Floorcraft, Choreography, and Musicality

We dance tango counterclockwise along the line of dance, but our path is rarely straight. Instead, it weaves through a dynamic sequence of forward and backward steps, side shifts, and intricate turns.

Many students regard floorcraft as little more than a set of traffic rules: stay in your lane, avoid frequent lane changes, move with the flow, maintain safe distances, refrain from spot dancing that blocks others, and avoid hazardous maneuvers. While these guidelines are essential for safety, floorcraft transcends mere etiquette. It is part of choreography—as composition is in writing—an art form in its own right.

If our legs were brushes, they would paint patterns on the floor—neat or crooked, vigorous or graceful, beautiful or awkward—much like strokes in a piece of calligraphy. This dance-calligraphy is not only spatial, defined by directional movements, but also temporal, shaped by variations in pace, speed, and rhythm. A dancer may have excellent technique, yet their choreography can still fall short of artistry. Consider the following example:

These students demonstrate technical competence—their embrace, posture, and footwork are solid. Yet they dance with a sense of urgency, chasing the beat without attuning to the music’s mood, phrasing, or structure. Their movements lack pause, suspension, and nuance; emotional expression is scarcely present.

Dancing tango is not simply about executing steps—it is about embodying the music. The steps are instruments, not the destination. Tango music has its own architecture, and to truly express it, dancers must respond to its phrasing, emotion, and structure—not march mechanically to every beat. Like any art form, dance thrives on balancing various elements. Writing depends on punctuation, painting on negative space, calligraphy on margins—and tango on suspension. Stillness adds depth. Silence sometimes speaks louder than words. Pause, slow motion, and pose are not embellishments; they are essential elements of tango’s expressive vocabulary. (See Pauses: Tango’s Most Underestimated Technique.)

When it comes to the temporal dimension of choreography—musicality—we can learn a great deal from the milongueros.

As you can see, the milongueros dance with deliberate timing. Rather than chasing every beat, they incorporate pauses and slow motion, responding to the music’s phrasing and sentiment rather than merely its rhythm. This approach makes their dancing more expressive, engaging, and profound.

The choreography of a dance is primarily the responsibility of the leader. The woman’s role is to harmonize with the leader and add beauty and refinement, but not to dictate the structure or tempo of the dance. Too often, a leader becomes so absorbed in leading steps that he neglects to shape the choreography artistically. Of course, this does not mean that the woman has no influence. Sometimes the couple rush because the woman dances hastily, leaving the man little choice but to rush with her.

Floorcraft teaches us how to share space orderly; choreography teaches us how to organize movement aesthetically; musicality teaches us how to inhabit time consciously. When space, movement, and time harmonize，tango becomes a living art, a shared enjoyment, and a truly immersive experience (see Dance Like Milongueros).

From Steps to Feelings

How Tango Is Danced in Buenos Aires

Many Europeans and Americans dance tango differently than Argentines. For years, I sought a video that authentically captures how tango is danced in Argentina, aiming to change people's perceptions. However, I found it challenging to locate one. Most tango videos are produced by those focusing on their own interpretations of the dance. The few that portray authentic Argentine tango are often poorly crafted or marred by distractions. The overwhelming presence of foreigners makes it difficult to film a truly porteño milonga. Recently, I discovered a video by Paul Holman that, in my view, beautifully represents an indigenous milonga.

I appreciate this video not only for its clarity, lighting, and cinematography but also for the producer's insightful perspective. Holman understood that tango is about intimacy, connection, and surrender. He recognized that steps and footwork are secondary, that milonga codes are essential, and that capturing the essence of tango means avoiding distractions. His work allows viewers to sense the atmosphere of a truly exceptional milonga. I've been watching this video a lot lately—just to absorb that soulful scene and remind myself of how one should dance and behave in a milonga.

How Tango Is Danced in Europe and North America

In contrast, tango in Europe and North America often reflects a very different perception. Here's an example from a local milonga.

Dancers often approach tango not to relish the music and share a connection but rather to practice their steps. While many understand that tango is an intimate dance and come hoping to experience that connection, many opt for an open or semi-open hold, distancing themselves from one another and focusing solely on the steps instead of engaging with their partners.

To be fair, this situation is not the worst. You can tell it’s a developing tango community, with some dancers already demonstrating promising skills. However, most remain beginners who haven’t yet mastered the embrace and rely heavily on their arms and hands to lead and follow. Many are rehearsing what they’ve just learned, resulting in emotional detachment, and only a few truly dance to the music. The lack of adherence to milonga codes is apparent—such as verbal invitations, wearing ornaments that rub against their partners, blocking traffic, remaining on the floor during the cortina, and talking loudly over the music. While the music is traditional, it isn’t particularly engaging. Overall, the event feels disorganized. Despite a few moments of better dancing, the milonga as a whole lacks both appeal and satisfaction. Sadly, this is typical of most tango scenes in Europe and North America today.

Another Common Euro-American Tango Scene

Among young people, another type of tango scene is prevalent.

Young dancers often feel compelled to expend energy and express their uniqueness through unconventional approaches. By using an open hold instead of the embrace, they can perform flashy steps. Some have become quite skilled at this style, yet it resembles competitive or athletic dance forms more than social tango. Personally, I struggle to see how this way of dancing tango can provide the same enjoyment as the feeling-oriented milonguero style. I wish there were better reasons why some people insist on this approach when there is clearly a better alternative, aside from a desire to show off, have obstacles, or don't know better. As far as comfort, soulfulness, indulgence, and gratification are concerned, there is truly no comparison.

It’s natural for young people to question traditions. However, when this questioning turns into a rejection of wisdom simply for the sake of being different, it can seem naïve. Older dancers were once young and rebellious too. In fact, many seasoned milongueros can perform Nuevo-style steps better than today’s youth. They stopped because, over time, they gained a deeper understanding—one that many young dancers, with their limited experience, have yet to attain. Most young people learn tango from their peers, who in turn learned from theirs; they simply don’t know another way to dance tango. Once exposed to the milonguero approach, most will abandon their previous style and follow suit.

This Is How Milongueros Emerge

After more than thirty years of trial and error since 1983, some dancers in Europe and North America have begun to move away from exhibitionism, shifting their focus toward the embrace, music, and feelings. As a result, scenes like the following have started to emerge.

Here, the embrace and connection become closer and more intimate. The movements are more feeling-oriented. The steps are simpler, more musical, and more elegant. The milonga is better organized, and antisocial behaviors are less common. Although showy footwork still appears, the embrace still breaks at times, hand use remains habitual for some, music choices are still more dramatic than sentimental, and hastiness still prevails, progress is evident. Such transformations certainly could not occur without struggle, given the strong Western traditions of liberalism, individualism, feminism, and the legacy of the hippie movement. Yet, the dancers in this video demonstrate that change is possible, offering reassurance that there is still hope in tango, in humanity, and in our capacity to adapt.

How Social Tango Should Be Danced

I encourage you to watch Holman’s video again, this time with fresh eyes. The following is an edited version. Pay attention to how the milongueros and milongueras adhere to milonga codes—from seating and making eye contact to using the cabeceo, dancing, and ultimately escorting the woman back to her seat. If you’re curious about the steps they use to maintain such harmony, observe those dancing in the background. But nothing too fancy, really. Their tango is not about the steps.

Their focus is entirely on the music and the feeling—so much so that the steps seem almost irrelevant. For them, dancing tango is about enjoying emotion and intimacy, rather than performing tricks. They dance with complete relaxation, an unhurried pace, subtle movements, and tasteful suspensions. Their steps are simple, unpretentious, and serve only to maintain their unity with their partner. The beauty of their tango lies in the connection and synchronization, not in individual performance. Even their music selections are more sentimental and intriguing than what we often encounter, perfectly matching the tone of their dance.

Watch the woman especially. Her ability to stay attuned to her partner is extraordinary. She leans into him comfortably, her chest gently pressed against his, her arm resting around his shoulder. Her eyes are closed in bliss, fully immersed in the sensations stirred by the music and the whispers of her partner’s body. Her discreet footwork seamlessly keeps her body in harmony with his movements, no matter how he turns.

To tango is to indulge yourself, not to impress others. On a crowded dance floor, who cares about your footwork anyway? What truly matters is the feeling you experience. This is why performance tango doesn’t make sense in the milonga. I hope Holman’s video inspires more American dancers to embrace the milonguero style of tango and accelerates the transformation of our tango from a step-oriented dance to a feeling-oriented one.

P.S.

I've received several comments about my choice of videos and now better understand why political correctness has become a necessity today. Please note: these videos are intended only to illustrate a broader phenomenon. They are neither intended to represent nor capable of capturing the full picture of any community or event.

Women's Walk in Tango

The tango walk is performed in a close embrace by two dancers in a chest-to-chest posture. The man walks forward while the woman steps backward, and they must maintain matching alignment, CBM (Contra Body Movement), dissociation, timing, and pace in perfect coordination, balance, elegance, and harmony. Many students struggle with the work because they lack the required stability, flexibility, and technique. Their posture and habits fall short of tango standards. Their legs and feet are not strong enough to sustain balance, and their individual practices conflict with one another, leading to instability and disharmony in their walk.

There are more exercises designed for women than men in tango, just as there are more fashions, shoes, jewelry and cosmetics designed for women than men. This is not surprising given the significance of beauty to women and the fact that, while men lead women, it's women who beautify the dance. How women walk, therefore, matters more than how men walk in tango. (See The Gender Roles in Tango.)

Muscle Development
To walk well in tango, it's essential to develop the muscles that allow your feet to suck the floor and stay grounded. While dancing a lot helps, targeted exercises can be highly effective. One exercise that I found particularly helpful is demonstrated by Vanessa Gauch in the following video.

When practiced slowly, this exercise can effectively build foot muscles and improve stability and elegance. The routine can be broken down into six steps: (1) Stand on one leg, stretching the other leg forward. (2) Shift your weight forward so it rests on the heel of the front foot and the toes of the back foot. (3) Rock your weight back and forth a few times in this position. (4) Transfer your weight fully onto the front leg. (5) Start the next step by swiveling the hips to move the leg—this adds feminine grace to women's walk. (6) Repeat the sequence with the opposite leg.

Walking Backward
In tango, women mostly walk backward, which is not natural and thus takes a lot of practice to master. The following video, demonstrated also by Vanessa Gauch, can help you understand how it should be done.

Walk in Leaning Position
The type of embrace greatly influences the walk. Walking in close embrace, or an A-shaped frame, differs significantly from walking in open embrace, or an H-shaped frame. A woman using an open dance hold cannot extend her leg back far enough because, without leaning on her partner, it is difficult to maintain balance on one leg while the other leg stretches as far back as possible. Here is an example.

The two teachers are competent dancers, I believe, but the H-shaped frame hindered their performance. In contrast, walking in a close embrace provides greater stability and elegance, as demonstrated by Jennifer Bratt and Ney Melo in the following video.

Note that Jennifer leans on Ney with an increased incline. She slightly bends her standing leg and incorporates a bit of dissociation—tilting her hips upward and downward to allow the free leg to extend further back. Rather than using the ball of the foot, she touches the floor with her big toe. Additionally, her leg is swayed slightly sideways from the hip, in contrast to the forward walk, where the leg is swayed toward the center, as demonstrated in the first video. All these elements contribute to a distinctly feminine touch.

Hip Sway
Experienced tangueras use the hip, rather than the thigh, to initiate leg movement. Here is a good example danced by Mariana Montes and Sebastian Arce:

While their style is too exhibitionist to suit the milonga, in my humble opinion, the opening walk (0:15–0:28) is absolutely gorgeous, appropriate in social dancing, and worth studying. The walk is done in close embrace that enables Mariana to stretch her leg far. Her beautiful hip sway, with a subtle dissociation and very straight leg line, contributes to the unequivocal beauty and elegance of her walk. Note that her leg is also swayed slightly sideways as a result of using the hip to move the leg.

Balance and Lightness
As comfortable as it is to lean on your partner, it is crucial to stay light and avoid placing too much weight on him. To achieve this, you need to maintain your own balance by slightly bending your standing leg when you extend the free leg back, as explained by Vanessa and demonstrated by Jennifer and Mariana. This ensures that most of your weight is supported by your standing leg rather than your partner. Additionally, this technique allows you to extend your free leg farther. Personally, I found that when a woman leans lightly with her chest rather than heavily with her stomach on me, she becomes lighter.

Pushing with the Standing Leg
You stretch your free leg back as far as possible while leaning on you partner until the big toe touches the floor. At that point, you should not simply wait for your partner to push you. Instead, activate yourself by pushing with your standing leg. This small action adds lightness and responsiveness to your walk. However, be careful not to push so hard that you lose torso contact with your partner. Apply just enough force to make yourself feel light while preserving the connection.

Walking with Straight Knees
Many beginners walk with bent knees, which looks inelegant. While the standing leg should bend slightly to support the backward extension, the free leg must remain straight until the weight is fully transferred. Moving the leg from the hip—not the thigh—helps maintain this straightness and adds elegance to the walk.

Contra Body Movement (CBM)
CBM is the natural rotation of the torso toward the moving leg. For example, when the man steps forward with his left leg, his torso naturally rotates to the left, while the woman's torso simultaneously rotates to the right as she steps backward with her right leg. The same applies in reverse. Maintaining synchronized CBM is crucial for stability and harmony in walking.

Dissociation
Dissociation refers to the independent rotation of the upper body relative to the lower body, or vice versa. When your partner walks beside you, you should keep your torso oriented toward him while maintaining your hips aligned with the direction of travel. If he switches to your opposite side, you must adjust the orientation of your torso accordingly. When he leads you to change direction, you should rotate your hips to align with the direction of travel while preserving the torso connection.

Alignment
When walking backward in the parallel system, the free leg should travel in line with the hip, not across the standing leg. Crossing distorts your line and affects balance. Even walking in the cross system, excessive crossing will cause a winding path. Instead, keep the hip rotation minimal—you are simply walking backward along the line of dance in the cross system, not performing a back ocho. Overturning the hips can disrupt stability.

Synchronization
Tango walking is a synchronized movement. The two partners walk not as independent individuals but as one cohesive unit. Their legs must start, travel, and arrive together with exactly the same timing and pace. The woman should closely mirror the man's movements and avoid landing her foot too early, before he completes his step. A common issue is that she walks on her own and lands her foot on the floor before he lands his foot, causing him to step on her toes. The correct way is to hold your free leg extended, allowing the man to push you, along with the push of your own standing leg, so that the moving legs land on the floor at the same time and with the same pace.

The Key to Improve Your Dance
Walking is not just a part of tango—it is the foundation. Your walk defines your tango. All other steps are variations of the walk. For a woman, elegant walk is a guaranteed eye catcher and proof of her ability. By learning to walk elegantly, your tango can be improved in more ways than you can imagine. (See Walk.)

The Age Prejudice in Tango

A few years ago, a friend of mine made a comment in a personal email after she read one of my blog articles. Although I've kept the content private out of respect for her concerns at the time, I think it’s now appropriate to “declassify” it. My last post, How to Get More Invitations in the Milongas, generated a call for discussion on the men’s role in the issue, which is exactly what her comment addresses. Here is her comment:

“I read your blog article with interest and agree with everything you say, but I'd like to comment on one aspect of behavior related to tango that you didn’t mention. I'm making this comment privately rather than publicly because, from bitter experience, I know how annoyed it makes men to hear what I think on this subject. It has to do with men’s attitudes at milongas regarding whom they choose to dance with—and men in Argentina are even worse than men in America about this.

Most men feel entitled to dance only with women they are personally attracted to and who, they think, will enhance their image. I can understand not wanting to dance with women who are poor dancers or unpleasant people, but this is seldom the case. Men tend to ignore women who aren’t sufficiently attractive or young, even if they are good dancers and even if they have friendly relationships with them. Women can sit out tanda after tanda, surrounded by men they know who otherwise treat them kindly, but who will ask every other woman around to dance while ignoring those they deem undesirable as romantic prospects or status symbols on the dance floor.

When this subject is broached, men often get very angry, or if a woman shows her disappointment while sitting alone, they resent the implication that they owe anyone anything or that they’ve failed in courtesy or generosity. Then they blame the women, calling them bad sports or accusing them of unfair demands. We're all taught that milongas are social gatherings, and the idea of the tango community is emphasized. Yet, while most women will dance with men they don’t particularly enjoy dancing with to be civil and avoid hurting anyone’s feelings, almost no men will go out of their way to help a woman enjoy herself at a milonga unless they personally want to dance with her. I think that the integrity and social concern you rightly address should include more compassion in partner choice.

At every milonga I've ever attended, I see women suffering silently as they sit unasked among friends and acquaintances, not to mention strangers, while young, attractive beginners are asked constantly. My own gray hair has put me in this position all too often, and in Buenos Aires, I was even told that if I wanted men to dance with me, I should dye my hair or wear a wig because men don’t want to be associated with aging women on the dance floor. This chronic macho selfishness is tango’s biggest drawback for women, and it’s a deep source of sorrow for more women than you might imagine.”

I have to admit, guilt washed over me as I read her comment, realizing that until then, I had never truly considered the depth of impact men's behavior—including my own—can have on women. While many view the milonga as a refuge, it is often a bittersweet space where men and women come together to tango, yet, too often, our enjoyment of the dance is hampered by our own prejudice, arrogance, and selfishness.

I can’t argue with human nature. Men are attracted to young, beautiful, and alluring women, just as women are drawn to young, handsome, and attractive men; and we all tango for pleasure. However, we must not let this instinct cloud our judgment. A tango partner is not a life partner. Whether they are young, pretty, or fertile is irrelevant. What matters is their knowledge, understanding, musicality, discernment, skills, and maturity as a tango dancer. These qualities take years, even decades, of dedicated study, practice, and education to cultivate. Tango is an adult dance. Most people take it up only after establishing a career or raising a family. By the time they truly understand it, they are no longer young. That is why milongueros and milongueras tend to be older, yet in the milongas of Buenos Aires, they are revered. Young Argentine dancers consider it an honor to share a tanda with them, and tango enthusiasts from around the world travel to Buenos Aires for the same privilege.

In the U.S., the first and second generations of tango dancers are now reaching their senior years, as the revival of tango that began in 1983 has spanned more than three decades. But unlike in Argentina, here senior dancers often face ageism. At a recent event I attended, out of over a hundred participants, about a dozen older women sat largely ignored. Encouraged by the organizer, I decided to dance with them—and it turned out to be a truly enriching experience. All these women were excellent dancers, with most having danced tango for more than ten years. This experience taught me a valuable lesson about the naivety of bias against older dancers.

I’m not suggesting that all older dancers are exceptional, nor do I advocate for “charity” dances. But I believe ageism in tango is unjustified, especially considering that older dancers often have significantly more experience than their younger counterparts—and that there are far more skilled tangueros and tangueras among older dancers than among younger ones. It’s in your own best interest to move beyond age-based judgments and to avoid conflating tango with courtship. In my experience, women in their fifties, sixties, and seventies are often among the finest social dancers. Younger men, in particular, shouldn’t miss the opportunity to dance with them.

Mature women may not appear as fresh or sexy as younger ones, but their embrace, connection, musicality, communication, and coordination are often far superior. Through years of practice, they have developed a deeper understanding of tango—something that younger dancers, lacking such experience, have yet to attain. This is especially true given how long it can take to overcome the social, cultural, ideological, and technical barriers that inhibit expressive dancing—something mature dancers are uniquely positioned to transcend. Dancing with them gives younger dancers access to an entirely new perspective on tango—an experience they should not miss. (See For Milongueras.)

How to Get More Invitations in the Milongas

1. Be an Active Participant, Not a Passive Bystander

Imagine going fishing without bait or movement—you won’t catch much. The same applies to tango. Many women miss out on invitations simply because they sit passively, waiting to be noticed. But attraction requires action. Most men need some form of encouragement before approaching, especially considering that, according to the Myers-Briggs organization, 54.1% of American men are introverts, compared to 47.5% of women. If you expect invitations without engaging, you may be waiting a long time. (See Activity and Passivity in Tango).

2. Study Men's Behavior

Women who receive more invitations aren’t just lucky—they pay attention to how men behave: where they sit, how they make invitations, whether they use cabeceo or verbal cues, and whether they are social or shy. Too often, women miss these subtleties while ingaging in talking, checking their phones, or staring off into space. In contrast, proactive dancers are keen observers. They identify potential dance partners, understand their invitation styles, and position themselves strategically to increase their chances of being invited.

3. Be Aware of the Signals You're Sending

Men react much more positively to women who express interest than to women who show no interest. If you pay attention to a man, he will likely reciprocate. If you ignore him, it sends the opposite message. A courteous man will never impose—he acts based on the signs you give. Be conscious of the cues you’re sending, as they can determine whether or not you get an invitation.

4. Acknowledge Men's Attention When It's Given

Don't occupy yourself with things that may prevent men from inviting you: chatting, eating, reading, using your phone, being unchanged, or forming tight social cliques. Instead, show that you are available and ready. Pay attention to men who are watching you, and respond accordingly. Don't be afraid of showing your desire to dance. I’ve often danced with women simply because they looked at me invingly, while others remained distant or indifferent.

5. Change Your Attitude

Don’t underestimate the emotional risk men take in asking for a dance. Rejection can be humiliating, and many will not attempt again. Understand the courage it takes to make an invitation, especially in a public space. If you respond coldly or dismissively, you discourage not just one man but others who observe. Empathy and kindness keep your social doors open—even if you decline a dance, how you do it matters.

6. Be Friendly and Easygoing

Many women lament their lack of dances without reflecting on their own demeanor. Indifference, evasive eyes, or a haughty expression can push potential partners away. Warmth is magnetic. Smile, show enthusiasm, and be genuinely approachable. These simple acts dramatically increase your chances of being invited.

7. Make Eye Contact

Men often roam the floor, not aimlessly, but scanning for reactions. If you ignore them, they’ll assume you’re not interested. If you make eye contact, you signal that you want to dance. Eye contact is essential—it paves the way for an invitation.

8. Let Go of Pride

Pride is often the reason many women appear aloof. In Buenos Aires, when a man approaches a table of women, every woman at that table watches him with eager interest. In the U.S., shaped by a culture that prizes self-esteem and independence, women tend to respond differently—they remain impassive, waiting for men to make the first move. While culturally understandable, this stance undermines the dynamic of the milonga. In tango, a blank expression can be interpreted as disinterest or rejection. Tango women could learn from children—open, curious, unburdened by ego, and naturally inclined to connect with others.

9. Widen Your Circle

Some women reject unfamiliar men because they assume those dancers aren’t good enough. Women who hold this bias tend to only dance with men they know. However, this assumption is often wrong. Most people seek partners of similar level. If you are good and he wants to dance with you, he likely is not too bad either despite his humble appearance. By expanding your horizons, you will experience, learn and enjoy the dance much more.

10. Master the Art of Cabeceo

Women must learn to do cabeceo because this is the way, and often the only way, experienced tangueros use to invite a woman. A sophisticated tanguero does not oblige you to dance. He seeks your eye across the room. If you exchange eye contact with him, he will nod at you to invite you. If you sit there like a dummy, that shows you're not interested and he will turn to someone else. Only novice men will force their way to your seat and ask you to dance. By using cabeceo, you not only get more dances, but better ones.

11. Take the Initiative

Some of the most satisfying dances come from experienced tangueros, but they won’t always make the first move. They wait for your eye contact, and if you avoid their gaze, you’ll miss your chance. Don’t let pride or self-doubt hold you back. A great dancer doesn’t need a perfect partner—they care more about connection than display. Confidence is compelling. When you dare to meet their eyes, you may be surprised by what you receive in return.

12. Hold Eye Contact Longer

Some women make eye contact briefly to avoid showing desperation. They may think that a glance is enough to call a man's attention. However, that's not how men think. They need clarity. If you look away too soon, they’ll interpret it as rejection. You need to hold your gaze at them. Only if nothing happens after a few seconds should you then turn away (see Tango Etiquette: Talking, Eye Contact, Clique and Hierarchy).

13. Respond Clearly to the Cabeceo

Many novice women fail to respond explicitly to a man's cabeceo, assuming that his nod signals he will approach them. What they don’t realize is that this lack of a clear response can discourage the inviter, who may interpret it as disinterest. Even subtle acknowledgments—though well-intentioned—can be misread as rejection, especially from a distance. To avoid confusion, women should respond to a cabeceo with unmistakable eye contact and a clear nod, ensuring their interest is understood.

14. Give Him A Second Chance

Some women lose heart too quickly when a man doesn’t respond to their initial glance. Just as he begins to register her interest, she has already looked away. It’s important to understand that a man caught off guard may need a moment to respond. If you're willing to reestablish eye contact to confirm your interest, your chances of sparking a positive response increase significantly.

15. Be Humble and Low-key

In performance, you want to stand out. In social dancing, you want to connect. Extravagant style, flashy movements, or highly individualistic expressions may come off as intimidating. Most men aren’t looking for a spectacle—they’re looking for warmth, compatibility, and presence. Dance well, but don’t make it a show. Social tango is communication, not competition.

16. Embrace Femininity

Men are naturally drawn to women who embrace their femininity. If you adopt a masculine style—short haircuts, androgynous clothing, leading roles, or flat shoes—you may receive fewer invitations from men. While some women see gender-neutral styles as empowering, the reality is that most men are attracted to feminine energy. If dancing with men is your goal, embracing the feminine role in tango will increase your chances of being invited. (See Femininity and Feminism (I)).

17. Improve Yourself

Not getting enough invitations is one of the most expressed frustrations among women. While men may be a part to blame (see The Age Prejudice in Tango), women have issues also. We all need to acknowledge that our cultural heritage—individualism, feminism, liberalism, independence, and the focus on the self—contributed to the problem (see A Dance That Challenges Modern Ideologies). Unless we improve our attitudes and emotional intelligence, learn to accept, respect, love and cooperate with each other, and develop a culture in our milongas that is different from the world, we are not able to fully enjoy tango. That's a challenge we as non-Argentinians all have to face.