From Steps to Feelings

How Tango Is Danced in Buenos Aires

Many Europeans and Americans dance tango differently than Argentines. For years, I sought a video that authentically captures how tango is danced in Argentina, aiming to change people's perceptions. However, I found it challenging to locate one. Most tango videos are produced by those focusing on their interpretations of the dance. The few that portray authentic Argentine tango are often poorly crafted or marred by distractions. The overwhelming presence of foreigners makes it difficult to film a truly porteño milonga. Recently, I discovered a video by Paul Holman that, in my view, beautifully represents an indigenous milonga.

I appreciate this video not only for its clarity, lighting, and cinematography but also for the producer's insightful perspective. Holman understood that tango is about intimacy, connection, and surrender. He recognized that steps and footwork are secondary, that milonga codes are essential, and that capturing the essence of tango means avoiding distractions. His work allows viewers to sense the atmosphere of a truly exceptional milonga. I've been watching this video a lot lately—just to absorb that soulful scene and remind myself of how one should dance and behave in a milonga.

How Tango Is Danced in Europe and North America

In contrast, tango in Europe and North America often reflects a very different perception. Here's an example from a local milonga.

Dancers often approach tango not to relish the music and share a connection but rather to practice their steps. While many understand that tango is an intimate dance and come hoping to experience that connection, many opt for an open or semi-open hold, distancing themselves from one another and focusing solely on the steps instead of engaging with their partners.

To be fair, this situation is not the worst. You can tell it’s a developing tango community, with some dancers already demonstrating promising skills. However, most remain beginners who haven’t yet mastered the embrace and rely heavily on their arms and hands to lead and follow. Many are rehearsing what they’ve just learned, resulting in emotional detachment, and only a few truly dance to the music. The lack of adherence to milonga codes is apparent—such as verbal invitations, wearing ornaments that rub against their partners, blocking traffic, remaining on the floor during the cortina, and talking loudly over the music. While the music is traditional, it isn’t particularly engaging. Overall, the event feels disorganized. Despite a few moments of better dancing, the milonga as a whole lacks both appeal and satisfaction. Sadly, this is typical of most tango scenes in Europe and North America today.

Another Common Euro-American Tango Scene

Among young people, another type of tango scene is prevalent.

Young dancers often feel compelled to expend energy and express their uniqueness through unconventional approaches. By using an open hold instead of the embrace, they can perform flashy steps. Some have become quite skilled at this style, yet it resembles competitive or athletic dance forms more than social tango. Personally, I struggle to see how this way of dancing tango can provide the same enjoyment as the feeling-oriented milonguero style. I wish there were better reasons why some people insist on this approach when there is clearly a better alternative, aside from a desire to show off, have obstacles, or don't know better. As far as comfort, soulfulness, indulgence, and gratification are concerned, there is truly no comparison.

It’s natural for young people to question traditions. However, when this questioning turns into a rejection of wisdom simply for the sake of being different, it can seem naïve. Older dancers were once young and rebellious too. In fact, many seasoned milongueros can perform Nuevo-style steps better than today’s youth. They stopped because, over time, they gained a deeper understanding—one that many young dancers, with their limited experience, have yet to attain. Most young people learn tango from their peers, who in turn learned from theirs; they simply don’t know another way to dance tango. Once exposed to the milonguero approach, most will abandon their previous style and follow suit.

This Is How Milongueros Emerge

After more than thirty years of trial and error since 1983, some dancers in Europe and North America have begun to move away from exhibitionism, shifting their focus toward the embrace, music, and feelings. As a result, scenes like the following have started to emerge.

Here, the embrace and connection become closer and more intimate. The movements are more feeling-oriented. The steps are simpler, more musical, and more elegant. The milonga is better organized, and antisocial behaviors are less common. Although showy footwork still appears, the embrace still breaks at times, hand use remains habitual for some, music choices are still more dramatic than sentimental, and hastiness still prevails, progress is evident. Such transformations certainly could not occur without struggle, given the strong Western traditions of liberalism, individualism, feminism, and the legacy of the hippie movement. Yet, the dancers in this video demonstrate that change is possible, offering reassurance that there is still hope in tango, in humanity, and in our capacity to adapt.

How Social Tango Should Be Danced

I encourage you to watch Holman’s video again, this time with fresh eyes. The following is an edited version. Pay attention to how the milongueros and milongueras adhere to milonga codes—from seating and making eye contact to using the cabeceo, dancing, and ultimately escorting the woman back to her seat. If you’re curious about the steps they use to maintain such harmony, observe those dancing in the background. But nothing too fancy, really. Their tango is not about the steps.

Their focus is entirely on the music and the feeling—so much so that the steps seem almost irrelevant. For them, dancing tango is about enjoying emotion and intimacy, rather than performing tricks. They dance with complete relaxation, an unhurried pace, subtle movements, and tasteful suspensions. Their steps are simple, unpretentious, and serve only to maintain their unity with their partner. The beauty of their tango lies in the connection and synchronization, not in individual performance. Even their music selections are more sentimental and intriguing than what we often encounter, perfectly matching the tone of their dance.

Watch the woman especially. Her ability to stay attuned to her partner is extraordinary. She leans into him comfortably, her chest gently pressed against his, her arm resting around his shoulder. Her eyes are closed in bliss, fully immersed in the sensations stirred by the music and the whispers of her partner’s body. Her discreet footwork seamlessly keeps her body in harmony with his movements, no matter how he turns.

To tango is to indulge yourself, not to impress others. On a crowded dance floor, who cares about your footwork anyway? What truly matters is the feeling you experience. This is why performance tango doesn’t make sense in the milonga. I hope Holman’s video inspires more American dancers to embrace the milonguero style of tango and accelerates the transformation of our tango from a step-oriented dance to a feeling-oriented one.

P.S.

I've received several comments about my choice of videos and now better understand why political correctness has become a necessity today. Please note: these videos are intended only to illustrate a broader phenomenon. They are neither intended to represent nor capable of capturing the full picture of any community or event.

Women's Walk in Tango

The tango walk is performed in a close embrace by two dancers in a chest-to-chest posture. The man walks forward while the woman steps backward, and they must maintain matching alignment, CBM (Contra Body Movement), dissociation, timing, and pace in perfect coordination, balance, elegance, and harmony. Many students struggle with the work because they lack the required stability, flexibility, and technique. Their posture and habits fall short of tango standards. Their legs and feet are not strong enough to sustain balance, and their individual practices conflict with one another, leading to instability and disharmony in their walk.

There are more exercises designed for women than men in tango, just as there are more fashions, shoes, jewelry and cosmetics designed for women than men. This is not surprising given the significance of beauty to women and the fact that, while men lead women, it's women who beautify the dance. How women walk, therefore, matters more than how men walk in tango. (See The Gender Roles in Tango.)

Muscle Development
To walk well in tango, it's essential to develop the muscles that allow your feet to suck the floor and stay grounded. While dancing a lot helps, targeted exercises can be highly effective. One exercise that I found particularly helpful is demonstrated by Vanessa Gauch in the following video.

When practiced slowly, this exercise can effectively build foot muscles and improve stability and elegance. The routine can be broken down into six steps: (1) Stand on one leg, stretching the other leg forward. (2) Shift your weight forward so it rests on the heel of the front foot and the toes of the back foot. (3) Rock your weight back and forth a few times in this position. (4) Transfer your weight fully onto the front leg. (5) Start the next step by swiveling the hips to move the leg—this adds feminine grace to women's walk. (6) Repeat the sequence with the opposite leg.

Walking Backward
In tango, women mostly walk backward, which is not natural and thus takes a lot of practice to master. The following video, demonstrated also by Vanessa Gauch, can help you understand how it should be done.

Walk in Leaning Position
The type of embrace greatly influences the walk. Walking in close embrace, or an A-shaped frame, differs significantly from walking in open embrace, or an H-shaped frame. A woman using an open dance hold cannot extend her leg back far enough because, without leaning on her partner, it is difficult to maintain balance on one leg while the other leg stretches as far back as possible. Here is an example.

The two teachers are competent dancers, I believe, but the H-shaped frame hindered their performance. In contrast, walking in a close embrace provides greater stability and elegance, as demonstrated by Jennifer Bratt and Ney Melo in the following video.

Note that Jennifer leans on Ney with an increased incline. She slightly bends her standing leg and incorporates a bit of dissociation—tilting her hips upward and downward to allow the free leg to extend further back. Rather than using the ball of the foot, she touches the floor with her big toe. Additionally, her leg is swayed slightly sideways from the hip, in contrast to the forward walk, where the leg is swayed toward the center, as demonstrated in the first video. All these elements contribute to a distinctly feminine touch.

Hip Sway
Experienced tangueras use the hip, rather than the thigh, to initiate leg movement. Here is a good example danced by Mariana Montes and Sebastian Arce:

While their style is too exhibitionist to suit the milonga, in my humble opinion, the opening walk (0:15–0:28) is absolutely gorgeous, appropriate in social dancing, and worth studying. The walk is done in close embrace that enables Mariana to stretch her leg far. Her beautiful hip sway, with a subtle dissociation and very straight leg line, contributes to the unequivocal beauty and elegance of her walk. Note that her leg is also swayed slightly sideways as a result of using the hip to move the leg.

Balance and Lightness
As comfortable as it is to lean on your partner, it is crucial to stay light and avoid placing too much weight on him. To achieve this, you need to maintain your own balance by slightly bending your standing leg when you extend the free leg back, as explained by Vanessa and demonstrated by Jennifer and Mariana. This ensures that most of your weight is supported by your standing leg rather than your partner. Additionally, this technique allows you to extend your free leg farther. Personally, I found that when a woman leans lightly with her chest rather than heavily with her stomach on me, she becomes lighter.

Pushing with the Standing Leg
You stretch your free leg back as far as possible while leaning on you partner until the big toe touches the floor. At that point, you should not simply wait for your partner to push you. Instead, activate yourself by pushing with your standing leg. This small action adds lightness and responsiveness to your walk. However, be careful not to push so hard that you lose torso contact with your partner. Apply just enough force to make yourself feel light while preserving the connection.

Walking with Straight Knees
Many beginners walk with bent knees, which looks inelegant. While the standing leg should bend slightly to support the backward extension, the free leg must remain straight until the weight is fully transferred. Moving the leg from the hip—not the thigh—helps maintain this straightness and adds elegance to the walk.

Contra Body Movement (CBM)
CBM is the natural rotation of the torso toward the moving leg. For example, when the man steps forward with his left leg, his torso naturally rotates to the left, while the woman's torso simultaneously rotates to the right as she steps backward with her right leg. The same applies in reverse. Maintaining synchronized CBM is crucial for stability and harmony in walking.

Dissociation
Dissociation refers to the independent rotation of the upper body relative to the lower body, or vice versa. When your partner walks beside you, you should keep your torso oriented toward him while maintaining your hips aligned with the direction of travel. If he switches to your opposite side, you must adjust the orientation of your torso accordingly. When he leads you to change direction, you should rotate your hips to align with the direction of travel while preserving the torso connection.

Alignment
When walking backward in the parallel system, the free leg should travel in line with the hip, not across the standing leg. Crossing distorts your line and affects balance. Even walking in the cross system, excessive crossing will cause a winding path. Instead, keep the hip rotation minimal—you are simply walking backward along the line of dance in the cross system, not performing a back ocho. Overturning the hips can disrupt stability.

Synchronization
Tango walking is a synchronized movement. The two partners walk not as independent individuals but as one cohesive unit. Their legs must start, travel, and arrive together with exactly the same timing and pace. The woman should closely mirror the man's movements and avoid landing her foot too early, before he completes his step. A common issue is that she walks on her own and lands her foot on the floor before he lands his foot, causing him to step on her toes. The correct way is to hold your free leg extended, allowing the man to push you, along with the push of your own standing leg, so that the moving legs land on the floor at the same time and with the same pace.

The Key to Improve Your Dance
Walking is not just a part of tango—it is the foundation. Your walk defines your tango. All other steps are variations of the walk. For a woman, elegant walk is a guaranteed eye catcher and proof of her ability. By learning to walk elegantly, your tango can be improved in more ways than you can imagine. (See Walk.)