Tango is not just a fascinating dance—it is a rich philosophy, culture, and way of life. The search of tango is the search of connection, love, fellowship, unity, harmony, and beauty—an idealism that is not consistent with the dehumanizing reality of the modern world. The world divides us into individuals, but tango brings us together as a team. In tango we are not individualists, feminists, nationalists, Democrats, or Republicans—we are simply human, intertwined and interdependent. Tango invites us to tear down walls, build bridges, and rediscover our shared humanity through connection, cooperation, accommodation, and compromise. It is a dance that reminds the world how to love.



December 20, 2023

Tango and Gender Interdependence


Interdependence lies at the heart of human relationships. There is immense value in the interdependence between the two sexes. Men and women have different biological characteristics, strengths, weaknesses, expertise, experiences, and perspectives. They bear different responsibilities and share different tasks in teamwork. Each gender offers discrete forms of emotional support and companionship, makes distinct contributions, and brings different qualities to a fulfilled life. Happiness for either gender hinges on the presence and contribution of the other. Neither gender can be happy without the other.

Feminism blindly opposes women's dependence on men, but this dependence—far from being a flaw—is a product of natural selection, underpinning sustainable relationships that benefit the species and its offspring. Men and women are, in a fundamental sense, made for each other. Male androgens enhance physical strength and competitiveness, making men effective fighters and protectors. Female estrogen, on the other hand, fosters softness and emotional sensitivity, making women nurturing mothers.

Women's beauty awakens desire in men, encouraging human connection and continuity. Women's tenderness and emotionalism complement men’s toughness and strength, fostering mutual attraction. While women's petiteness and physical vulnerability may increase need for support, these enhance their sensitivity to other's vulnerabilities, making them great caregivers. Women's hormonal fluctuations tied to their fertility, and their need for assistance during pregnancy and childbirth, contribute to their dependence, but that is not inherently negative. The delicacy and reliance of women serve as a crucial incentive for men, making men more responsible, and giving men immense satisfaction. These dynamics strengthen bonds, promote mutual care and empathy, and foster a harmonious partnership built on shared responsibilities.

Men, too, are deeply dependent on women in numerous areas, including romance, household management, companionship, emotional support, parenting, elder care, and much more. Women's qualities like soft-heartedness, attentiveness, sentimentalism, attention to detail, aesthetic sensibility, enrich and complement men's areas where they benefit from women's inputs and support.

This mutual dependence and attraction between the sexes have long been a wellspring of artistic expression. Tango, perhaps more than any other dance, captures and celebrates this dynamic. Through intimate physical connection and emotional interplay, tango beautifully balances women's delicacy with men's strength, offering deep satisfaction to both. Women are drawn to tango as it allows them to express attachment and dependence, while men find satisfaction in women's trust and allure (see Balancing Reliance and Lightness in Tango).

Years of observation and experience have taught me that the most profound tango is one that nourishes the innate needs of both sexes, rather than simply dazzling the audience. Skilled tangueras convey women's delicacy and dependence on men while bringing men contentment with their femininity. Similarly, adept tangueros fulfill women's attachment and dependence while allowing their feminine beauty to shine. Mastering these dynamics is essential for any tango dancer, regardless of gender, and should be the pursuit of every tango learner (see Artistic Sublimation and Vulgarism in Tango).