The Psychology in Tango

One

The attraction between the opposite sexes can inspire such passion and creativity that Freud considered art a sublimation of sexual desire. While sexuality isn't the only driver of art, Freud's theory seems to explain tango. As long as we do not view sexuality too vulgarly, its link with passion, romanticism, imagination, creativity and artistic expression is understandable. In fact, don’t all human activities stem from the need to reproduce and thrive as a species, thus there are love, marriage, family, children, education, economic pursuit, competition, inequality, fraud, crime, and even war? Sexuality can lead to both good and evil. The vulgar understanding of human sexuality has caused the distortion and rejection of tango in the past. Tango's popularity today testifies the progress of human understanding (see Artistic Sublimation and Vulgarism in Tango).

Two

Tango is a dance of immigrants. It is created by immigrants. It expresses the feelings and serves the needs of immigrants. Those who love tango are either immigrants or people like immigrants who are lonely, homesick, and yearning for love (see Tango: Historical and Cultural Impactst).

Jeanette Winterson wrote, "I want to go anywhere that is filled with love. I want to be like a migratory salmon, relentlessly searching for the traces of love." Her words reflect an immigrant's aspiration. Love and loneliness are related feelings. Without that understanding one cannot truly appreciate tango.

You don't have to leave your country to be an immigrant. Students going to schools far away from home, college graduates just stepping into society, entrepreneurs struggling alone to start a business, migrant workers looking for jobs in big cities, homeless people, wandering travelers, lonely singles, women who married a wrong man, powerless people bullied by the powerful... aren't they all immigrants? We can say that immigrant is the common status of most people. Ever since we came into the world, we became migrants in search of the love and home in our dreams.

Thus, tango, known as a refuge or home, came into being.

Three

"What is home? Home is not a house or place. It is the attachment, warm feeling, and connection that we have in this vast, mortal world. In absence of them even a mansion of a thousand rooms is merely a cold building. Home is where our hearts belong, filled with affection and love." - Xiaomu

Xiaomu is talking about tango. Tango is not a house or place, but home. Without affection and love, tango becomes a cold building. However, affection and love are invisible, all people see is a building.

Cancer patient Yu Juan wrote in her death bed, "When facing life and death, you realize that working overtime (long-term staying up late is suicidal), pushing yourself too hard, wanting to buy a new car or new house, these are all vanities. If you have time, spend it with your children. Use the money saved for a new car to buy a pair of shoes for your parents. Don't work overtime in order to move to a bigger house. Being with the ones you love makes you feel warm even in a humble home."

Yu Juan is also talking about tango. The most important thing in tango is not to impress, but to enjoy affinity, intimacy and love. Happiness is simple, artless, and personal. It belongs to yourself. However, happiness is invisible. People are only impressed by what they see.

Four

Parents tell children, "This cake tastes the best." But children do not believe, they want that which looks more colorful and tempting. After they have tried everything, they are finally convinced that their parents were right. So they tell their children. But their children do not believe, they still want that which looks more colorful and tempting.

Milongueros tell beginners, "Fancy steps are useless in the milongas." But beginners do not believe, they want to learn fancy steps. After they have studied all they can learn, they realized that the milongueros were right. So they tell their students. But their students do not believe, they still want to learn fancy steps.

Again and again we are deceived by our eyes. How many efforts need to be wasted before we learn that lesson?

"Happiness is actually a lot simpler than what we thought. The problem is, if we do not explore all the possibilities and experience all the miseries, if we do not climb all the mountains and fall all the falls, we would not believe that happiness lies in the shade of that tree at the foot of that hill." - Liu Yu

Perhaps that is how most people learn. Only the few willing to listen to those who have tried before them can avoid making the same mistakes.

Five

"There are two ways of life: one is to follow the expectations of others; the other is to follow your own heart. The former might get you a lot of applauses, but not your own. No one would applaud for the latter perhaps, but you will surely applaud for yourself." - Zhu Deyong

Tango is frequently described as a relationship, connection, feeling, love, refuge, and home. The one thing tango should never be seen as, however, is performance. A performance is a dramatized show, like a McDonald's food ad, made only to attract eyeballs. Have you ever actually bought a burger like the one in the ad?

Tango is tango only when it is not a performance. Dancing tango is not about putting on a show, but enjoying a few minutes of connection and intimacy with another person.

Not that you should not watch videos, but keep in mind that tango is a feeling rather than image being danced (see Tango Is a Feeling).

Six

Feelings are gendered. Men and women look for different things in tango. What is programmed in the DNA of the male is strength, which is why men are attracted to women, they need to be comforted by women. What is programmed in the DNA of the female is softness, which is why women are attracted to men, they need the sense of security. Men and women are created for each other. They attract each other, complement each other, and bring out the best in each other. That's the law of nature.

Woman, you need to make him feel comfortable, so that he may consider where you are as his home.

Man, you need to lead, support and protect her diligently, so that she may take refuge in your arms and feel safe.

The secret of tango lies not in aesthetics but in psychology, in the attraction between opposites, the complementarity of masculinity and femininity, and the interaction between the sexes (see Tango and Gender Interdependence).

Seven

"If you want to remember the beauty of a flower, leave before it fades. If you want to enjoy a good wine, stop before you get drunk." - Li Ao

"Perhaps the most beautiful love is that you love him and he loves you, but the two of you are not together." - Anonymous

It makes a lot of sense for tango to be short. It's only three minutes, so the aftertaste is endless.

Eight

A poem reads, "I ran up the door, opened the staircase, put on the prayer, said the pajama, turned off the bed, got into the light, all are because of the kiss you gave me, when you said goodbye." - The Kiss

Some people left the milonga after a perfect tanda, just to preserve that surprisingly wonderful feeling.

Tango is created to feel. - In that feeling, many found a temporary home.