Achieving Comfortable Arm and Hand Position in Close Embrace

In close embrace, the man's left elbow and the woman's right elbow are bent at approximately 75 degrees, allowing their hands to meet at shoulder height. The natural position of their hands has the palms facing their own body centers, with thumbs on top and little fingers on the bottom. However, this positioning prevents their hands from clasping properly—they need to face each other to interlock. Initially, both partners may adjust their hand positions to accommodate one another, but during dancing, men often unconsciously revert to facing their palms inward, causing the woman's hand to twist outward uncomfortably.

To prevent this issue, the man must keep his palm facing the woman instead of toward his body center. He can also extend his left arm outward rather than keeping it raised in front of his shoulder—this naturally orients his palm toward the woman. Alternatively, the partners may avoid clasping hands altogether. The woman can instead place the lower part of her palm on his upturned palm or allow him to hold the back of her hand. This eliminates any twisting or discomfort in her right hand.

The man should lead with his torso rather than relying on his arms and hands. He must keep his arms and hands completely relaxed to avoid unconsciously using them to guide movements. If the woman feels that her hand is being held too tightly, she should signal the man to adjust his grip rather than waiting until the dance is over to mention it. It’s common for dancers to have habits that the other finds uncomfortable. Communication is essential, and both partners should work together to adapt and accommodate each other during the dance.

Many women, especially those who haven't yet learned to relax, wrap their left arm tightly around the man's right arm, not realizing that this puts weight on his arm, restricting its movement and making him feel heavy and uncomfortable. This positioning also shifts their body to the right side of the man, reducing sensitivity to subtle changes in his body position, which is one of the reasons women fail to do the cruzada.

The proper embrace is symmetrical, with the two partners facing each other chest-to-chest. His left hand and her right hand hold at shoulder height, his right arm wraps around her body, and her left arm hooks over his right shoulder, so the two are perfectly aligned. This correct embrace is not only the most intimate and comfortable for both partners, but it also allows the woman to sense subtle changes in the man's body position, so when he walks on her right, she will naturally reposition her body with the cruzada to put her body back in alignment with him (see Why Women Fail to Do Cruzada).

Tango, as an intimate, feeling-oriented dance, must be danced in the most comfortable and communicable embrace. Dancers should not just go with their own habits or social preconception and ignore the comfort of their partner. A proper embrace, as described above, is one that is the most comfortable for both parties. Although this embrace may not align with someone's personal preference, dancers must accommodate each other, even put their partner's needs before their own. For beginners, this is often the first hurdle they have to overcome.