Femininity and Feminism in Tango (II)

When a man and a woman dance tango, something mysterious unfolds—feelings, attraction, chemistry, romance, and synergy. The allure of tango lies in the dynamic interplay between the sexes: the man leads, creating space for the woman’s femininity to shine; the woman responds, surrendering to his lead with a grace that pleases, comforts, and rewards. Together, they complement one another, each enhancing the other's presence.

Some argue that anyone can dance either role equally well, given the opportunity (see comment). I have my doubts. Men are not inherently suited to the feminine role—not because they cannot take on this role, but because they are fundamentally masculine. A man lacks the soft, light, and flexible body of a woman, as well as the psyche shaped by her reproductive nature—her instinctive need for beauty (to attract a mate), affection, and security. These traits influence how women dance. Conversely, women do not possess the physical build and strength of men, nor do they have the male psyche shaped by men’s hunting instincts and their drive for initiative, control, and protection of their loved ones. If men and women were naturally inclined toward opposite roles, tango would have evolved differently.

Near my home, a female goose nests beneath a tree while her mate stands guard, ensuring she remains undisturbed. Whenever I pass by, I must take a detour—the male goose will not let me near. His protective instinct is unwavering. Could their roles be reversed? Perhaps. But would it feel natural? Likely not. Masculinity and femininity are essential traits, deeply embedded in the survival and well-being of any species. The male is typically strong, assertive, and protective—a guardian and provider. The female, in contrast, is soft, nurturing, and affectionate—a caregiver and mother. These qualities foster attraction, sustain relationships, and create stable environments for offspring.

Yet, many fail to appreciate the wisdom of nature, attempting to rewrite what has evolved over millions of years. Interfering with the natural order often leads to disastrous consequences: climate change, environmental degradation, mysterious diseases, infertility, birth defects, gender role disruptions, and the breakdown of the family and its value system (see Tango and Gender Issues). Those who presume to be wiser than nature—or God—inflict real harm with their misguided interference.

Good values are grounded in what benefits humanity as a whole, rather than serving the interests of a single individual or gender. The flaw in both individualism and feminism lies in their narrow perspectives; they focus on the desires of one person or sex, neglecting the well-being of the species as a whole. Consequently, they confuse the good with the evil and the beautiful with the ugly. Greed is ugly yet often justified as the pursuit of happiness. Selfishness is unappealing yet is framed as a rightful assertion of personal rights. Arrogance is unattractive yet is clothed in the guise of self-confidence. Masculinity is admirable yet is vilified as sexism. Femininity is appealing yet is dismissed as weakness.

Such ideologies challenge the traditional way tango is danced, branding it as male dominance or gender inequality (see Tango and Gender Equality). They advocate for a style of tango that eliminates gender distinctions: men no longer lead but merely suggest (see Three Theories on Leading); women no longer surrender but remain independent, even initiating or interrupting; the close embrace gives way to an open hold, allowing for more individuality and autonomy; and role reversals and same-sex partnerships are encouraged. As a result, tango is transformed into something that is no longer tango.

Argentine tango embodies the idea that men and women are interdependent rather than independent (see Tango and Gender Interdependence), that masculinity and femininity complement each other rather than create inequality, that being a masculine male and a feminine female is attractive, beneficial, and desirable, that harmony between genders is achieved through mutual respect, submission, accommodation, and cooperation—not antagonism, animosity, confrontation, or power struggles, and that love triumphs over hostility. While individualism and feminism emphasize the independence of an individual person or gender, tango focuses on the solidarity and harmony of their union. It calls for kindness, camaraderie, submission, humility, adaptability, cooperation, agreeableness, and yielding. Tango demonstrates that men and women can form a harmonious relationship by embracing these values. Despite the challenges tango faces in the West, it continues to influence lives positively; without these shared values, we cannot fully enjoy either the dance or the relationship between the sexes. (See A Dance That Challenges Modern Ideologies.)