Role in Cabeceo.) Prior to dancing with a real woman, a man had to spend years to practice with other guys until he had completely grasped the craft. He had to be extremely careful with the woman also, fearing to lose the favor of the goddess if she felt slightest discomfort. This deep appreciation and respect for women have evolved into a distinctive hallmark of the tango culture in Argentina.

With such a gender ratio, the privilege of dancing with a woman was reserved only for men who could genuinely satisfy her, and those who focused solely on themselves had minimal chances against the milongueros who mastered a comfortable embrace, exquisite musicality, and impeccable skill of dancing for women. Laymen may think of milongueros as goof-offs. (See Tango and the Outlook on Life.) But if you think those goddesses, surrounded by a company of admiring soldiers, would pick a mediocre as dance partner, you certainly underestimated the goddesses. Even today, women cast their eyes only on the best. They don't want men who are sloppy, who feel insecure, who do not have a comfortable embrace, whose musicality is poor, who lead with arms and hands, who can't do cabeceo, who don't follow the codes, and who are short in manner, not to mention in those days. Therefore, the milongueros are a group of sophisticated tango elites with superb knowledge and skills on the dance, music, codes, culture, lunfardo and the ways of the milonga world. Like the knights in the medieval Europe who were gallant, honorable, generous, kind, and respectful especially to women, and like the samurais in feudal Japan who were loyal, courageous, simple in living, and preferring death to dishonor, the Argentine milongueros are a group of talented specialists who follow certain tenets also. For them, tango is the religion and milonga codes are not only guild regulations but life principles. One may say that, though without the title, the Argentine milongueros are a comparable class to European knights, Japanese samurais and Chinese literati. Their doctrine is the chivalry, bushido and Confucian orthodoxy of Argentina.

Times have shifted. Today the gender ratio in milongas becomes one man to one point three women. Moreover, the traditional gallantry of milongueros faces criticism from feminists, who encourage women to vie with men for dominance. (See Tango and Gender Equality.) Consequently, men no longer hold the same level of admiration and respect for women as before. Nowadays, even beginners who can't walk stably dare to obligate women to dance with them, using women as foils for their self-centered displays. One has to reckon that a failure of feminism. Feminists thought that the two sexes would be equal if women were strong and aggressive like men, little did they realize that once women lose their femininity, they are no longer the goddesses in men's eyes.

Men and women of today need to draw lessons from history and contemplate their interactions. Masculinity and femininity, resulted from millions of years of human evolution, serve as nature's solution to harmonize the two genders. To ensure the best interests of the human species, it is essential for women to retain their femininity, and men to preserve their affection for women. Gender roles play a crucial part in securing the well-being of the human species. Deranging the natural law that regulates the opposite sexes can lead to devastating repercussions. (See Tango and Gender Relations.) I hope that men continue to value women as they did when the ratio was five men to one woman. I wish for women to refrain from relinquishing their femininity and emulating masculine traits. Tango was created to be a bridge uniting the two sexes. I wish it remains that way. (See Tango and Gender Interdependence.)

Cadencia and the Flow of Tango

When we dance tango our body oscillates as its weight shifts from one foot to the other. The oscillation can be enhanced by accelerating the motion of the body. This technique is called cadencia. It feels like riding back and forth on a swing, creating a cozy rocking feeling for both dancers but especially for the woman, as she is the one snuggled in his arms and be swayed by him. (See Cadencia.)

The man swings the woman to one side and the other alternately. After each swing she swivels her hips and pivots her lower body to allow him to reverse the swing in the opposite direction. (See Dissociation and Gear Effect.) This, in fact, is how ocho is danced. When teaching ocho, tango teachers often emphasize dissociation, or the swivel of the hips, but overlook cadencia, or the swing of the body. However, if you combine the two, it not only adds elegance to the movement, but also creates a swaying sensation that makes the movement even more enjoyable.

Doing cadencia requires some speed and space, or else the body cannot swing freely. That's why experienced dancers like to dance in the flow. When the floor is full of experienced dancers, you can see a counterclockwise flow of people like waves surge forward in correspondence with the music, and the speed of the flow is quite fast. But if there are too many novices on the dance floor, then the speed of flow is slowed down. At times it even becomes like a pool of stagnant water.

Novices who have no sense of flow often stay in place practicing steps, disregarding the people behind them waiting for them to move forward. In an empty room that may cause no problem, but on a crowded dance floor, that could obstruct the traffic. Mark Word calls such people "rocks in the stream." You drive to work in the morning and suddenly there is a slow-moving car blocking your way, that is the same kind of feeling. People dancing on a crowded dance floor must not become such "rocks in the stream." I'm not saying that you cannot slow down or pause for a moment, which experienced dancers also do, but they do so only when the music tells everyone to slow down or when there is enough space. If the dancers behind you are approaching, then you must keep moving to avoid causing obstruction to traffic. This is the code, which all dancers have to follow.

The Characteristics of Classic Tango

Dancing tango is not just stepping to the beat of the music being played - that perhaps is how disco is danced, but not tango. Dancing tango is dancing the sentiment and feelings of the music. Sentimentalism is a notable feature of classic tango. Created by early immigrants to Argentina, tango contains the homesickness and nostalgia of its creators and reflects their thirst for love and longing for a better life. (See Tango: The Historical and Cultural Impacts.) Modern rock bands with electronically amplified instruments might be able to create a more majestic sound, but they can't replicate the lingering sentiment of classic tango. That is not only because electronic instruments are short on expressing the mood of tango, but also because the contemporary rockers lack the experience of the early immigrants. Classic tango is a product of that particular era in Argetina. The environment of its mass production has ceased to exist in modern times, but the human emotions expressed in classic tango are universal and timeless, which people of the contemporary age, especially those struggling at the bottom, can still understand and resonate. (See Why People Dance Tango.) Dancing tango, one should not just dance the steps and ignore the feelings of the music, because only by understanding and resonating with these feelings can one dance tango well.

The feelings expressed in classic tango are the feelings of the men and women of the time, represented by two different but intertwined moods. Classic tango is heterosexual rather than homosexual in nature. It has a rhythm that is masculine - strong, steady，predictable and resolute, and a melody that is feminine - soft, emotional, moody and beautiful. Each note or phrase expresses the strength, courage and determination of men, or tenderness, affection and obedience of women. The two opposite moods intertwine with each other, reflecting the two sexes in the dance. Dancing tango, you have to imagine that you are playing music with your body. The man and the woman are different instruments. One is like the bandoneon, the other is like the violin. One is the passion of the drums, the other the beauty of the melody. One is philosophy, the other poem. Each with a unique sound, expresses a different emotion. Both are indispensable and irreplaceable, and they must collaborate harmoniously and complement each other in order to create a beautiful tango. (See The Gender Expression in Tango.)

Those who deny gender roles do not know what they are doing. (See The Gender Roles in Tango.) The so-called new tango or alternative music promoted by them often lacks an opposite theme. (See The Signature of Tango.) It is either too soft, without a lucid rhythm, or too monotonic, short of rhythmic diversity. In contrast, classic tango is created in line with the characteristics of the dance. Unlike mush soft-music and monotonous march, classic tango not only has a recognizable rhythm but also is rich in syncopation, therefore is very danceable. Syncopation means changing the location of an accented beat by stressing an upbeat, or beginning a tone on an upbeat and continue it through the next downbeat. Syncopation modifies the rhythm and makes it more adaptable to a rich variety of footwork possibilities to express complex emotions. (See Tango Music and Its Daceability.) This feature of classic tango, however, may cause a difficulty for beginners to grasp the rhythm of the song. As a result, some people prefer monotonous alternative music instead. The taste of the beginners will evolve with their education and experience. Tango dancers need to study tango music, understand its emotions and be familiar with its melody, rhythm, tempo, syncopation, pause, extension, etc., in order to dance tango well.

Most classical tango music has a vocal part, which usually is not throughout but appears only in certain parts of the song, as if it is an instrument collaborating with other instruments. The lyrics are commonly written in lunfardo, the old street slang of the lower classes in Buenos Aires, expressing nostalgia, homesickness and the pain of lost love. These are songs of the immigrants. Only old milongueros and a small number of portenos today can fully understand them. Those who do not understand the lyrics may not always feel easy to grasp the syncopated and extended syllables, thus could have a difficulty to follow them. But these beautiful lyrics express delicate feelings and are favored by the milongueros. Many of whom can sing the lyrics and dance to them with facility, which is one of the reasons why the milongueros perceive their dance quite differently from the foreigners. Not understanding the lyrics is a disadvantage of the foreigners, but that is not an insurmountable obstacle. The dancers' education can compensate for their inadequacy in language, because as long as one is willing to listen, the sentiment and emotions of the song can be perceived through the melody, rhythm, tempo, tone and mood of the music. Of course, learning the language can help to better understand the feelings of the songs. By the way, some foreigners understood neither the culture nor the language of tango, but they thought they knew tango better than the milongueros, which to me is arrogant and ridiculous. (See Tango and Gender Equality.)

The Affinity and Harmony between Partners

Tango only happens when the two dancers are immersed in the music and find the connection between them. There cannot be tango between two beginners who don't listen to music, are physically detached, emotionally disconnected, and unable to communicate their feelings. (See Tango Is a Feeling.) They dance like two individuals bickering and disagreeing with each other. In contrast, mature dancers are fully connected. They melt into the music, which moves them, stirs their emotions, resonates with them, and enables them to find the connection. As a result, they dance like two soulmates in perfect agreement. This agreement is what makes tango intoxicating.

What we are looking for in tango is the affinity and harmony between the dancers. A good tango partner doesn't have to be good-looking, but he/she must be a good match so dancing with them makes you feel the chemistry. Novice dancers tend to focus on superficial things like steps and impression. But such external things are superficial. What is essential is the dancer's inner quality: his masculinity, musicality, strength, leadership, protection, thoughtfulness and finesse; her femininity, lightness, flexibility, obedience, agreeableness, adaptability and coordination; and the connection, understanding and harmony between them. Those who pursue vanity and ignore the essence cannot find tango, just like they cannot find love. People often compare tango to love because the two share a common theme. (See A Dance that Teaches People to Love.) They both involve a relationship wherein the two sexes play different roles but complement each other. They both aim at achieving oneness and harmony through commitment, submission, communication, understanding, cooperation and accommodation. A reader, after read my post The Gender Roles in Tango, remarked, "These seem to be applicable to real life relationships as well." Indeed, the concept of tango has a universal value. It reveals the way to achieve oneness and harmony in all kinds of relationships between individuals, genders, social groups, and political parties, etc. (See The Lessons of Tango.)

Beginners need to turn their attention from the external to the internal. Instead of focusing on doing steps, they should focus on being one with each other. Concentrating on steps may cause a dancer to ignore his/her partner, or blame the partner for not dancing well and want to correct him/her, resulting in incoordination. Focusing on being one with the partner, on the other hand, will enable the dancer to work closely with the partner, or even be conceding enough to make him/her feel at home, so that the two may become one in the dance. Tango is like marriage. What makes it work is not pressing your partner to follow your will, but being accommodating and cooperative. Novice women often feel comfortable dancing with a milonguero, not because the novices know their stuff, but because the milonguero knows how to accommodate them. Surrendering, adapting to, and being one with your partner, therefore, are more important than doing steps. (See Tango Is a Relationship.)

Tango Is the Search of a Dream

Tango contains the dream, longing and hope of the early immigrants to Argentina. It is a utopia or refuge where brotherly love, intimacy, fellowship and kindness triumph over animosity, prejudice, hatred and injuries, where peace and harmony are achieved through submission, cooperation and accommodation rather than conflict, antagonism and aggression, where the opposite sexes complement and comfort each other rather than being hostile and belligerent to each other, and where people can enjoy a temporary relief from the pressure and stress of modern day living. (See Tango: The Historical and Cultural Impacts.)

Those who see modernization as progress fail to see its downside. In many ways, modernization is a dehumanization process that transforms people from interconnected and interdependent social beings into self-sufficient, independent individuals. It weakens the natural bonds between people and shifts their attention from their common good to individual interests. The attachment, fraternity, interdependence and mutual responsibilities among people have faded away. Family is falling apart. Family values are lost. The ecological balance is disrupted. Natural resources are depleted. The environment is irreversibly damaged. Egoism, individualism, feminism, division, inequality, polarization, divorce, homosexuality, same-sex marriage, single-parent family, materialism, competition, stress, corruption, violence and crimes become the new norm. In short, humanity has been replaced by so-called modernity. (See Tango and Individualism.)

The popularity of tango in our times is a profound phenomenon. We dream of a society that is equal, fair, friendly, cooperative, orderly and harmonious like a well-organized milonga, not a society that is driven by self-interest and imbued with competition, hostility, injury, stress, madness, inequality, division, and shooting. Those who have blind faith in modernization need to reflect on reality. A blogger wrote, "The world is like water, and humans are like ink. What humans do to the world is like what ink does to water. With the passage of time, ink only makes water muddier, not clearer. Comparing to our postmodern world, the past is simpler, purer, hence better." A woman wrote, "In modern-day life we are centered around our work, which demands aggression. But if we keep being aggressive in our marriage, constantly fighting for self-interest and pushing our partner to make concessions until he gives up, then such marriage can only create unhappy people." Another blogger wrote, "How many American businessmen lie in a hospital bed, after their heart attack, before they look around and ask themselves, 'How did I end up spending my life this way... working too many hours... the love of my life is a stranger, if we haven't divorced... I missed my children growing up because I worked too much... I spent my lifetime, not with my friends, but pursuing financial security... and in the end, I ended up here?'" Indeed, modernization is like a fatal attraction that causes us to lose the essence of being human. What happened to our sanity? Why an intelligent species like us who are able to invent computers, internet and GPS couldn't build a world for ourselves that makes more sense? (See The World Needs a Different Philosophy.)

I believe this universal reflection on modernity versus humanity, this yearning for a balanced life and a harmonious society, is not irrelevant to the revival of tango today. One hundred years ago, immigrants far away from home created this dance in which they placed their dream, a dance full of human spirit and beauty, a dance that highlights connection, fraternity, cooperation and harmony. Today's tango dancers are chasing the same dream, I believe. People who have the fortune to get involved in tango must take the responsibility to preserve this sanctuary for mankind. We not only need to teach people how to dance tango but also promote its values, because without these values, tango, too, will be assimilated by the world. (See How You Dance Matters.)

The Conceptional Beauty of Tango

The unity of form and content holds great significance in tango philosophy. Tango is created out of a human need. (See Why People Dance Tango.) From this need arises beauty, which then leads to a deviation from this need and only pursue beauty, hence the alienation of tango. The admiration for beauty is not without good reasons, otherwise there would not be art. But in the pursuit of art, we must not forget that art is more than just its form. Without the content art loses meaning. A watch that is not accurate is not a good watch, although it may look pretty. A selfish woman is not a good wife, although she may be physically attractive. Tango is the same. You may invent fancy steps, but without the essence of tango it is not good tango.

Novices often judge tango by its look, just as people judge success by possessions. Warren Buffett said, "The truth is, when you come to my age you will understand, success is measured by how many people really care about you and love you. Money doesn't make people rich. What makes us rich is love." You might envy someone's wealth, but in the end you only want to be with a person who truly cares about you, knowing that what's on the inside is more important than what's on the surface. Tango is the same. What makes it gratifying is not its steps but what the steps convey.

Marie Curie said, "If you're not pretty at 17, you can blame your parents for not giving you a pretty face. But if at 30 you still are not pretty, you only have yourself to blame, because in that long period of time you didn't add anything new into yourself." What is truly attractive is one's inner quality. A tango dancer who only values look and ignores feeling is like a parvenus who lives in a big mansion and drives luxury cars but at heart he is still a poor man. What makes a person noble is not his money but upbringing. Formalist dancers and extravagant upstarts are birds of a feather. Arts that stand the test of time, whether painting, music or dance, are those with inherent depth of human spirit rather than just aestheticism. As Mother Teresa once eloquently said: "Hunger does not only mean the need of food, but also the need of love. Cold does not only mean the want of clothing, but also the want of dignity. Homelessness does not only mean without a home, but also the rejection and abandonment by society." What tango quenches is the thirst of the soul. It is not only beautiful in its form, but more so in its content.

This kind of inner beauty is invisible. It exists in the minds, emotions, feelings, characters, relationships and imaginations. In the eyes of a lover his beloved is a beauty. What seems attractive at the first sight may become plain with time, and vice versa. Some people are beautiful because of their intelligence, others because of their charisma. Certain beauty can only be appreciated by the heart and not the eyes, such as poem, music, love and friendship. A tango can stir up different feelings because what people hear may not be the song, but their own emotions. Everything seems bright when the heart is shiny, and gloomy when the heart is clouded. The past is more splendid in memory than it was in reality, and so is the future in the vision. All these suggest that beauty is not just a form but also a subjective feeling.

Ultimate beauty is conceptional, transcending the visual boundaries and allowing the mind to fly in the realm of imagination. Tango is not primarily a visual art but art of feeling and consciousness. In tango you can close your eyes and follow your intuition. You can't see how your partner dances, only feel his/her embrace, touch, move, and through which his/her emotions, feelings, temperament and personality. His masculinity, strength, dependability, support, protection, thoughtfulnes and finesse, her femininity, softness, obedience, affection, seduction and tacit agreement, all are but feelings. Even his/her musicality and quality of dance are conceived through the sense. Tango provides plenty room for imagination. Dancing tango is like attending a banquet of feelings. Its beauty is largely conceptional rather than visual. (See Tango Is a Feeling.)

It is regretful that formalist dancers focus only on the visible and ignore the invisible. What makes tango unique is its conceptional beauty. Tango has great potentials in this area. Exploring its inner beauty so that tango may become an even richer emotional feast is a worthy goal. Although it is natural for beginners to focus on the external, as comprehension proceeds from the outside to the inside and from the shallow to the deep, my aspiration is that this process can be shortened, so that when you come to the age of Warren Buffett, Marie Curie and Mother Teresa, you would not regret for what you have missed out in your pursuit of vanity. Isn't that often the case beyond tango? (See The Psychology in Tango.)