A Dance That Teaches People to Love

The concept of love encompasses a wide array of emotions. To love tango is to be captivated by the dance, enveloped in its embrace with an almost addictive fervor. To love a country is to feel a profound connection and devotion to its land and people. To love a child means to cherish, nurture, and protect them. To love a friend evokes a deep sense of closeness and appreciation. To love someone for their beauty, intelligence, talent, or character is to hold them in the highest regard. To love someone of the opposite sex involves experiencing physical and romantic attraction.

However, no single definition fully encapsulates the essence of true love. It is an intense blend of sentiments—the deepest appreciation, admiration, adoration, reverence, attraction, affection, and attachment toward another. This love is so profound it compels one to sacrifice everything for the well-being of the beloved. True love is inherently altruistic, free of ego and pride. It is manifested in selflessness, kindness, generosity, and patience. It embodies trust, devotion, surrender, obedience, support, accommodation, tolerance, endurance, forgiveness, and protection—much like a mother cares for her children and how tango partners yield to one another in pursuit of unity and joy.

Many young people today mistakenly equate possessiveness and desire with love instead of recognizing it as dedication and sacrifice. They often view relationships through an egocentric lens, taking love for granted. Some perceive it as a mere feeling, while others believe it should flow effortlessly without commitment or responsibility. These misconceptions contribute to the widespread disintegration of relationships.

The truth is, love is not just a fleeting passion; it is persistent daily actions. Love is defined not by feelings but by deeds. It is not about receiving; it’s about giving. Rather than an unfulfilled longing, love is a shared commitment in which both partners actively seek to foster each other's happiness. More than a spontaneity, love demands a solemn responsibility. It is not a raging storm but a steady stream. Like the synergy essential in tango, love flourishes only through continuous and reciprocal effort.

Tango is often likened to love because both demand a delicate balance between two distinct yet complementary roles. Both require submission, devotion, understanding, trust, patience, cooperation, and profound mutual respect. Thus, the wisdom contained within tango extends beyond the dance floor, offering a universal blueprint for achieving unity and harmony in all human relationships.

In love, as in tango, men and women embody different roles (see The Gender Roles in Tango). Men, typically more physically robust and goal-oriented, express love through providing, protecting, and supporting—often in practical ways that may not fully resonate with women’s emotional sensibilities. A man does not feel truly loved unless he is appreciated, revered, and respected. Women, by contrast, are generally more emotionally attuned and perceive love through adoration, cherishing, protection, and romantic pursuit. A woman does not feel fully loved if her emotional and romantic needs are unmet. Thus, men must become more considerate, romantic, and attentive, while women should cultivate appreciation, respect, and agreeableness.

Recognizing and embracing these intrinsic differences is crucial—not only in tango but in life itself. Tango fosters this understanding. It teaches teamwork, mutual commitment, cooperation, accommodation, and compromise, enabling a partnership where each individual’s needs are respected and fulfilled (see Tango and Gender Interdependence).

The gift of love, like the gift of tango, enriches every sphere of human connection—between spouses, friends, colleagues, citizens, and dance partners alike. Human beings are fundamentally interdependent; thus, the imperative to love one another is not merely moral but existential. Like hatred, love is reciprocal: when we offer kindness, others respond in kind. In this sense, love is both an act of will and the natural fruit of sustained generosity.

In stark contrast to ideologies that exalt egoism, selfishness, self-interest, antagonism, and aggression, love is rooted in altruism, compassion, and generosity. It stands in opposition to the individualistic and feminist ideologies that increasingly dominate contemporary discourse on relationships. Love is not only a virtue but a vital skill—one that must be cultivated for society to remain healthy, stable, and peaceful. Just as mastering tango requires dedication and technique, so too does learning to build loving, harmonious relationships. Of all the skills necessary for societal well-being, none is more critical than the ability to love. This philosophy—and this discipline—should be imparted to our youth at every level of education.

Tragically, the American educational system has neglected this foundational lesson. Instead, it has embraced ideologies rooted in capitalism, egocentrism, liberalism, individualism, feminism, and Darwinism. These ideologies encourage young people to become self-centered, competitive, disagreeable, and aggressive—qualities contrary to the spirit of love and tango. The consequences have been devastating. An internal Department of Homeland Security report dated March 1, 2017, noted that most foreign-born terrorists operating within the United States became radicalized only after living in the country for several years—a stark indication that our ideological climate contributes to alienation and extremism. These same ideologies have sown discord, hostility, division, and dysfunction across American government and society, fueling greed, intolerance, hatred, fractured relationships, divorce, violence, crime—and even strife within the tango community itself.

Few forces have done greater harm to the United States than radical ideologies glorifying egoism, selfishness, greed, individualism, resentment, antagonism, hatred, and belligerence. This country is in desperate need of love, and tango—a dance that teaches people to love—may offer a path forward. (See A Dance That Challenges Modern Ideologies.)