The Gender Roles in Tango

In tango, each partner assumes a distinct role associated with their gender. Gender roles are disrupted when, for example, the woman refuses to surrender, leans back to distance herself from the man, resists his lead through disobedience, neglects her responsibility to ensure his comfort, interferes with his guidance, or initiates her own steps. Similarly, the man violates his role when he fails to protect the woman, coerces her with force, focuses solely on the steps rather than the music, or prioritizes his own display over hers. Regrettably, such behaviors are all too common in our tango.

One reason for this is we don't teach gender roles. Unlike in Argentina, in this country we do not use the words "men" and "women" in our tango instructions. Instead, we use the generic terms "leaders" and "followers," and we allow either gender to play either role with absolutely no understanding of what that role is about and how to embody it. While this approach appears politically correct, it does not provide students with an understanding of the roles they are playing. We focus solely on the mechanics of the dance, and fail to train students to function as men or women, to be masculine or feminine, and to be attractive to the opposite sex. There is a lack of gender expression, flirtation, seduction, intimacy, and emotional interactions in our tango. As a result, our tango becomes a gender-neutral dance.

However, in Argentina where men are much more masculine and women are much more feminine, tango is exactly the opposite of a gender-neutral play. Argentine tango is a passionate and elaborate celebration of masculinity and femininity. It accentuates rather than diminishes the differences between the sexes. It fulfills the innate human desire for connection between opposites, facilitated through intimate physical and emotional interactions. It is a soulful, sensual, and seductive dance.

Despite the current trend in the US to challenge traditional gender roles, one fact remains unchanged: no one can be at their best against their nature. The reality is that a woman's natural physical traits, such as being shorter, lighter, softer, and more delicate, make it challenging for her to take on the role of the leader. She simply cannot be as strong and reliable as the leader must be and function as a man must function to a woman, regardless of how technically knowledgeable she is on leading. Conversely, a man's taller, heavier, and more robust build makes it difficult for him to assume the follower's role. He simply cannot be as light and flexible as the follower must be and function as a woman must function to a man, regardless of how technically knowledgeable he is on following (see Tango and Gender Interdependence). Tango is not merely about leading and following; it is an intricate interplay between the masculine and the feminine. Without these inherent qualities, tango loses its beauty, charm, richness, and depth.

So, what are the roles of men and women in tango and how different their roles are?

Men in general are taller, heavier, stronger, and physically more reliable than women. Additionally, men have a psychological disposition that differs from women as a result of millions of years of human evolution through natural selection. This includes a drive to take initiative, subdue, conquer, exert control, and protect loved ones. Accordingly, men assume the masculine role in tango, as they do in life. The following are some of the functions associated with the male role in tango.

1. Leading the woman. For the couple to dance in unison and harmony, their actions must agree. For that to happen, only one of them can take the lead and the other must follow. In tango, the man leads the woman. He does so not by using force, but by showing an intention with his torso of how he wants her to move, which she in his embrace can feel. He then matches her response to complete the lead.

2. Plotting the dance. In tango, the man is more strategic, while the woman is more tactical. The man dances around the dance floor, and the woman dances around the man (see Dancing around the Man). The woman may beautify the dance with her flexible body and colorful footwork, but she cannot plot the dance and change the choreography. That responsibility lies in the man, who must make the dance well-arranged and interesting so that it can bring the woman's feminine beauty into full play.

3. Supporting her. In tango, women's delicacy and dependence are compensated and satisfied by men's strength, which is one of the reasons why tango attracts women. Although she is liable for her own balance and stability, in actual dancing she often needs his help. The man must be the pillar for her, supporting her with his body to keep her stable in dancing. He must be as solid as a refrigerator. The unsteadiness on his part will shake her trust and affect her dance.

4. Leading her to dance to music. The man's musicality is the most important element in leading. He must dance the music and not the steps. He must stir up her emotions and get her resonate with the music. He should not only think about the steps and forget about the music. He should not focus only on his own timing and forget about hers. Rather, he should focus on timing her movements even that might mean he is a bit off beat himself when necessary, because he dances for her. His job is to make her totally enjoy the music and the dance.

5. Shining her. A gentleman lets the woman shine in his company. He leads her to dance in such a way that fully reveals her feminine beauty (see Revealing Her Beauty in Tango). He makes her, rather than himself, the center of attention. He does not show off his skills for self-glorification and leave her eclipsed (see Partner-Centered Leading vs. Self-Centered Leadingd).

6. Protecting her. A gentleman takes his protective role seriously. He respects the line of dance, complies with navigation rules, keeps a proper distance from other dancers, halts when necessary and does not run into people. He prevents his partner from being bumped, kicked or stepped by others. He does not lead steps that may hurt her or others (see Spot Dancing in Tango).

7. Pampering her. It is not manly to be rude and savage to women. A gentleman treats the woman with respect, appreciation and attentiveness. He holds her tenderly like holding a bay in his arms. He leads her gently, carefully, patiently and protectively. He makes her feel pampered in his arms and fully enjoy dancing with him (see Men's Common Mistakes in Tango).

In contrast, women typically lack the physical build and strength of men, with a smaller stature, lighter weight, and softer, more flexible features that are often associated with beauty and delicacy. Women's psychology also differs from men's due to their reproductive nature, including a desire for beauty (to attract a mate), affection, protection, and security, which are also the result of natural selection. Accordingly, women take on the feminine role in tango, as they do in life. The following are some of the functions associated with the female role in tango.

1. Complete surrender. The woman must entrust herself to the man. She must let go her ego, relax her body, be obedient, and move in harmony with him. By her surrender she dispels his misgiving and gives him permission to be her leader. Just like when a baby is born the young parents suddenly become grownups, she makes him a man by being a woman (see Tango and Trust).

2. Following his lead. She must be calm and unhurried, wait for his signal to tell her how to move, and follow the lead one step at a time. She must not act on her own, initiate the step, or interfere with his lead. While being obedient, however, she must be an active part of the dance. Following is not passively responding. It is a dynamic action that takes wit, ingenuity and creativeness (see Activity and Passivity in Tango).

3. Being light and agile. She must make herself light and easy for the man to lead her. She must not put too much weight on him and become his burden. She must keep her own balance and not grab or hang on him for stability. She must not resist him, do her own thing, or wrestle with him. She must be proactive, sensitive and responsive to his lead at all time, and she must move agilely (see Balance and Lightness).

4. Dancing to music. Women in general are more intuitive, which makes it possible for them to focus on the music instead of the lead. The man does his part to lead the woman to dance to music, but his interpretation may not always accurately represent the music. For two partners to dance as one in sync to music, the woman must also do her part to express the music. A good follower can dance to music creatively while remain in perfect agreement and harmony with the man.

5. Complementing the man. As his partner she must work closely with him, help bring out his strengths, and compensate for his weaknesses. She excites him with her femininity, and dances in such a way that is light, inspiring and contagious. She supports him when he loses balance, keeps the beat when he is off time, slows him down if he rushes, and warns him if he is to run into someone. She helps maintain the coherence and integrity of the dance.

6. Beautifying the dance. Women's slender, light, soft and flexible body makes them natural decorators in tango. The man leads the dance, but it is the woman who shines the dance with her elegant posture, graceful movements, dexterous footwork, and colorful embellishments. A good follower, however, does not interfere with the lead. She remains in unison and harmony with the man while beautifying the dance.

7. Being a woman. The woman must dance as a woman, not impassive robot. She must dance with passion and feelings. She must make the man feel comfortable holding her in his arms and enjoy her presence. She must willingly show her softness, gentleness, affaction, and seduction. She understands that her femininity and attraction are the reason why he enjoys dancing with her rather than a man. By being a woman, she can bring out the best in a man and be rewarded fully as a result.

In conclusion, gender roles, embedded in the nature of this dance, play a vital role in tango, and should not be dismissed. The distinctions between masculine and feminine roles reflect the biological, psychological, and emotional differences between the sexes. This duality enhances the beauty, charm, richness, and depth of tango. Attempts to neutralize or reverse these roles, although professedly politically correct, violate human nature and undermine the essence and value of the dance, therefore are not beneficial to tango (see The Gender Expression in Tango).