Tango and Family Values

I raise chickens in my backyard. In cold winter days like now, they huddle and tango together to keep themselves warm. Individualism is a luxury chickens couldn't afford. They rely on each other for survival, just like early human beings (see The Spirit of Tango).

Sometimes I wonder, are modern people really smarter than chickens? Why did they formulate such radical ideas as individualism and feminism to justify behaviors that are not in the best interests of mankind as a whole? Why are they so obsessed with self-interest and personal rights but apathetic to other people? Why do they mistreat, exploit, take advantage of, bully, rob, abuse, torture and slaughter their own kind? Why do they greedily accumulate wealth far exceeding their personal needs at the expense of their fellow human beings? Why, little by little, did they throw away all the values that held them together and made them strong as a species?

As history has shown, due to the despicable side of human nature, sometimes evil prevails over good and people are brainwashed to follow wrong ideas. Perhaps we come across such a time again (see Pluralism vs. Monism).

I am not giving up hope, though, because I still see goodness in people like firefighters, doctors without borders and tango dancers alike. I admire them because it takes a big heart to open your arms to others, to provide a supporting shoulder for those in need, and to be a good Samaritan. Tango is created by such people - immigrant men and women who are homeless, lonely, vulnerable, looking for a refuge in a strange land, yearning to be loved, and who have compassion for others like themselves. Like chickens, they huddle and tango together to keep themselves warm in a cold world (see Why People Dance Tango).

I also see hope in parents who teach their children to love each other, to take care of their little brothers and sisters, and to work as a team. When such children grow up, they will become responsible members of society. Evil prevails only when family is disintegrated, when family values are lost, when human bonds faded away, when everyone becomes egocentric, and when materialism, egoism, individualism, feminism, racism, hatred, divorce, single parent family, irresponsible sex and self-indulgence become the accepted norms in society.

But I don't think the world can go on like this for long. As a species we are part of nature and the law of nature overrules the law of men. The success of mankind depends on the solidarity and cooperation of its members, and we are endowed with this ability. As long as there are men and women, there will be love, children, family, family values, teamwork and cooperation, so radical ideologies like egoism, liberalism, individualism and feminism will fail. Family will always be the cornerstone of human civilization. Our collective desire to survive and our collective conscience reject what is bad for the species. After all, we must succeed not as individuals but as a species. That is why in times like now more and more people turn to tango, a dance that connects us, a dance that requires teamwork and cooperation, a dance that teaches people to love, and a dance that is consistent with family values (see Tango Is the Search for a Dream).

Meeting in the Middle

For many people, life is good. For many others, it's not. We all live in our own reality and understand life differently, thence hold different views as supporters or opponents, liberals or conservatives, reformers or traditionalists, etc. But the fact is, as Guy de Mauppassant wrote in his 1883 novel, A Women's Life, "Life is never as good or as bad as one thinks."

"I think, therefore I am." (Discourse on the Method, by Rene Descartes.) In order to think there must be a thinking entity, the self. Human cognition is conditioned by personal experiences, thus tends to be partial and rabid. Truth often lies somewhere between opposite views. For this reason, Confucius argues that a gentleman should hold the position of the mean, that is, moderate, impartial, balanced, not taking extreme positions, but meeting in the middle (see Understanding China: Geography, Confucianism, and Chinese-Style Modernization).

Meeting in the middle is not only a method of thinking or approach to life, it is also a civilized way to resolve conflicts. Opposing parties insisting on having their own ways can be stalled, unable to reach an agreement. But if they are willing to meet halfway, they become less divided. A compromised deal may not be as good as either party would like, but it is a common ground for them to move forward. In fact, that is how nature works. The black tulip does not come from the original parent plants overnight, but through a series of compromises or improvements over generations, as Alexandre Dumas wrote in his 1850 novel The Black Tulip. Politicians often fight for a one-time deal. In reality progress is a process. You move an inch through a compromise, then move another inch through another compromise. You probably will never get all you want. But everyone will be better off if they all agree to move forward by meeting in the middle.

The result is something much better - the black tulip. Aristotle said, "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts." When individual parts are united, it creates a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual effects. You can easily break individual sticks, but you cannot break them when they are tied together. Logically, the whole is the sufficient condition of its part, but the reverse is not true. In other words, what is good for society benefits all, but what is good for an individual does not necessarily benefit society. Individualism is erroneous as a methodology. It is also antidemocratic as a political philosophy, because it acts in accordance with the law of the jungle (see Tango and Individualism). Those who insist on having their own way and refuse to take the concerns of others into account are dictators. A democracy formed by such individuals does not work, as evidenced by the growing polarization, obstinacy, extremism, hostility, aggression, uninhibitedness, uncooperativeness and lawlessness in American society.

If we still hold that "all men are created equal" to be a self-evident truth, if we still believe that a united and harmonious society is in the best interests of all citizens, if we still need each other, and if we do not want to be disregarded by others, then we must take others into account and not insist on having our own way. Democracy is government of the people, by the people and for the people, not strong individuals. It is based on the agreement and cooperation of its people, not on antagonism and sabotage. It aims at the balance, harmony and well-being of all, not the self-interest of a few. It follows the Golden Rule, not the law of the jungle. It requires us to resolve conflicts through compromise, not power and force. A democracy must educate its people on its principles. If we believe these to be true, then meeting in the middle is the sensible, practical, civil and democratic approach we must take, the approach of tango. I must say, right now we are not doing very well in our politics and in our dance.

Tango and Individualism

We all assume certain roles in life. Husband and wife, father and mother, president and vice president, center forward and linebacker, leader and follower etc. are all different roles (see The Gender Roles in Tango). To work effectively as a team, it is important that we act in accordance with our roles. Overstepping one's role often results in a failed partnership, whether in marriage, family, politics, sports or tango.

Moreover, we have to be cooperative and act coherently to function as a team. Agreeableness was once considered a valuable virtue for this reason. While team members may have differing personal preferences, opinions, and positions, they need to put the team's interests first, be empathetic and accommodating, set aside their personal egos and differences and find common ground, considering themselves as part of a greater whole that is more significant than the individual parts (see Pluralism vs. Monism).

But when individualism becomes the prevailing philosophy in a society where everyone places themselves at the center, the collective good is often neglected. In contemporary America, for example, individual entitlements and self-interest are given greater importance than the needs of society as a whole. This has resulted in frequent disagreements and conflicts between people, with little agreement on anything. The political deadlock we witness is merely a reflection of the self-centeredness, narrow-mindedness, extreme positions, and obstinacy that reflect a country's absence of a holistic vision, magnanimity, solidarity, and common purpose.

The disregard for individual rights is a regrettable reality in human history. Liberalism, which prioritizes individual freedom, has historically played a constructive role in unleashing human potential and creativity. However, the idea that humans are independent and autonomous individuals is a biased view, because we in fact are closely related and interdependent members of a species whose survival and success rely on our solidarity and cooperation. Human rights should not only be seen as individual entitlements, but also as collective rights that benefit all of humanity. These rights include coexistence, equality, cooperation, sharing, and the overall well-being of society (see Philosophies that Separate Two Worlds).

In today's America, however, rampant liberalism and individualism prioritize individual liberty, rights, and personal choice over the common interests and harmonious coexistence of mankind and society as a whole. Egoism, selfish behaviors, predatory practices, exploitation of others, monopoly, gun proliferation, doping, violence, obscenity, homosexuality, LGBTQIAPK, same-sex marriage, etc., all under the guise of individual rights and freedom, are but few examples. Too many people only think about themselves and disregard the interests of society and mankind as a whole (see Tango and Gender Issues).

Our tango mirrors this culture. Many dancers view themselves as independent individuals rather than as team members. Freedom is interpreted as being incompatible with compliance, while equality is seen as being at odds with submission. Gender roles and gender expressions are rejected, with men being discouraged from leading and women dancing like men. Tango embrace is being replaced by an open dance hold to allow for more individuality. Many dancers exhibit strong egos and treat others as rivals. Those attempting to find a dance partner are often subjected to rude responses, etc., resulting in a lack of fellowship, agreement, fraternity, and cooperation in our tango.

But, despite this infatuation with individualism, we are still human beings subjected to vulnerability, loneliness, interdependence, and a need for association and connection. That is why we turn to tango in the first place - to make contact with others, to experience intimacy and fellowship, to touch and be touched by another person, to fulfill our desire for affinity, affection and love, and to collaborate in creating something that satisfies everyone. Unfortunately, these needs are often frustrated by our self-centeredness, independence, arrogance, and disagreeableness.

Tango puts us in such an intimate relationship with one another that we are forced to reevaluate what it means to be human, to change our self-centered attitude, to be better connected and cooperative partners, and to dance in harmony through abiding by the roles and being agreeable with each other. The lessons we can learn from tango are valuable, with farreaching implications beyond the dance floor (see The Lessons of Tango). We need political leaders who understand the truth revealed in tango to unite us, set aside the differences, find common ground, restore brotherhood, focus on common cause rather than differences, and work as a team. Our milonga will be a better place in which to dance, and our society will be a better place in which to live, I believe, if we embrace the spirit of tango and reject individualism.

Mammonism

In the beginning there is no money, people barter. I fish, you farm, and she weaves. We each exchange our product for the products of others. As this becomes a common practice, issues of fair trade arise and standard exchange ratios between various products are gradually established. For example, two pounds of fish can be exchanged for one foot of cloth or three pounds of wheat, based on the amount of labor required to produce those products. But such direct barter is inconvenient. You may want my fish, but I do not want your wheat but her cloth, and she wants your wheat, not my fish. How do we do the transactions? Thus, money as a medium of exchange comes in handy. With money, trade becomes easier.

Initially money is things that people all desire, such as salt and cattle. People first convert their products into such commonly desired goods, then use these commonly desired goods to exchange for other products. A pound of salt can buy a foot of cloth, two pounds of fish, or three pounds of wheat, because the average labor employed in producing these quantities of product is equivalent. Precious metals such as gold and silver eventually become the most common form of money because these rare metals have high values, are easy to carry and store, and can be conveniently cut into pieces to accurately measure the values of other products.

People soon discovered that this way of exchange is still cumbersome. Since money is only used to measure or represent the values of products, itself doesn't have to be a materiel good. A piece of paper can do the same job and is much easier to carry. Thus money changes form from tangible goods to paper bills. It then becomes apparent that even paper money is unnecessary, as transactions can be done electronically. Thus money changes form again from paper bills to digital money - electronic numbers that are stored on computers or mobile devices. These electronic numbers now become the life ambition of the modern people.

In the beginning there is no accumulation of wealth because agricultural products cannot be stored in large number. Trade is only for daily consumption. But with money that is changed. Money can be accumulated indefinitely and passed on to future generations. It can also be used to loan and invest to generate returns. With money I can buy wheat from you and sell it to her at a higher price, and buy textiles from her and sell them to you at a higher price to make profits. Some people even find that they can make money without producing or owning anything, just serving as a middleman or broker. Thus trade is no longer for daily consumption. It became simply a means of accumulating wealth. More and more smart people left manufacturing and entered trading and finance to make money by reselling other people's products and by using financial tools, such as printing money, lending, issuing stocks, speculating, selling insurance, etc. Some economic theories, such as mercantilism, financialism, and neoliberalism, argue that the economy should be driven entirely by market forces, promoting trade and finance as the easiest way to build wealth. This results in the gradual transformation of a production-oriented economy into a trade-oriented or finance-oriented economy. This phenomenon, known as deindustrialization, poses a threat to a country's security, because manipulating finance and using printed money to buy foreign goods cannot defeat the enemy. In crises of war and embargo by hostile forces, victory can only be won by a country's real production capacity.

Making money through trade is a tricky business. Strictly speaking there is no fair trade, or else it becomes unprofitable. One can only gain from the loss of others. For example, the employers make money by taking advantage of the employees whose labor generate much greater values than the minimum wage they are paid. Wall Street takes advantage of retail investors' investments and seeks huge profits by selling dubious financial derivatives at the expense of ordinary investors and borrowers. The insurance company exploit people's sense of security. Since low risky people greatly outnumber high risky people, the insurance company can make money by selling an empty promise. Jealous of the insurance company, the drug company increases the price of their product 5000%, according to a recent report. Hospitals make their money in the same way. I went to a hospital for a small skin condition. They sent me to see a family doctor. This family doctor sent me to the lab, and then sent me to a dermatologist. The dermatologist diagnosed it as eczema without the need to see the test result. The prescribed cream cost me $30 and the eczema was cured. But the hospital bill is $800, which is partially paid for by the insurance. The insurance company shifts the cost to the clients by raising premiums and reducing coverages. Health insurance once covers everything, now you have to buy separate insurances for teeth, eyes, ears and drugs. House insurance once covers everything, now you have to buy separate insurances for fire, flood, tornado and earthquake.

This way, while the nation's physical wealth does not increase, some people can make a lot of money through unfair trade. This practice undermines the fundamental principle in trade. The essence of trade is the exchange of labor. A fair exchange reflects the equivalent amounts of labor involved in producing the products. Since the exchange ratios of all products are proportional, the increase in price of one product will trigger a chain reaction of inflation. As a result, houses, cars, groceries, utilities, services, all become more expensive, and the government has to raise taxes just to keep even if nothing else. The victims are the ordinary working people. In today's America, 63% of people are unable to pay a $500 surprise bill, but a handful of individuals benefiting from this unfair system that they have created have accumulated tremendous wealth that reached astronomical figures.

Greed knows no limit and most crimes, caught or not caught, are motivated by money. Noble causes intended to benefit the public, such as journalism, education and medicine, now all become means of making money, and money respects no morality. Clever opportunists who found ingenious ways to take advantage of others become the winners. Honest working people become the losers. As a result, people lost both confidence in fairness and motivation in production, fostering moral decay and opportunism. A worker once could feed the whole family, not anymore because the prices become so outrageous that women also have to work in order to maintain the same standard of living. Feminists may call it women's rights and equal opportunities. In fact it is the enslavement of women. As a woman lamented, "More and more women work extremely hard to make money now. Society provides women with less and less security. Security used to mean a commitment, a helping hand when cross the street, now it becomes the money in your pocket and a fully charged cell phone... We all yearn to marry a man, only to find ourselves turned into men."

When a society measures success by electronic numbers, permits a handful of oligarchs to accumulate unlimited wealth, allows the rich to influence legislation and policy making with their money, provides them with legal loopholes and preferential treatments, and treats them as model citizens, it is bound that people all want to get rich quickly, that corruption breeds and crimes grow, that the privileged few become winners and the disadvantaged majority become losers, that inequality and injustice increase, that society becomes more and more divided and polarized, that natural resources are depleted and the environment destroyed, that the state is turned into a cartel controlled by capital and special interests, and that politicians become more and more unscrupulous and shameless.

Capitalism, with its greed and profit-seeking nature, initially may stimulate the growth of an economy, but will inevitably lead to its hollowing out, corruption and failure. When an economy makes profit rather than production its top priority, when it's willing to sacrifice quality for profit, as Boeing did, when most of its manufacturing moved to low-cost countries, when its main components are no longer farmers and industrial workers but merchants, bankers, consultants and lawyers, when its GDP comes primarily from the service and financial sectors rather than production, its failure is not far away. Capitalism is the cancer of the modern world, which dehumanizes people and turns them into slaves to money. When mankind invented money, nobody thought it would lead to the alienation of humanity. How to awaken mankind from this insanity is one of the most intractable problems facing modern philosophers, economists, sociologists, law makers, and politicians (see America Is in Big Truoble).

Tolerance and Grit

In my spare time I like to go fishing. Gu Feng described his fishing experience in a poem, which reads, "In mist that veils the valley deep, by the stream where green bamboo and crimson flowers gleam, I stood in soft breeze, fishing in silence. At dusk, I heard rain drip upon the pavilion roof. At dawn, in blue robe, sheltered by my umbrella, I wandered alone along the stony path." Picturesque! Relaxing!

But I am not the poet. For me, the joy of fishing lies in the bite; without it, even the relaxing scenery can’t make me fully content. Fish are unpredictable. Some days I don’t catch any; on most days, two or three an hour is typical. But occasionally, the fish become wildly active. You cast your line, and they rush to bite, one after another, allowing you to catch dozens within a few hours. This kind of frenzy happens just once or twice a year. My passion for fishing stems mainly from the allure of such rare moments. The addiction, therefore, is in the anticipation. Miracles, after all, are rare.

This feeling is similar to what we experience in tango. The elegant venue, soft lighting, smooth dance floor, enchanting music, and beautiful attire - all are captivating, but without a good partner, they’re not enough. Then one night, unexpectedly, you meet someone whose height, skill, musicality, temperament, and demeanor align perfectly with yours. Like a match made in heaven, the two of you become instant pals, giving yourselves over to a dance that lets you savor both flawless cooperation and the freedom of solo expression. This experience transforms your view of tango, giving you a new way to appreciate the dance. From then on, you return to the dance floor week after week, hoping to relive that magical moment. But miracles in tango, as in life, come only by chance. In my fourteen years of dancing at countless milongas, I’ve had that experience only a few times. Yet it’s enough to keep me coming back, yearning to capture that feeling once more. Tango is the search for a dream. In reality, miracles are rare.

We often forget that imperfection is the norm in life. To truly enjoy life, we must cultivate a heart that can find beauty in the ordinary. Voltaire said: “What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of fragility and error; let us pardon each other’s folly - that is the first law of nature.”

At the same time, we all yearn to rise above the ordinary and become extraordinary. Excellence is the result of perseverance. Only by embracing the daily routines can we achieve greatness. So, let us encourage ourselves to be resilient. Miracles may follow - not by luck, but as a result of dedication. That is the second law of nature.

A Wise Voice

Anna: Hi, Paul, I totally agree with you on "Good human values are based on what is beneficial to the humanity rather than an individual person or gender." It is so beautifully said and so wise. Freedom and human rights movements led people to put a lot of emphasis on individuality and as a result, the inflated self-image lessens our ability to view the world as a connected whole. This inflated self-image is also probably the root cause to many modern psychological ailments and problems: loneliness, depression, and mental disorder. If we can zoom out and see ourselves as a tiny one, rather than the one, in this big universe, a fact that has not changed a bit since the big bang, we may again find the beauty in the ancient natural law and adopt the right perspective towards the self and the rest of the world.

I had a few Tango lessons by now and was deeply touched by this beautiful dance. I am a woman with strong characters in other people's eyes. When I first started, I experienced a lot of struggle, questioning, and doubt. As you have explained in your excellent blog, unless we adopt the appropriate values and mentality for this dance, we cannot dance the real Tango. As a matter of fact, unless the man and the woman take the right role, they cannot even get the dance going. They will be constantly on each other's toes. No agreement, no harmony, no beauty. Then one day luckily I met a partner who did all the things you mentioned that a good leader should do, he guided me, protected me and let me shine. And without me knowing I surrendered all my wariness and entrusted myself to him. The steps followed naturally. At that moment, I knew how Tango should be done and how beautiful it can be when it is done right, when a man is a man and a woman is a woman. Looking forward to more of your sharing.

Paul: Dear Anna, I appreciate your comment deeply because it summed up so well an important theme throughout this blog, and you did it with such simple elegance. When I started this blog, I thought it was just about tango as a dance. But I soon discovered that in fact I was in search of the lost humanity in ourselves, without which tango lost its soul. Tango awakens our humanity because it forces us to zoom out and see ourselves as part of the whole, to understand our smallness, loneliness, vulnerability and interdependence, as reflected in the “ancient natural law”, and to appreciate the beauty of Creation from a macro or cosmological perspective, as you eloquently put it. The individual is trivial. The strength of mankind comes from our connection, solidarity and cooperation. This truth, as attested by tango, must not be forgotten no matter how much we have achieved individually. Please write and let your voice be heard! My best wish to your tango!

惜缘

A reader commented on my last post, The Spirit of Tango: "A ten-minute tanda is a radical response to the dehumanizing reality of modern day-to-day living. It is an opportunity for two humans to embrace each other in the promotion of humanity. Don’t let the precious opportunity slip away because your partner isn’t a good enough dancer, tall enough, young enough, old enough, attractive enough, friendly enough, …whatever enough. Every embrace has a story - dance with it."

I pondered this comment, as it reminded me of a Chinese motto: "惜缘" (pronounced shee-yuan).

惜缘 means cherishing the luck by which people are brought together. On the wall of my office is a script written in beautiful penmanship by a Chinese calligrapher: "Cherish those who are brought to you by fate. They enrich your life. They are the footprints to your destiny." This is an unfamiliar philosophy in America, where human connections are not as deeply valued as in some other cultures like China and Argentina. Many Americans prioritize individualism, personal freedom, independence, and autonomy. They often live, act, work, and even pass on alone; they are fierce advocates for gun rights but quite ignorant of communal life and relationships, often letting opportunities for meaningful connections slip away.

Life, however, is not a solo dance - even for Robinson Crusoe. If you think about it, your life is defined by the people around you: the parents who raised you, the siblings who grew up with you, the classmates who studied alongside you, the teachers and mentors who influenced you, the colleagues who worked beside you, and the friends who shared warmth and laughter. Fortune brings only a limited number of people into each person's life, and these are the precious resources granted to us by fate. Those who cherish such resources can build great companies and achieve lofty goals, while those who do not often find their lives lonely, friendless, and unfulfilled.

What is true in life is true in tango as well. In each city, there are only a limited number of people who dance tango. Despite their differences, these individuals share a longing for human connection, a belief in fraternity and love, a sense of nostalgia, romanticism, sentimentality, and a passion for tango. Those who cherish one another can form a vibrant tango community. Those who tear down bridges and build walls, however, cause their community to suffer. Sadly, the latter is often the reality in our tango circles. Many of us do not appreciate enough the fortune that brings us together. They are haughty and prejudiced. They view others as rivals and treating them with indifference or disdain. They dance not to enjoy the relationship but to display their ego, forming cliques, vying for dominance, and pushing out competition.

Individualism is incompatible with tango. I hope we can learn from the philosophy of 惜缘 and cherish the luck that brings us together as a community, for this is what makes tango so fascinating. Tango is not merely a skill; it is a fellowship, an intimate connection with others, and a philosophy of restoring humanity through cooperation and sharing (see Tango Is a Fellowship). Rather than trying to reinvent tango, perhaps we should allow tango to transform us, helping us become a more connected and cooperative people. (See The Lessons of Tango.)

The Spirit of Tango

One of man's greatest limitations is egocentricity. We think first and often only from a personal perspective, and we act first and often only in our own interests.

But mankind is not always like that. When humanity was in its infancy and childhood, we relied heavily on each other for survival, everything was shared. Fraternity, cooperation and Good Samaritanism were our first nature. Doctrines like liberalism, individualism, feminism, personal freedom and individual rights appeared much later in human history, and are still imperfect theories, or in many ways even adverse to the best human interests overall, as attested by selfishness, greed, competition, aggression, inequality, obscenity, doping, gun proliferation, homosexuality, same-sex marriage, single parent family, LGBTQIAPK, etc., - all in the name of individual rights and freedom. "O Liberty! O Liberty! What crimes are committed in thy name!" - grieved Madame Jeanne-Marie Roland. Mankind is still in its adolescence too self-centric to understand the relation between personal freedom and common interests of the species as a whole. (See The World Needs a Different Philosophy.)

Perhaps the most important lesson that tango teaches us is that we are interdependent rather than independent, that we need each other, that our personal well-being is inseparable from the well-being of others, that one cannot be happy unless all are happy, that cooperation and sharing serve us better than animosity and competition, that human rights are the collective rights of mankind as a species, not just personal entitlements, and that compassion and self-discipline are important attributes of what makes us human. Tango tells the other side of the human story. It awakens the better part of the humanity in us, and suggests the way for us to live together in peace and harmony through generosity in spirit, loftiness of purpose, altruism, and cooperation. Wherever we go and dance, tango always reminds us that love, despite our many limitations, is what holds us together as a team, community, people, nation and species. (See The Lessons of Tango.)

Spot Dancing in Tango

Progressive dances, such as foxtrot and waltz, are danced on the large dance floor of the ballroom. Such a large floor is divided into two sections: the outer travelling lanes for progressive dancing, and the inner or center floor for spot dancing. Dancing progressive dances needs to follow certain rules, including traveling counterclockwise around the dance floor, not moving against traffic, maintaining the flow, avoiding spot dancing that could hold up traffic, avoiding frequent lane changes, moving to the center if you like to do spot dancing or practice new steps, not traveling through the center, keeping a proper distance from the couple dancing in front of you, adapting patterns to what the traffic permits, not focusing on completing a pattern if a collision can result, and not forcing your way to overtake, etc.

Spot dances, such as disco and salsa, are danced in a fixed area. Such dances can be danced on a small floor like that in a restaurant or bar. Dancing spot dances on a small dance floor follows different rules, including dancing on your own spot or slot, using minimum space, not drifting around the dance floor, using compact dance hold or embrace, using small steps, avoiding dangerous movements, respecting the dance spaces of others, and not pushing or elbowing your way around, etc.

Now, is tango a progressive dance or spot dance? What floor size is best for tango dancing? Which set of rules apply when it is danced on a small and crowded dance floor? There are no easy answers to these questions because tango, a progressive dance in general, can be danced in a compact way on a small dance floor. The following is an example.

People do not dance foxtrot and waltz on a coffee table. But tango, an intimate dance danced in close embrace, does not require a large floor. That is why milongas are often held in restaurants and bars. On the plus side, small dance floors are easy to find, affordable, and convenient for cabeceo. On the downside, the small dance floor cannot accommodate many people and tends to be congested. In El Beso, the famous bar in downtown Buenos Aires, for example, there are often more than a hundred people dancing tango on a floor the size of a large family room in an American home. People jammed together using any space available to dance in very tight steps. Obviously, in a crowded venue like that you have to follow rules different from that in a spacious ballroom where lanes are divided, free travel is possible, and open embrace and fancy steps are allowed. We dance tango in various venues. Some are large, others are small. Some are sparsely populated; others are tightly packed. Even a large dance floor can become crowded from time to time. Therefore, one must dance in accordance with the changing situation. Sticking to the way that no longer fits, such as using open embrace, wide steps and dangerous footwork on a crowded dance floor, is a recipe for disaster. Such senseless behaviors are a major cause of accidents in our milongas. (See Milonga Codes.)

This happens partly because most students in the US are not taught to dance tango on a coffee table. They are only taught to dance tango on a spacious dance floor. But that is not how tango is dance in Buenos Aires where dance floors are usually packed. Now, with the popularity of tango in the US, our milongas also become crowded, making it necessary for us to adapt to a more compact way of dancing. Dancing tango as a spot dance requires different techniques, including using close embrace, dancing in small steps, focusing on synchronization rather than fancy performance, a much better command on dissociation, and the knack in floor crafting, etc. It also requires the dancers to focus more on music and feelings rather than movements and impression. Without these abilities, one's tango education is incomplete and inadequate.

Floorcraft, Choreography and Hastiness

We dance counterclockwise along the line of dance, but our dancing route is not a straight line. Rather, it is a random course with alternate right and left moves, forward and backward steps and various turns. If our legs were brushes, they would leave on the dance floor marks with different characteristics - neat or messy, robust or graceful, beautiful or ugly, interesting or boring... just like a work of calligraphy. This work of calligraphy is not only two dimensional, composed of steps in single or multiple sizes and directions, it also has a time dimension, involving steps in monotonic or diverse speeds and rhythms.

Students may think of floorcraft as navigation rules, such as traveling on your own lane and avoiding frequent lane changes, not dancing against traffic, keeping a proper distance from the couple dancing in front of you, not doing spot dancing that may hold up traffic, avoiding dangerous steps, etc. But floorcraft is more than a safety protocol. It is also an important component of choreography, an art by its own right. Dancers may be skillful in dance techniques, but their choreography can still be artless. The following is an example.

These students are quite skilled dancers. Their embrace, posture, footwork and techniques are all good. The only issue is the rush. They danced with great hastiness, blindly chasing the beat regardless of the mood of the music. There is hardly any pause, extension, slow motion, subtlety, and emotional expression in their dance.

It's important to know that dancing to music does not require stepping on every beat. Dance is like any other composition art. In writing you need to use punctuation marks. In painting you need to use empty space. In calligraphy you need to leave margins. And in tango you need to pause. Silence is also a way of expression, which sometimes speaks more than words. Pause, slow motion, and pose must all be a part of your tango vocabulary.

In comparison, the following clip is a better example.

While some dancers in this video still dance in a beat-chasing way, there are few exceptions. The glaring example is the couple in white and purple appeared from 0:00-0:35 in the middle and again 0:55-1:05 to the right. The man danced in a relaxed and patient way, giving the woman enough time to finish her steps and not rushing her to chase the beat. Sometimes he paused to enjoy the silence, adding an interesting variety to the choreography.

When it comes to choreography and dance pace, we have much to learn from the milongueros.

As you can see, these milongueros danced at a much slower pace. Instead of chasing the beat, they incorporated a lot of pauses and slow motion into the dance. Their focus was on the music and feelings rather than steps, which made their dance more interesting, meaningful, and with depth.

It must be pointed out that plotting the dance is the role of the man. The woman's role is to synchronize the movements and beautify the dance, but she cannot change the choreography. That responsibility lies in the leader. Too often, the leader is so focused on leading the steps that he forgets to make the choreography interesting. This, of course, does not mean that the woman has nothing to do with choreography. Often the couple rushes because the woman dances with great haste, leaving the man little choice but rush with her. (See Steps, Musicality and Choreoraphy.)

From Steps to Feelings

How tango is danced in Buenos Aires
Many Europeans and Americans dance tango differently than Argentines. For years I tried to find a video to show how tango is danced in Argentina in order to change people's perception. But I couldn't find a satisfying one because tango videos are mostly shot by foreigners interested only in their own version of tango. The few that reflect the truth are poorly made, often with trifling and annoying details. Maybe even in Buenos Aires most milongas are not up to standard because they are packed with visitors, making it difficult to capture a truly porteno milonga. Only recently, I came across this video made by Paul Holman, which I found is representative of a milonga that I can call home.

I like this video not only because of its clarity, lighting, color and cinematography but also because of the producer's unique perspective. Paul Holman understood that tango is a dance of intimacy, connection, and surrender, that steps and footwork are secondary, that milonga codes play a crucial role, and that he should focus on the essentials and avoid misleading trifles to let the viewers enjoy a real good milonga. I watch this video often lately just to enjoy that soulful scene and remind myself of how one should behave and dance in the milonga.

How tango is danced in Europe and North America
In Europe and North America, people have a quite different perception. Here is how they dance tango in their milongas.

They dance tango not to enjoy music, feeling, and intimacy with another person, but to display or practice steps. I believe most of these people knew tango is an intimate dance and they came because they wanted to taste that apple. But for some hypocritical reasons they replaced the embrace with an open dance hold, distanced themselves from each other and focused only on the steps rather than the music, partner and feelings.

To be fair, this is not the worst case. One can tell it's a growing tango community. A number of them danced in the milonguero style, and are fair to good dancers. But most dancers are still newbies who don't know how to embrace and dance. They relied on arms and hands to lead and follow. Many were practicing what they recently learned. Most were emotionally detached. Few actually danced to music. The milonga codes were poorly complied, as exemplified by using verbal invitation, blocking the traffic, remaining on the dance floor during the cortina, wearing ornaments that would rub the partner's chest, loud background noises and a lot of talking. The music, although traditional, was not very engaging. The whole scene was quite chaotic. Towards the end there were a few better dances. But overall, I don't think this milonga is very attractive and satisfying. Unfortunately, this is still a typical tango scene in Europe and North America.

Another common Euro-American tango scene
Common among our young people is another kind of tango scene showing below.

Young people seem need to discharge their youthful energy and prove their ability to do things unconventional. Dancing in open hand hold rather than embrace, they can do fancy steps and showy figures. Some even attained certain degree of skillfulness in what they are doing. Nevertheless, there is no fundamental difference between this kind of tango and other sports dances. Personally I don't see how such way of dancing tango is even enjoyable in comparison to the feeling-oriented milonguero style. I wish there were better reasons why some people insist on doing this when there is clearly a better way, other than they need to release energy, show off, have obstacles, or don't know better. As far as comfort, soulfulness, indulgence and gratification are concerned, there is really no comparison between the two styles.

It may be characteristic for young people to act rebelliously, but being obsessed with the stereotype or wanting to prove that they are different from older people is childish and naive. Older people are once young and rebellious, too. In fact, many milongueros can do Nuevo steps better than young people today. They quit doing that because they become wiser after tried everything that young people with their limited experience cannot even imagine. Most young people learned tango from their peers, who learned from their peers, and they simply don't know another way to tango. Once they have tasted the milongueros' way, most will renounce theirs and follow suit. (See The Styles of Tango.)

This is how milongueros emerge
Three decades of trial and error since 1983 eventually lead some tango dancers in Europe and North America to move away from exhibitionism and pay more attention to the embrace, music and feelings. As a result, scenes like this start to appear in Europe and North America in recent years.

Their embrace and connection become closer and more intimate. Their dance becomes more feeling-oriented. Their steps become simpler, more musical and elegant. Their milonga becomes better organized. Antisocial behaviors are less seen. While showy footwork still occurs, the embrace still brakes sometimes, the hand use still remains habitual for some, the music selections are still more dramatic than sentimental, the hastiness is still common, the dresses are still too casual, the skill levels are uneven, progress nevertheless is evident in comparison to the previous two scenes. Such transformation certainly would not come without pain given the strong Western tradition of liberalism, individualism, feminism and hippie movement. But the dancers in this example proved that they can change. It is a reassurance that there is still a lot of hope in tango, in humanity, and in our ability to adapt.

How social tango should be danced
It is worth your time to watch Holman's video again and compare it to our own tango. The following is an edited version. This time please pay attention to how the milongueros and milongueras follow the milonga codes from seating, making eye contact, doing cabeceo, dancing to sending the woman back to her seat. If you wonder what kind of steps they use to make their dance so coherent and concordant, you can watch those dancing in the background. But nothing fancy really. Their tango is not about steps. (See The Conceptional Beauty of Tango.)

As you can see, they concentrate entirely on the music and feelings as if steps are irrelevant. Dancing tango for them is enjoying the sentiment and intimacy, not doing gymnastics. They dance with complete relaxation, unhurried pace, subtle movements and tasteful suspensions. Their steps are small and simple, totally void of flaunt, and used only to remain synchronized with the partner in dance. The beauty of their tango lies in the oneness of the union rather than the performance of the individual. In their tango nothing is ornate, but everything is exquisite and elegant. Even their music selections are more sentimental and intriguing than ours, fitting perfectly to the mood of their dance.

Please also pay attention to the woman. Her ability to remain cohesive with the man is amazing. She leans comfortably on him with her breasts intimately press against his chest and her arm hooked around his shoulder. Her eyes are dreamily closed to allow herself to focus inwardly on the feelings stirred by the music and the soft whispers of his body. Her inconspicuous footwork magically keeps her body moving in unison with his no matter how he turns.

To tango is to indulge yourself, not to impress others. On a crowded dance floor who cares about your footwork anyway. The only thing that matters is the intimate feelings you experience. That is why performance tango doesn't make good sense in the milongas. I hope Holman's video will inspire more people to learn the milonguero style of tango and accelerate the transformation of our tango from a step-oriented dance to a feeling-oriented dance. (See Social Tango and Performence Tango.)

P.S.
I received several comments on my video selections and understand a little better now why political correctness has become a necessity in our society. Please be aware that the video clips I selected are used only to illustrate a phenomenon. They are neither intended to reflect nor capable of reflecting the whole picture of any community or event.

Women's Walk in Tango

Tango walk is performed in close embrace by two dancers in a chest-to-chest posture. The man walks forward, while the woman steps backward, and they must walk with matching posture, alignment, CBM, dissociation, timing, and pace in perfect coordination, balance, harmony, and elegance. Many students do not walk well because they do not have the needed stability, flexibility and techniques. Their postures and habits are not up to the standard of tango. Their legs and feet are not strong enough to maintain balance, and their personal praxes conflict with each other, causing instability and disharmony in their walk.

There are more exercises designed for women than men in tango, just as there are more fashions, shoes, jewelry and cosmetics designed for women than men. This is not surprising given the significance of beauty to women and the fact that, while the man leads the woman, it's the woman who beautifies the dance. How women walk, therefore, matters more than how men walk in tango. (See The Gender Roles in Tango.)

Muscle Development
In order to walk well, you first need to develop muscles that enable your feet to suck the floor and stay very grounded in the walk. Dancing a lot certainly helps. Supplementary exercises can also be beneficial. One exercise that I found particularly helpful is demonstrated by Vanessa Gauch in the following video.

When done in slow motion, this exercise can effectively build foot muscles and improve stability and elegance in women's walk. The exercise can be summed up in six steps to help you memorize the sequence: (1) Stand on one leg, stretching the other leg forward. (2) Transfer weight forward to rest on the heel of the front foot and the toes of the back foot. (3) Shift weight back and forth a few times in this position. (4) Transfer weight fully onto the front leg. (5) Start the next step by swiveling the hips to move the leg - which gives women's walk a feminine grace. (6) Repeat the sequence with the opposite leg.

Walk Backwards
In tango, women mostly walk backwards, which is a challenge since that is not how they normally walk. To learn to walk backwards, you almost need to start from toddle. The following video, demonstrated also by Vanessa Gauch, can help you understand how it should be done.

Walk in Leaning Position
It is important to note that embrace affects walk significantly. Walking in an A-shaped frame is very different from walking in an H-shaped frame. A woman using open dance hold cannot stretch her leg back far enough, because without leaning on her partner it's hard for her to keep balance with just one leg when the other leg must stretch back as far as possible. Here is an example.

The two teachers are competent dancers, I believe, but the H-shaped frame hampered their performance. In comparison, walking in close embrace, or an A-shaped frame, is much more stable, balanced and elegant, as illustrated by Jennifer Bratt and Ney Melo in the following video.

Note that Jennifer leans on Ney with an increased incline. She bends her standing leg slightly and uses a little bit dissociation - turning her hips upwards and downwards to allow the free leg to reach back far. Note also that when her hips are turned, she uses the thumb rather than the toes of the foot to reach the floor. Also note that her leg is swayed by the hip slightly sideways in contrast to the forward walk in which the leg is swayed by the hip towards the center, as demonstrated by Vanessa Gauch in the first video. These all add a feminine touch to her walk.

Hip Sway
Experienced tangueras use the hip, rather than the thigh, to initiate leg movement. Here is a good example danced by Mariana Montes and Sebastian Arce.

While their style is too exhibitionist to suit the milonga, in my humble opinion, the opening walk (0:15 - 0:28) is absolutely gorgeous, appropriate in social dancing, and worth watching again and again. The walk is done in close embrace that enables Mariana to outstretch her leg far. Her beautiful hip sway, with a subtle dissociation and very straight leg line, contributes to the unequivocal beauty and elegance of her walk. Note that her leg is also swayed slightly sideways as a result of using the hip to move the leg.

Maintaining Balance and Lightness
As comfortable as it is to lean on your partner, you need to keep yourself light and not put too much weight on him. This means you have to maintain your own balance by slightly bending your standing leg when you stretch back your free leg, as explained by Vanessa and illustrated by Jennifer and Mariana, so that most of your weight is carried by your standing leg rather than on him. This will also allow you to outstretch your free leg farther. Personally, I found that when a woman leans lightly with her chest rather than heavily with her stomach on me, she becomes lighter.

Pushing with the Standing Leg
You stretch back your free leg until the thumb of its foot touches the floor. At that point you should not just wait there for the man to push you. Instead, you activate yourself by pushing with your standing leg. Failure to do that is the reason why some women are heavy in the walk. Beware not to push yourself so hard that you lose torso contact with your partner. You only push with enough force to make yourself light but remain your leaning position and hence the connection with him.

Walking with Straight Knees
Walking with bent knees is a common issue amongr beginners. Although your standing leg needs to bend a little in order that your free leg can stretch back far, the free leg should remain straight until the weight transfer to that leg completes. You should not use the thigh to move the leg since that could cause the knee to curve. Instead, moving the leg with the hip, and keep the leg straight as you transfer weight to it. Walking with straight legs enhances the elegance of the movement.

Alignment
When walk backwards in parallel system, the free leg should move in line with the hip rather than crossing over the standing leg, otherwise it will cause a distorted line. Even walk in cross system, excessive crossing can still cause a winding path. Instead, you should swivel the hips and move your leg in line with the hip. The hip rotation should be very small, since you are just walking backwards straight along the line of dance, not doing back ocho. Overturning the hips is a cause of instability.

Synchronization
Tango walking is a synchronized movement. The two partners walk not as two independent individuals but as one coherent body. Their legs should start, move and arrive together with exactly the same timing and pace. The woman should closely mirror the man's movement and not land her foot too soon before he finishes his step. A common problem is that she walks on her own and lands her foot on the floor before he lands his foot, causing him to step on her toes. The correct way is holding her free leg outstretched in the air to allow him to push her, along with the push of her own standing leg, so that their acting legs land on the floor at the same time and with the same pace.

Improving Your walk Is the Key to Improve Your Dance
One's walk defines one's tango. The following video, dedicated to Andrea Misse, a brilliant tango dancer died too young in a car accident in 2012, is a good example. Please pay attention to Andrea's walk and see how it relates to her dance. Walking is not only a significant part of tango but also the foundation of the dance because other tango steps are but variations of the walk. For a woman, elegant walk is a guaranteed eye catcher and proof of her ability. By learning to walk elegantly, your tango can be improved in more ways than you can imagine. (See Walk.)