From Steps to Feelings

How Tango Is Danced in Buenos Aires
Many Europeans and Americans dance tango differently from Argentines. For years, I searched for a video that truly captures how tango is danced in Argentina, hoping to shift people’s perceptions. But I struggled to find one. Most tango videos are created by those focused on their own interpretation of the dance. The few that do reflect authentic Argentine tango are often poorly made or include distracting elements. Because of the heavy presence of foreigners, it indeed is difficult to film a genuinely porteño milonga.

Only recently did I come across a video by Paul Holman that, to me, represents an indigenous milonga.

I appreciate this video not only for its clarity, lighting, and cinematography but also for the producer's insightful perspective. Holman understood that tango is about intimacy, connection, and surrender. He recognized that steps and footwork are secondary, that milonga codes are essential, and that capturing the essence of tango means avoiding distractions. His work allows viewers to sense the atmosphere of a truly exceptional milonga. I've been watching this video a lot lately—just to absorb that soulful scene and remind myself of how one should dance and behave in a milonga.

How Tango Is Danced in Europe and North America
In contrast, tango in Europe and North America often reflects a very different perception. Here's an example from a local milonga.

They dance tango not to savor the music or share intimacy with a partner, but to display or practice steps. I believe most of these people know that tango is an intimate dance, and they come because they want to taste that apple. Yet, hypocritically, they use an open hold to replace the embrace, distance themselves from each other, and focus solely on the steps rather than the music, partner, and feelings.

To be fair, this is not the worst case. One can tell it’s a developing tango community. Some dancers already show promising skill. Still, most remain beginners who haven’t yet mastered the embrace. They rely heavily on arms and hands to lead and follow. Many are rehearsing what they’ve just learned. Emotional detachment is common, and only a few seem to truly dance to the music. The lack of adherence to milonga codes is apparent—verbal invitation, wearing ornaments that rub against their partner, blocking traffic, staying on the floor during the cortina, talking loudly over the music. The music itself, while traditional, is not particularly engaging. Overall, the event feels disorganized. Despite a few isolated moments of better dancing, the milonga as a whole is neither compelling nor satisfying. Sadly, this is typical of most tango scenes in Europe and North America today.

Another Common Euro-American Tango Scene
Common among our young people is another kind of tango scene showing below.

Young people often feel compelled to expend energy and demonstrate their uniqueness through unconventional approaches. By using an open hold instead of the embrace, they can perform flashy steps. Some have become quite skilled at it. Yet, this style resembles competitive or athletic dance forms more than social tango. Personally, I find it hard to see how this way of dancing tango can offer the same enjoyment as the feeling-oriented milonguero style. I wish there were better reasons why some people insist on doing this when there is clearly a better way, except they want to show off, have obstacles, or don't know better. As far as comfort, soulfulness, indulgence, and gratification are concerned, there is truly no comparison.

It’s natural for young people to question traditions. But when that questioning becomes a rejection of wisdom simply for the sake of being different, it can feel naïve. Older dancers were once young and rebellious too. In fact, many seasoned milongueros can perform Nuevo-style steps better than today’s youth. They stopped because, with time, they gained a deeper understanding—one that many young dancers, with limited experience, have yet to discover. Most young people learn tango from their peers, who in turn learned from theirs. They simply don’t know another way to dance tango. Once they are exposed to the milonguero approach, most will renounce theirs and follow suit.

This Is How Milongueros Emerge
After more than thirty years of trial and error since 1983, some dancers in Europe and North America have begun moving away from exhibitionism, shifting their focus to the embrace, music, and feelings. As a result, scenes like the following have started to appear.

Their embrace and connection become closer and more intimate. Their movement is now more feeling-oriented. Steps are simpler, more musical, and more elegant. The milonga is better organized. Antisocial behaviors are less seen. Though showy footwork still appears, the embrace still breaks at times, hand use still remains habitual for some, the music choices are still more dramatic than sentimental, and hastiness is still common, progress, nevertheless, is clear. Such transformation certainly could not come without struggle, given the strong Western traditions of liberalism, individualism, feminism, and the legacy of the hippie movement. But the dancers in this video prove that change is possible. It reassures us that there is still a lot of hope in tango, in humanity, and in our capacity to adapt.

How Social Tango Should Be Danced
I encourage you to watch Holman’s video again, this time with fresh eyes. The following is an edited version. Please pay attention to how the milongueros and milongueras follow the milonga codes—from seating, making eye contact, using the cabeceo, to dancing and finally escorting the woman back to her seat. If you're curious about the steps they use to maintain such harmony, you can watch those dancing in the background. But nothing fancy really. Their tango is not about steps.

Their focus is entirely on the music and the feeling—so much so that the steps seem almost irrelevant. For them, dancing tango is about enjoying emotion and intimacy, not about performing tricks. They dance with complete relaxation, an unhurried pace, subtle movements, and tasteful suspensions. Their steps are simple, unpretentious, and serve only to maintain unity with the partner. The beauty of their tango lies in the connection and synchronization, not in individual performance. Even their music selections are more sentimental and intriguing than ours, perfectly matching the tone of their dance.

Watch the woman especially. Her ability to stay attuned to her partner is extraordinary. She leans into him comfortably, her chest gently pressed to his, her arm resting around his shoulder. Her eyes are closed in bliss, fully immersed in the sensations stirred by the music and the whispers of her partner’s body. Her discreet footwork seamlessly keeps her body in harmony with his movements, no matter how he turns.

To tango is to indulge yourself, not to impress others. On a crowded dance floor, who cares about your footwork anyway? What truly matters is the feeling you experience. This is why performance tango doesn’t make sense in the milonga. I hope Holman’s video inspires more American dancers to embrace the milonguero style of tango and accelerates the transformation of our tango from a step-oriented dance to a feeling-oriented one.

P.S.
I've received several comments about my choice of videos and now better understand why political correctness has become a necessity today. Please note: these videos are intended only to illustrate a broader phenomenon. They are neither intended to represent nor capable of capturing the full picture of any community or event.

Women's Walk in Tango

The tango walk is performed in a close embrace by two dancers in a chest-to-chest posture. The man walks forward while the woman steps backward, and they must maintain matching alignment, CBM (Contra Body Movement), dissociation, timing, and pace, achieving perfect coordination, balance, elegance, and harmony. Many students struggle with the work because they lack the required stability, flexibility, and technique. Their posture and habits fall short of tango standards. Their legs and feet are not strong enough to sustain balance, and their individual practices conflict with one another, leading to instability and disharmony in their walk.

There are more exercises designed for women than men in tango, just as there are more fashions, shoes, jewelry and cosmetics designed for women than men. This is not surprising given the significance of beauty to women and the fact that, while men lead women, it's women who beautify the dance. How women walk, therefore, matters more than how men walk in tango. (See The Gender Roles in Tango.)

Muscle Development
To walk well in tango, it's essential to develop the muscles that allow your feet to suck the floor and stay grounded. While dancing a lot helps, targeted exercises can be highly effective. One exercise that I found particularly helpful is demonstrated by Vanessa Gauch in the following video.

When practiced slowly, this exercise can effectively build foot muscles and improve stability and elegance. The routine can be broken down into six steps: (1) Stand on one leg, stretching the other leg forward. (2) Shift your weight forward so it rests on the heel of the front foot and the toes of the back foot. (3) Rock your weight back and forth a few times in this position. (4) Transfer your weight fully onto the front leg. (5) Start the next step by swiveling the hips to move the leg—this adds feminine grace to women's walk. (6) Repeat the sequence with the opposite leg.

Walking Backward
In tango, women mostly walk backward, which is not natural and thus takes a lot of practice to master. The following video, demonstrated also by Vanessa Gauch, can help you understand how it should be done.

Walk in Leaning Position
The type of embrace greatly influences the walk. Walking in close embrace, or an A-shaped frame, differs significantly from walking in open embrace, or an H-shaped frame. A woman using an open dance hold cannot extend her leg back far enough because, without leaning on her partner, it is difficult to maintain balance on one leg while the other leg stretches as far back as possible. Here is an example.

The two teachers are competent dancers, I believe, but the H-shaped frame hindered their performance. In contrast, walking in a close embrace provides greater stability and elegance, as demonstrated by Jennifer Bratt and Ney Melo in the following video.

Note that Jennifer leans on Ney with an increased incline. She slightly bends her standing leg and incorporates a bit of dissociation—tilting her hips upward and downward to allow the free leg to extend further back. Rather than using the ball of the foot, she touches the floor with her big toe. Additionally, her leg is swayed slightly sideways from the hip, in contrast to the forward walk, where the leg is swayed toward the center, as demonstrated by Vanessa Gauch in the first video. All these elements contribute to a distinctly feminine touch.

Hip Sway
Experienced tangueras use the hip, rather than the thigh, to initiate leg movement. Here is a good example danced by Mariana Montes and Sebastian Arce:

While their style is too exhibitionist to suit the milonga, in my humble opinion, the opening walk (0:15–0:28) is absolutely gorgeous, appropriate in social dancing, and worth studying. The walk is done in close embrace that enables Mariana to stretch her leg far. Her beautiful hip sway, with a subtle dissociation and very straight leg line, contributes to the unequivocal beauty and elegance of her walk. Note that her leg is also swayed slightly sideways as a result of using the hip to move the leg.

Balance and Lightness
As comfortable as it is to lean on your partner, it is crucial to stay light and avoid placing too much weight on him. To achieve this, you need to maintain your own balance by slightly bending your standing leg when you extend the free leg back, as explained by Vanessa and demonstrated by Jennifer and Mariana. This ensures that most of your weight is supported by your standing leg rather than your partner. Additionally, this technique allows you to extend your free leg farther. Personally, I found that when a woman leans lightly with her chest rather than heavily with her stomach on me, she becomes lighter.

Pushing with the Standing Leg
While leaning on you partner, you stretch your free leg back as far as possible until the big toe touches the floor. At that point, you should not simply wait for your partner to push you. Instead, activate yourself by pushing with your standing leg. This small action adds lightness and responsiveness to your walk. However, be careful not to push so hard that you lose torso contact with your partner. Apply just enough force to make yourself feel light while preserving the connection.

Walking with Straight Knees
Many beginners tend to walk with bent knees, which looks inelegant. While the standing leg should bend slightly to support the backward extension, the free leg must remain straight until the weight is fully transferred. Moving the leg from the hip—not the thigh—helps maintain this straightness and adds elegance to the walk.

Contra Body Movement (CBM) and Dissociation
CBM refers to the torso's natural rotation toward the opposite moving leg. For example, the man's torso rotates left when his left leg steps forward, while the woman's torso rotates right when her right leg steps backward, and vice versa. They must walk with synchronized CBM.

Dissociation refers to the torso's spiral-like movement toward the partner. When walking side by side, their torsos must face each other while their hips remain aligned with the direction of movement. They need to adjust their torso positioning when transitioning from walking on one side of the partner to the other.

Alignment
When walking backward in the parallel system, the free leg should travel in line with the hip, not across the standing leg. Crossing distorts your line and affects balance. Even walking in the cross system, excessive crossing will cause a winding path. Instead, keep the hip rotation minimal—you are simply walking backward along the line of dance in the cross system, not performing a back ocho. Overturning the hips can disrupt stability.

Synchronization
Tango walking is a synchronized movement. The two partners walk not as independent individuals but as one cohesive unit. Their legs must start, travel, and arrive together with exactly the same timing and pace. The woman should closely mirror the man's movements and avoid landing her foot too early, before he completes his step. A common issue is that she walks on her own and lands her foot on the floor before he lands his foot, causing him to step on her toes. The correct way is to hold the free leg extended, allowing the man to push her, along with the push of her own standing leg, so that their active legs land on the floor at the same time and with the same pace.

The Key to Improve Your Dance
Your walk defines your tango. The following video, dedicated to Andrea Misse, a brilliant tango dancer died too young in a car accident in 2012, is a good example. Notice how Andrea’s elegant walk is central to her overall dance. Walking is not just a part of tango—it is the foundation. All other steps are variations of the walk. For a woman, elegant walk is a guaranteed eye catcher and proof of her ability. By learning to walk elegantly, your tango can be improved in more ways than you can imagine. (See Walk.)