The Elegance of the Milonguero Style

In contrast to some tango styles that remind me of a bustling casino, the milonguero style of tango reminds me of a Zen garden—an oasis of austerity, serenity, peace and natural beauty designed for quiet contemplation. This style prioritizes inner experiences, rendering outward appearances less important. It is danced using simple and natural steps, with minimal adornments to avoid unnecessary complication or distraction, allowing dancers to focus inwardly on feelings.

This, however, does not diminish its aesthetic value. On the contrary, the style exudes a natural, simple and elegant beauty that is unparalleled. The following is an example.

Dancing with cadencia
The key element responsible for the elegance of the style is cadencia. The woman leans on the man with her chest gently pressing against his chest, enabling him to use the connection to swing her torso, causing her hip and leg to dangle in a chain reaction. Note that the woman does not use her thigh to move her leg, but lets her leg follow the motion of the torso and hip to sway. Her attention is on the lateral motion rather than the vertical action of stepping down. This allows her body to swing gracefully with each step.

Dancing with hips
In doing so she needs to swivel her hips so that her free leg may take advantage of the inertia to swing either in roughly the same direction, or reversely in the opposite direction. Since her torso is attached to his torso, she needs to swivel her hips to dance around him. She needs to swivel her hips when she does movements that involve turning, such as front ocho, back ocho, molinete, etc. In short, hip rotation is used all the time in her dance, highlighting the flexibility and beauty of her feminine body. The milonguero style does not emphasize footwork, so she can focus on presenting the beauty of her body, making the rotation of her hips graceful, refined and noticeable, adding elegance to her dance (see Dancing with Hips).

Dancing slower
To infuse elegance into the dance, it is essential to moderate the tempo. Racing to keep up with the beat often leads to a loss of grace, a common issue in tango. Instead of chasing the rhythm, the man should provide the woman with ample time to execute each step, while the woman should focus on crafting her movement with poise and sophistication to heighten its elegance, as demonstrated by the couple above. The following is another example.

Dancing with simple and natural steps
Another element pertinent to the elegance of the style is using simple and natural steps. Some tango styles are known for their intricate footwork and showy figures, which, although may be beautiful in some way, lack naturalness and elegance. The following is an example.

As you can see, while impressive by some standards, a display like this relies on complex figures, exaggerated movements, excessive embellishments, and elaborate choreography. It looks busy, garish, far-fetched, and beat-chasing, but lacks the confidence, serenity, ease, simplicity, naturalness, and elegance of the milonguero style. Moreover, it does not align with the melancholy mood of the music (see Dancing to Melody - Poema).

In contrast, the previous couples employ austere steps, allowing them to focus inwardly on quiet contemplation. The man leads by gently swinging the woman's body. The woman maintains a tall and straight posture while swinging gracefully, letting her intrinsic, natural beauty manifest itself.

Audrey Hepburn Said, "Elegance is the only beauty that never fades." I am convinced of that (see Embracing Elegance).

Partner-Centered Leading vs. Self-Centered Leading

Leaders are either self-centered or partner-centered. A partner-centered leader dances for his partner. He leads her to dance in a thoughtful, gentle, patient and attentive way. A self-centered leader, on the contrary, focuses on his own performance and tends to compel the woman do things beyond her comfortable zone. For example, he leads her to take very big steps, which a partner-centered leader would break into smaller steps; or leads her to chase the beats, whereas a partner-centered leader would allow her time to finish her steps; or leads her to do arbitrary figures, whereas a partner-centered leader would use simple steps to display her natural beauty; or shows off his skills and uses her as a foil to his own exhibition, whereas a partner-centered leader would accommodate her, pamper her, shine her and let her be the center of attention.

Here is an example of self-centered leading.

In this example, the man focused only on the routines and failed to display the woman's beauty. He prioritized his personal performance while neglecting his responsibility to make his partner feel good and enjoy the dance. He hastily chased the beats and rushed the woman to do awkward steps and drastic turns regardless of the lamentable mood of the music. As a result, his self-exhibition overshadowed her performance.

In contrast, a partner-centered leader dances for the woman. Here is an example of partner-centered leading.

In this example the man didn't force the woman to take awkward steps, as being the case in the first clip, but led her to dance in simple and natural steps. He didn't just focus on his routines and forget about the music, as being the case in the first clip, but let her enjoy, resonate with and dance to the music. He didn't coerce her with the arms and hands, as being the case in the first clip, but kept her in the comfort of his embrace and led her very gently with his torso. He didn't lead her without thinking, as being the case in the first clip, but carefully maintained her axis and led her by inertia to make the movement easy for her. He didn't force her to rotate on a tilted axis, as being the case in the first clip, but adjusted his position to accommodate her turns on her own axis. He didn't rush her to chase the beat and take drastic actions, as being the case in the first clip, but danced slower and used more pauses to reflect the melancholy mood of the song while giving her time to finish each step before he took the next lead.

These made it possible for her to concentrate inwardly on feelings and the quality of her dance. Because the woman dances around the man, she needs to swivel her hips and pivot her lower body with one leg in order to step to his side with the other leg. After each step she also needs to pivot and turn back her hips to get ready for the next step in a different direction. This technique, known as dissociation, complicates her movement and takes more time for her to complete each step. The man must understand that and allow her time to finish the step before taking the next lead, as exemplified by this man in the video. We can tell her appreciation from the way she looked at him at the end.

Please watch the video again in playback speed 0.75 in full screen to see how beautiful a woman's dance can be when she has a good leader. I recommend using this video as a teaching tool. Every tango man, novice and veteran alike, can learn something about how to lead the woman from this video. (See The Elegance of the Mionguero Style.)

Issues on Cabeceo

Last week, I attended En Tu Abrazo - Encuentro at Grand Geneva, Wisconsin—a mesmerizing tango event featuring experienced and like-minded dancers, a friendly dance environment governed by milonga codes, excellent DJs, golden-age music, and a high level of dancing, all reminiscent of a traditional Buenos Aires milonga.

The event was held in a rectangular room with fixed seating. Men and women sat separately on opposite sides of the room, requiring them to use cabeceo to find a partner. This arrangement created a cohesive atmosphere, as participants had to pay attention to one another and engage emotionally even before the dance began.

However, doing cabeceo from a distance proved to be a challenge. First, the woman you attempt to invite might be seated among others who also wish to dance with you. Second, when two or more women respond to your cabeceo, how can they discern whom exactly you are inviting? Third, if two men nod at the same woman, how can either man determine whether she is responding to him or the other? Finally, her response might be too subtle to notice.

Because cabeceo is still a relatively new practice in our milongas, I made more mistakes at this event than I have ever made in Buenos Aires, even with such an experienced crowd. I later learned that some women had tried to cabeceo me, but I failed to notice. On one occasion, I walked up to a woman who hadn’t responded to my cabeceo, but I mistakenly thought she had. On another occasion, the woman who accepted my cabeceo wasn’t looking at me as I approached, and I ended up dancing with the woman sitting next to her, who kept her eyes on me instead. Twice, I walked toward someone only to find that they had accepted other's invitation. There were also instances where two women stood up as I arrived at their table, each thinking she was the one I had invited.

In retrospect, I believe I should be more mindful that cabeceo is difficult to detect from a distance and should be made clearer and less ambiguous. I should not only signal to the woman I am cabeceoing but also ensure that the women sitting next to her understand exactly whom I am inviting. I should stand up to perform cabeceo with a woman seated behind others. I should look around to confirm that she is communicating with me and not with someone behind or beside me. When inviting a woman seated far away, I should move closer to her before initiating cabeceo. Additionally, as I walk toward the woman who has accepted my cabeceo, I should maintain eye contact with her and avoid making eye contact with any other woman to prevent confusion.

There are also issues on the part of women. I must mention that in the milongas of Buenos Aires, porteñas behave very differently from women in this country. Unlike our women, who often talk to one another and pay little attention to the men, Argentine women actively participate in the invitation process by making eye contact with the men and responding to their cabeceo. If they are uncertain about your cabeceo, they might tilt their head, lean sideways, or even stand up to make themselves more visible. They may point at themselves with a questioning expression, look around to check if someone else is responding to your cabeceo, or use lip or hand gestures to communicate with you. Argentine women do not maintain a blank expression, as our women often do. Instead, they smile, nod, or wink to indicate their interest in dancing with you. As you approach, they gaze at you intently, ensuring there is no doubt about your mutual agreement. In other words, Argentine women are much more proactive and expressive, which makes a significant difference. Their approach not only reduces errors between the two parties but also prevents misunderstandings involving third parties. Furthermore, such enthusiasm fosters a more intimate and satisfying dance experience.

Here again, we see the influence of culture on tango (see Tango: Historical and Cultural Impacts). American culture tends to place excessive emphasis on the self. We often come across as egocentric, arrogant, indifferent, or even hostile toward others. Many of us have strong egos and are reluctant to show that we need others or seek their invitation for a dance. Additionally, we are easily hurt when we don’t receive the response we expect (see Tango and Individualism). In contrast, Argentinians are much more friendly and approachable. Porteñas often find ways to let me know they want to dance with me and where their seats are, making it easier for me to cabeceo them. Obviously, in a culture like that, dancing tango becomes an infinitely more enjoyable experience.

A Dance that Teaches People to Love

We use the word "love" to express a vast range of emotions. To love tango is to be enthralled by and addicted to the dance. To love a country is to feel a profound connection and devotion to it. To love a child is to cherish and nurture them. To love a friend is to feel a deep sense of closeness and appreciation. To love someone for their exceptional physical attributes, intelligence, talent, or character is to hold them in high esteem and admiration. To love someone of the opposite gender is to feel sexually attracted to them.

Yet, none of these definitions alone fully encapsulates the true essence of love. True love is an intense fusion of all these emotions—it is the deepest appreciation, admiration, adoration, reverence, attraction, affection, and attachment to someone for whom one is willing to sacrifice everything. True love is altruistic; it knows no ego or pride. It is selfless, kind, generous, and patient. It trusts, devotes, surrenders, obeys, gives, supports, accommodates, tolerates, endures, forgives, and protects—just as a mother cares for her children and, ideally, how tango partners engage with each other to find unity and enjoyment in their dance.

Many young people mistake possessiveness for love. They adopt an egocentric perspective, taking love for granted. Some believe love is merely a feeling, while others assume they deserve love without any obligation or effort. These misconceptions lead to countless failed relationships. The truth is, love is selfless—it is not just an emotion but, more importantly, constant actions. Love is not about receiving but giving. It is not an unrequited affection but a mutual relationship where both partners strive to do their best to please the other. Love is not only a gift but also a responsibility. It should never be taken for granted because, much like the synergy in tango, love flourishes only when both partners reciprocate and collaborate. Tango is often compared to love because both involve a dynamic relationship in which two individuals play distinct but complementary roles. Both require submission, commitment, understanding, patience, cooperation, and mutual respect. The essence of tango holds universal significance, demonstrating the path to unity and harmony in all relationships.

Men and women play different roles in love, just as they do in tango (see The Gender Roles in Tango). Men are generally physically stronger and more goal-oriented. For them, love is about providing, supporting, and protecting—often more in a practical than an emotional sense, which may differ from women's perspectives. A man does not feel truly loved unless he is appreciated, revered, and respected. Women, on the other hand, are more emotionally attuned. Love, for them, means being adored, cherished, protected, and romantically pursued. A woman does not feel truly loved if her emotional and romantic needs are unmet. In essence, men must learn to be more romantic, considerate, and thoughtful, while women must learn to be more appreciative, respectful, and agreeable. Men and women are inherently different and assume distinct roles in life and in tango. Learning tango fosters an understanding of these needs, helps individuals embrace their respective roles, nurtures teamwork, and cultivates harmony through mutual commitment, respect, submission, cooperation, and compromise (see Tango and Gender Interdependence).

The gift of love, like the gift of tango, enhances our relationships—not only as spouses but also as friends, colleagues, citizens, and dance partners. We all need and depend on one another; therefore, love is essential for our collective well-being. Like hatred, love is reciprocal—when we extend kindness to others, they respond in kind. In this sense, love is both a determined act of generosity and the natural outcome of sustained effort. Unlike ideologies that promote selfishness, self-interest, aggression, and antagonism, love is the principle of achieving unity and harmony through selflessness, kindness, compassion, cooperation, and generosity. It stands in contrast to both individualism and feminism in its approach to relationships. Love is also a vital skill—one that every member of society must develop. Just as one must learn techniques to create harmony in tango, one must acquire the skills necessary to build harmonious relationships. Among all the abilities required for a healthy, functional, stable, and peaceful society, love is undoubtedly the most important. This philosophy and skill should be instilled in our youth at every level of education.

Regrettably, the American education system has utterly failed in this regard. Schools today are dominated by ideologies rooted in capitalism, egocentrism, liberalism, individualism, and feminism. These teachings encourage young men and women to be self-centered, independent, disagreeable, competitive, and aggressive—qualities that stand in direct opposition to love. The consequences have been disastrous. According to an internal Department of Homeland Security report dated March 1, 2017, most foreign-born terrorists operating in the United States become radicalized only after spending several years in the country. This suggests that our own extreme ideologies contribute to their radicalization. These same ideologies also fuel discord, division, hostility, and dysfunction in our government, as well as greed, conflict, intolerance, hatred, broken relationships, divorce, violence, and crime in society—and even issues within the tango community itself.

Few forces have harmed America more than narrow-minded radical ideologies that teach people to be egoistic, selfish, greed, individualistic, disagreeable, resentful, antagonistic, hateful and hawkish. This country is in desperate need of love, and tango—a dance that teaches people to love (see Tango and Individualism).

Dancing to Rhythm and Melody in Milonguero Style

Rhythm, defined as the duration and accents in music characterized by regular and interrupted beats, is the most essential element of music. It can exist independently of melody, as exemplified by the drumbeats in primitive music. Rhythm compels us to dance, as we instinctively step to the pulses of the music (see Tango Music and Its Danceability).

However, music is more than just rhythm. It also encompasses melody—the sweet, continuous, and flowing tone that adds emotion, beauty, and fluidity to music. Melody inspires movement that is emotional, smooth, and graceful, as we strive to express the feeling, fluency, and elegance it conveys.

Some tango songs, such as those by Di Sarli and D'Arienzo, are more rhythmic and easier to dance to, while others, like those by Pugliese and Troilo, are more melodic and challenging to follow. Rhythmic music is particularly suited to the milonguero style of tango, danced in close embrace, as it facilitates the pulsating and synchronous movements of the two connected bodies. This creates a sensation that is both intimate and pleasurable, making the style especially appealing to dancers who prioritize emotional connection and feeling.

Melodic music is best suited to the Villa Urquiza style of tango, danced in a loose embrace that emphasizes flashy performance, as it facilitates improvisational rather than rhythmic movements. Often described as stylish, elegant, and showy, this style appeals to dancers who focus on movement and visual impact (see The Styles of Tango).

The milonguero style is the dominant form of tango in Argentina, Uruguay, Spain, and Italy, largely due to the cultural ties between these countries (see Tango: Historical and Cultural Impacts). In recent years, it has also been gaining popularity in other parts of the world. The following video provides an excellent representation of this style.

This video has been shared by this blogger before, so you may have already watched it. However, to illustrate how the milonguero style is danced, I’d like to draw your attention again to the highlighted fragments below.

17:24 - 17:50 (26 seconds)
This fragment is a classic example of how the milonguero style is danced—it is danced with simple and rhythmic steps. Take note of the rhythmic pattern used by the couple, which sounds like: 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and, 5 6 7 and 8 9 10 and, or slow and slow and slow and slow and, quick quick quick and quick quick quick and. The choreography may be simple, but the speed, direction, and length of the steps are varied. Most steps are small, with the occasional large step woven in. Forward, side, and back steps, as well as rock steps and turns, are seamlessly blended to make the dance captivating.

As you can see, while simple, the dance is mesmerizing. The woman seems deeply absorbed in it—nestling in his arms and dancing in complete harmony with him. She remains entirely comfortable with every movement he leads, no matter how simple, and does not go beyond her role to add unnecessary complexity, noise, or discord. Her steps are subtle and unobtrusive, with no embellishments aimed at impressing others. Her focus is entirely on the music and the emotions it evokes. From her facial expression, one can clearly see the profound power of such simple and rhythmic motions.

1:10 - 1:38 (28 seconds) and 13:40 - 14:04 (24 seconds)
These are two additional examples, showcasing rhythmic, simple, and synchronized steps that emphasize the cohesion and harmony of the partnership rather than individual performance.

If these are true representations of the milonguero style, then our tango—though danced in close embrace—does not align with this style. The tango that most Americans dance tends to be overly elaborate, less rhythmic, less cohesive, and not well-synchronized. Even the music played at our milongas is often too melodic, reflecting only our interpretation of tango.

I doubt that I, or even a milonguero, could truly dance the milonguero style with most women in this country, as achieving that level of cohesion requires a partner well-versed in synchronization (see Driving and Synchronization). To dance as one body with the man, the woman must relinquish her independence, ego, habit of acting on her own, and desire to stand out. She must surrender herself to the man and follow him unconditionally.

I bring this up because many women in this country seem to hold a different philosophy. They reject the notions of surrender, obedience, and submission, and are often uncomfortable with intimacy with men. Their femininity—or "gentle and quiet soul," as the Bible puts it—has been influenced by ideologies that promote self-centeredness, independence, individualism, disagreement, rebellion, and aggression. They only know how to be themselves but don't know how to be one with another person. They try too hard to impress but overlook the one thing that a woman must do well first in tango dancing—surrender. Consequently, they miss out the magic that tango offers them.

5:45 - 6:13 (28 seconds) and 18:40 - 19:15 (35 seconds)
The milonguero style is a rhythmic dance, but it can also be danced to melody, as demonstrated in these two fragments.

Songs suitable for the milonguero style of dancing typically feature clear beats, accompanied by a sentimental melody. The beats are strong, steady, and easy to follow. But sometimes emotions take over and beats weaken or merge into the melody. In such cases, dancers must adapt to the shifting mood and transition to dancing melodically. When dancing to rhythm, movements are vertical, abrupt, short, and interrupted. In contrast, when dancing to melody, movements become horizontal, emotional, graceful, and continuous. Slow motion and pauses are often employed to linger on a note or wait for the next phrase to begin, creating moments of emotional expression and connection.

From my perspective, many women in this country struggle to follow melody effectively. When the beats fade and melody takes the lead, they often appear lost. There is a noticeable impatience and anxiety in their movements when the music asks them to slow down or pause, as they remain focused on catching the beat. This is understandable, considering most dancers are primarily taught to step on the beat without being trained to follow melody. Yet, dancing to melody is a crucial skill for tango dancers, particularly women, as melody embodies the emotion, fluidity, and beauty of the music, capturing the feminine essence of tango (see The Characteristics of Classic Tango).

In conclusion, the milonguero style is a rhythmic dance that appeals to the sensations of pulsating bodily motions. It is characterized by small, simple, rhythmic, compact, and synchronized steps. The dance reaches its full potential when partners surrender to each other, immerse themselves in the music and emotions, and move as one cohesive unit. It is best performed to music with a strong rhythmic foundation.

Despite its rhythmic nature, the milonguero style is also adept at expressing the emotions of melody. However, dancing to melody in this style differs from the Villa Urquiza style. The latter incorporates intricate figures, fancy steps, and stylish footwork, while the former emphasizes natural steps, pauses, and slow motion to preserve the dance's simplicity and soulfulness, avoiding unnecessary distractions. As the milonguero style continues to gain popularity, it is crucial to learn the correct way of dancing it to fully appreciate its magical allure (see Dancing to Melody - Poema).

The Gender Expression in Tango

Unlike in the US where gender expression is deemed politically incorrect, in Argentina it is a cultural emblem, which is evident in many aspects of their lives and particularly in their dance.*

In chacarera, for example, the man deliberately demonstrates his masculinity, as saying to the woman, "Look how strong and brave I am!" And the woman deliberately displays her femininity, as asking the man, "Don't you like my suppleness and beauty?"

Such unconcealed gender expression is evident in their tango also.

For Argentinians, male strength and female beauty are positive qualities that the opposite sexes use to allure each other. Masculinity and femininity are gender traits that have resulted from millions of years of evolution, enabling the human species to sustain and flourish. Opposite, different, mutually attractive, interdependent, and complementary, men and women are created for each other. From their union come children, family, society, and moral principles that hold the family and society together, such as love, teamwork, role-playing, cooperation, and agreement. The sustenance, stability, and harmony of society would be impossible if the two sexes did not attract and love each other. Therefore, gender expression is not a sign of gender inequality or a sexist display, as feminists claim. Rather, it is a binding force that unites the two sexes and strengthens society (see Tango and Interdepence between the Sexes).

Feminists only view men and women as independent individuals with conflicting self-interests, but fail to recognize them as a team in which the two sexes rely on, need, and complement each other. The feminist claim that "the history of mankind is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations on the part of man towards woman" is a rabid and inaccurate argument. Human history is not a tale of gender animosity. All men are sons of their mothers and brothers to their sisters, and all women are daughters of their fathers and sisters to their brothers—bound by a natural love for one another. In fact, human societies were matriarchal for much longer than recorded history, and love between the sexes is well-documented throughout history. While inequality is an undeniable reality, it is more a socioeconomic phenomenon than a gender issue (see Mammonism). The solution does not lie in repudiating gender differences, roles, or expressions, nor in fostering hatred and animosity, masculinizing women, imitating men, reversing roles, asserting women's independence, promoting women's emancipation from family, or encouraging women's self-reliance—even in their sex life—through the advocacy of lesbianism or same-sex marriage. The attempt to uproot and reconstruct the world according to radical ideas has never improved it, as evidenced by the disastrous consequences we face today. Such wishful thinking conflicts with human nature (see Tango and Gender Issues).

"If we want to achieve the perfect degree of human nature, or at least close to this level of perfection, then all rules and regulations of mankind should be adapted to human nature. Because experiences prove that we cannot use rules and regulations to bind human nature without destroying their happiness. The attempt to obey rules and regulations that contradict human nature is the main source of human suffering. Any attempt to promote human wellness will not have any result until there is no radical reform in this respect." - On Human Happiness by John Gray

The true solution to gender equality and harmony lies in embracing gender differences, roles, and expressions, as well as love and cooperation—nature's way of uniting the two sexes. This approach stands in contrast to the arbitrary culture of individualism, feminism, antagonism, hatred, and power politics. Thanks to tango, we have a living testament to how nature operates. "Tango is based on the idea that men and women are interdependent rather than independent, that masculinity and femininity complement each other rather than create inequality between the sexes, that being a masculine male and a feminine female is attractive, beneficial, and desirable, that the harmony of the two genders is achieved through mutual respect, submission, accommodation, and cooperation rather than antagonism, animosity, confrontation, and power struggle, and that love triumphs over hostility. While individualism and feminism focus on the individuality and independence of individuals or sexes, tango emphasizes the oneness and harmony of their union. It calls for friendliness, submission, humility, adaptability, cooperation, agreeableness, and yielding. Tango demonstrates that the two sexes can form a harmonious relationship by adhering to these values. Despite the challenges tango faces in the West, it continues to positively influence our lives. Unless we adopt these values, we cannot fully enjoy the dance or the relationship between the sexes (see Femininity and Feminism in Tango (II))."

Gender expression is crucial in tango also because tango is inherently a heterosexual rather than a homosexual dance, characterized by the integration and interaction of contrasting elements, with each gender brings a unique quality that complements the other. Tango music mirrors this duality, with a rhythm that is masculine—robust, steady, forceful, and predictable—and a melody that is feminine—soft, emotional, moody, and beautiful. These two contrasting moods interplay fluidly, reflecting the dynamics of the two sexes. In tango, the man and the woman are akin to different instruments, each producing a distinct sound and emotion. One is like the bandoneon, the other the violin; one is the passion of the drums, the other the beauty of the melody; one represents philosophy, the other poetry. Both are indispensable and irreplaceable, and they must complement and collaborate harmoniously to create a beautiful dance (see The Characteristics of Classic Tango). The attempt to make tango a homosexual or gender-neutral dance would only diminish its vitality. Without gender differences and gender expression, tango would lose its richness, beauty, and charm.

______________________________________

*I was dancing at Club Gricel when suddenly my partner let out a scream. She had been struck by someone. As I wondered how that could have happened, the man from the couple who had clashed with us said something reproachful to me, like a male goose protecting his female partner. Perhaps it was my fault, so I apologized. We moved on and forgot about the incident. On my way out of the venue, I was approached by that man, who apparently had been waiting for me. He shook my hand and said he wanted to apologize because it had been his fault. The man needed to appear virile in front of his woman, but privately he admitted his mistake. That was an Argentine man—not flawless, but good in nature. I had no problem forgiving him for being manly.

Revealing Her Beauty in Tango

The fact that more women dance tango than men may have something to do with their beauty. I don't think it’s a coincidence that many women who dance tango have elegant figures. Tango is well-known for its fitness benefits. It provides women an opportunity to display their beauty. Women's relying on their chest to receive the lead in tango encourages a tall and upright posture. Their highly developed sense of beauty undoubtedly contributes to the beauty of this dance.

Because in tango women dance around men, they need to rotate their hips to step to the man’s side while maintaining torso contact in the embrace. This results in a twisted body posture (TBP) that highlights the suppleness of their bodies. TBP is different from contra body movement (CBM) in that CBM is turning the right side of the body towards a left moving leg or turning the left side of the body towards a right moving leg, which are heavily involved in ballroom dancing. In tango, however, the woman must also dissociate her upper body from her lower body—turning her upper body without moving her lower body, or vice versa, or combine dissociation with CBM by turning her upper body in one direction while swiveling her lower body in the opposite direction to project even more the flexibility of her body.

TBP occurs in the following scenarios:

While keeping her torso parallel to his, she swivels her hips to the left and steps forward to his right side with her right leg.

While keeping her torso parallel to his, she swivels her hips to the right and steps forward to his left side with her left leg.

While keeping her torso parallel to his, she swivels her hips to the right and steps backward to his right side with her right leg.

While keeping her torso parallel to his, she swivels her hips to the left and steps backward to his left side with her left leg.

These scenarios occur in many tango movements, such as the front ocho, back ocho, ocho cortado, walking on the partner’s side, molinete, rock turn, zigzag, enrosque, planeo, boleo, gancho, back sacada, and more. TBP is a key reason why women’s feminine beauty is so prominently displayed in tango.

This offers a clue on how to make her look stunning on the dance floor. For instance, we can emphasize the suppleness, pliancy, and grace of her body by incorporating steps that involve TBP and hip rotation. These might include making her step to our right and left, frequenting direction changes, alternating front and back ochos, increasing turns, using zigzags to make her rotate her hips continuously, making her twist her body more in front and back ochos by stepping more to the side, have her move forward with the back ocho, or move backward with the front ocho, combine different steps to increase the variety of her pose, suspend her TBP with slow motion, or pause when she is in a twisted body position to highlight her curves, etc.

It’s important to remember that women’s bodies are much more flexible than ours and can achieve incredible movements if we know how to lead properly. However, it’s essential not to overdo it. Tenderness, comfort, and soulfulness are equally important for women. In fact, feminine beauty often shines more in small movements than in large ones. This is why in some cultures women are taught to walk in tiny steps. For example, in ancient China, women’s feet were wrapped from a young age to keep them small, causing them to walk in a delicate manner. Wearing high heels serves a similar purpose. In other words, we can reveal women’s beauty regardless of step size, as their femininity—and perhaps even more so in small movements—is the source of their charm. This is why milonga, danced in smaller steps than tango, excels at showcasing women’s feminine beauty.

Therefore, dancing tango isn’t about endlessly performing large ochos and turns, as is a common misconception in American tango. Instead, it’s about combining noticeable and subtle movements, big and small steps, fast and slow motions, fluidity and suspension, pauses and poses, and so on, to express the music and emotions. I believe the number one reason women love tango is their sentimental nature. Tango is a soulful dance, and women, being particularly emotional, are more attuned to subtle intimations and capable of expressing deep feelings. Tango allows women to release and express themselves. Feminine beauty, therefore, lies more in a woman’s psyche than in her appearance. Relaxing her, helping her resonate with the music, stirring her emotions, encouraging her to let go, and bringing out her inner beauty are the leader’s most challenging and rewarding tasks (see The Conceptional Beauty of Tango).

Dancing around the Man

Tango masters Alberto Pas and Valorie Hart discussed this important concept back in 1998: the man dances around the dance floor and the woman dances around the man. But many students today still don't know what that means. Simply put, it means that in his responsibility to follow traffic the man may need to step away from the woman, and it's the woman's job to stay close to him.

Many women think they dance close enough to the man but in fact they do not. Women who are shy about intimacy often use an open dance hold to replace the embrace, or lean back to distance themselves from their partner. Women influenced by feminism want to maintain their independence and refuse to surrender to men. Women who like to show off tend to dance with great strides, which take them away from their partner. Many have never learned to dance in close embrace and don't know how to move around the man in a compact way.

Tango is an intimate dance. To truly enjoy tango the woman needs to dance really close to the man. Close does not mean within an arm's length. It means integrating into his body and being one with him. The man who dances around the dance floor has to follow traffic, the woman who dances around the man must stay close to him and not separate from him.

To do that the woman needs to keep her torso connected to the man's torso and swivel her hips so that she can step on the side of the man or around him (see Dissociation and Gear Effect). A woman who cannot dissociate her lower body from her upper body tends to turn her whole body instead, causing the rupture of the embrace and the incoherence of the movements. That's why dancing with a novice woman often feels uncomfortable.

Here is a good example of how a woman should dance around the man.

Dancing around the man also involves molinete, a routine in which the woman revolves around the man who serves as the anchor for her rotation. Since their torsos are connected in the embrace, the woman has to swivel her hips side to side to make a forward step, a side step, a back step, and a side step, circling the man. Every tanguera knows this figure but executing it flawlessly so that it feels smooth, musical and comfortable is not easy. In fact most women can't do molinete well because of the lack of training in dissociation.

Where she places her foot is also crucial. A common problem is that she places her foot too far away from his foot to avoid touching his leg. In fact, touching is what she should do to make the movement compact. The woman must not be afraid of touching the man's leg when dancing around him. However, she needs to imagine a circle around his foothold with a radius of about half to one foot and always place her foot on that imaginary circle when she rovelves around him, because while stepping too far apart from his foot will take her away from him (see 6:20-8:00 in the following video), stepping too close to his foot will cause her to lose the leaning position when the turn is completed.

In short, four things are critically important regarding to dancing around the man. First, understanding that the woman's job is not to dance around the floor but to dance around the man. Second, maintaining a good embrace in a slightly leaning posture to secure the torso connection and mutual support while dancing. Third, spending a lot of time to practice dissociation in the molinete sequence until you are versed in swiveling your hips side to side in that leaning position. Finally, focusing on being one with the man rather than on your own performance, and being careful about how to keep the movement compact and where to place your foot so that the two of you may always remain a cohesive one in the dance. For a woman, learning tango is not primarily learning steps but learning to be one with the man. Tango is an intimate dance. How you dance it can make a big difference.

For Milongueras

To me milonguera is an honorary title for a tango woman, even though she is not a professional performer but just a social dancer. Dancing with a milonguera is a great pleasure because she knows how to dance for her partner. Her prowess enables her to focus on him rather than herself. Her well-trained body and extensive experience allow her to maintain cohesive and harmony with her man during even the most complex movements, and her refined musicality turns dancing with her into an indulgence.

A milonguera has transcended the narrowness of egocentric popular ideas like individualism and feminism. She understands that tango is teamwork, that the gratification of tango comes from cooperation and sharing, that her own enjoyment of the dance hinges on her partner, and that unless he is happy she cannot be so. Therefore, she gives her undivided attention to him, just as he does to her. Tango is an altruist dance, and a milonguera is an altruist.

A milonguera connects to her partner by leaning into him with a gentle yet firm pressure of her torso against his, tuning to the signals emitted from his chest. She elongates her body upwards until it feels like the taut string of a violin that can vibrate at his slightest touch. With her head nestled tenderly on his cheek, she remains weightless, entirely relaxed and pliable in his embrace. Her weight rests on the ball of her standing foot, maintaining stability with the entire foot including the heel in contact with the floor. Her right hand lies calmly in his left hand without weight, while her left arm hooks over his right shoulder to secure a solid connection. But she does not rely on him for balance, thus she feels very light (see Raul Cabral, Driving and Synchronization).

A milonguera dances beautifully, but for her tango is not a show but an expression of music and feelings. Steps are the means she uses to stay connected, express herself, interact with her partner, and bring contentment to him. They are a part of what makes tango an inward-facing, intimate, loving, soulful, and comforting dance.

Her body is so well-trained that she can dance freely without causing any incoherence or discomfort to him. She twists her body in his arms in such a seductive way that it pleases to the senses of his body. She can dissociate her upper body and lower body to such an extent that the two partners are always seamlessly connected in even the most challenging maneuvers. For her, to tango is to pamper the man in her arms, and she is equipped with an educated feminine body to do that.

She has danced tango for at least ten to fifteen years and has amassed extensive expertise and experience. Her mastery is such that she can dance intuitively, without the need for conscious consideration of the steps. This enables her to focus on her partner and ensure his enjoyment. She knows all the tricks to please him - caressing him with her body when she twists it in his arms, letting her chest trundle on his torso when swiveling her hips, massaging his chest with her breasts in ocho cortado, wrapping his body with her body in molinete, and entangles his leg with her leg in sacada... She is a master of the art of seduction.

A milonguera knows the music inside out. She knows the story of every tango song. She knows how to express the emotions of each song with her every move. She is moody when the music is moody, passionate when the music is passionate, sentimental when the music turns blue, and affectionate when the music becomes tender. She accelerates, slows down, softens, reinforces, syncopates and suspends as the music tells her. She can express the sentiment of the music so well that you feel like you are dancing with the music itself. Dancing with a milonguera is a pure enjoyment of music without slightest disharmony.

A milonguera is versed in the milonga world. She follows the protocols about personal hygiene, dressing, seating, mirada, cabeceo, navigation, and all the dos and don'ts of the milonga (see Milonga Codes). She is polite, easygoing and charming. She greets everyone, respects everyone, is friendly to everyone, and does not have an attitude that scares men away. She always lets men know her appreciation and love for them. Milonga codes have been a part of her life for so long that they become her second nature. She might have been an egocentric, individualistic, independent, arrogant, aggressive, and feminist ultraist. She might have possessed all the attitudes, habits and imperfections many did when they started tango. But tango has changed her and transformed her into a marvel - a milonguera treasured by all milongueros.

P.S.
I've just returned from Newport News Encuentro, one of the milonguero gatherings I have enjoyed. The women that I danced with in that event inspired me to write something about them. My special thanks to Liga Losseva, Sherry Chou, Olimpia Stein, Eva VonEsse, Flo Woodreuff, Yemiko Yagui, Marina Aleshker, Sandra Angel, Emily Mooney, Shirley Putnam, Gloria Swindoll, Pamela Ruth, and many others whose names I don't know or remember. Special thanks also to Andy Stein, the organizer of the event, and to Raul Cabral, whose writings are always an inspiration and whose appreciation for milonguera women I deeply share.

My Two Cents on Music Selection

Among the many factors that contribute to the success of a milonga, music ranks as one of the top three, alongside a friendly environment and a well-trained crowd. Great music deeply connects dancers, stirring emotions, synchronizing movement, and sparking creativity. Without quality music, dancers cannot fully enjoy the experience, no matter how favorable the other conditions may be.

Unfortunately, the music played at milongas is not always of the highest standard. Many DJs select songs that lack quality while leaving the best tracks untouched in their collections. I’ve heard arguments suggesting that dancers prefer new songs, that they dislike dancing to the same familiar pieces repeatedly, and that they would rather take risks than be bored. However, such reasoning fuels the tendency to prioritize novelty at the expense of musical quality.

While it’s true that new tracks can be adventurous to dance to, that’s not what tango dancers primarily seek. In fact, most dancers prefer well-known, danceable classics over unfamiliar tunes with erratic or unpredictable beats. Familiar and danceable songs heighten their desire to dance because, like singing or playing musical instruments, they can perform better with pieces they know well. DJs should resist the urge to prioritize uniqueness and novelty, instead adopting a balanced approach that caters to the majority of dancers.

All too often, DJs fall into the trap of their own preferences. Some lean too heavily on fast songs, others on slow. Some favor rhythmic tracks, while others lean toward lyrical ones. Some prefer vocals, while others play only instrumentals. Some stick to traditional pieces, while others focus on contemporary selections. I believe the majority of songs played at milongas should come from the Golden Age and should feature a mix of tempos, moods, flavors, orchestras, eras, and styles to prevent monotony. A balanced blend keeps dancers engaged and enthusiastic. Most tracks should have a comfortable walking pace, which is ideal for tango dancing.

When selecting music, danceability should be the top priority. DJs must recognize that not all tango music is suitable for dancing. During Argentina's history, between 1955 and 1983, tango as a social dance was discouraged by military regimes, leading to the creation of tango music intended primarily for listening rather than dancing. Such tracks often feature undanceable rhythms or jazz elements that are difficult to follow. These songs, no matter how novel or creative, should not be played at milongas (see Tango Music and Its Danceability).

The best tango songs are those that balance contrasting moods. Good tango music is heterosexual rather than homosexual in nature. Its rhythm is masculine—strong, steady, firm and forceful, and its melody is feminine—sweet, beautiful, sentimental and evocative. This duality mirrors the dynamic of the two sexes in the dance who in essence are playing music with their bodies. Men and women are different instruments, each with a distinct sound, expressing a different mood. Both are indispensable and irreplaceable and they must complement each other and collaborate harmoniously to create a beautiful dance. The absence of either mood makes the music less symphonic, gender expressive and satisfying (see The Characteristics of Classic Tango).

As an intimate dance, tango thrives on music that is moving and inspiring. DJs should select songs that are beautiful, soulful, sentimental, and rich in syncopation, avoiding tracks that are emotionally flat, melodically plain, or rhythmically monotonous. In reality, the number of high-quality, danceable tracks is significantly smaller than the number of mediocre or undanceable ones. A DJ must be able to distinguish these and ensure only the most beautiful, soulful, and danceable tracks are played at milongas.

I am a firm believer that only the best songs should be played at milongas, so fervent that I delete all unsuitable tracks from my personal collection, keeping only top-tier, danceable pieces. The truth is, you don’t need thousands of songs to curate a successful milonga. For a three-hour event, you need just 15 tandas—or 60 songs. By carefully selecting 600 exceptional tracks, a DJ can play for ten milongas without repeating a single song. Quality, not quantity, is what truly matters.

I feel profoundly grateful to talented DJs like Tine Herrman, Paul Akmajian, Burak Ozkosem, and Julia Ingram, to name a few. Every time I hear their music, I feel the journey, even across a thousand miles, is worth the effort. Unfortunately, such experiences remain rare. I believe event organizers should establish clearer expectations with DJs about music quality. I also believe DJs should make their playlists publicly available, allowing dancers to make informed choices. I hope that as tango continues to grow, the music played at milongas will improve as well, ensuring that wherever we go, we can always enjoy the very best dance experience.

Tango and Equality

Tango was created by people living at the bottom of society, and their imprints still remain in the dance. The original tango is a lowbrow dance—raw, simple, sensual, soul-searching, and comforting—touching the heart of one's humanity. Dancing that tango reminds Beatriz Dujovne of a birthing mother's ecstasy, struggle, agony, sweat, pain, and joy. Whether a maid or a queen, she wrote, the birthing experiences of all women are identical, just like those in tango. "Tango is all of us in life's common places. It is who we are at the core, behind our social masks (see The Tango in All of Us)."

That shared humanness is a profound source of sublimation for people struggling at the bottom. Tango liberates them because, in tango, they regain the dignity of being on the same footing as others. All tango dancers are created equal, whether they are taxi drivers or company executives, servant girls or first daughters. You enjoy the person dancing with you for who they are as a fellow human being, regardless of their social status. Tango is where Cinderella and Prince Charming fall in love. "It melts down differences by zeroing in on our commonality," Dujovne wrote. "It feeds our hunger for being on a level with others."

Equality has been a dream of the American people since the creation of this nation. When early immigrants to America were unfairly treated by the English King, they argued for equality. Thomas Jefferson wrote in 1776: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." This document, The Declaration of Independence, laid the constitutional foundation for this nation.

After 240 years, however, the gap between rich and poor has not narrowed in America. In fact, it has widened in our times. Power corrupts. When we were under the oppression of a despot, we called for equality. When we gained control of our own destiny, we began to do the same thing to others. Self-interest and compassion are juxtaposed in human nature. When we keep a balance between the two, we thrive. But when we lose that balance—when we only think about ourselves and disregard others, when we formulate theories like individualism, personal freedom, and individual rights to legitimize selfish behaviors (see Tango and Individualism), when we misinterpret the founding documents from a narrow, individualistic perspective in favor of the self rather than society, the rich rather than the poor, and the villains rather than the victims, when we allow ourselves to pursue self-interest at the expense of others, when we permit tycoons to use unfair competition to establish monopolies, when the rich are given the privilege of using their money to influence legislation and policy-making, when the law becomes the means to advance the interests of the privileged class, when freedom is used to promote arms sales, violence, doping, obscenity, homosexuality and alternative life styles (see Tango and Gender Issues), when personal liberty is used to undermine traditional family and family-based values—the very foundation of society (see Tango and Family Values), when divorce, irresponsible sex, single parent family and same sex marriage become the accepted norms and are sponsored by the state, etc., we get ourselves further and further into the mess we are in now.

Ours is the lesson of freedom lost for the vast majority of people when we only seek personal freedom (see The Freedom in Tango). Only a few can win in the competition if equality and justice are not prerequisites for all other human rights. True freedom is freedom from being violated by others, not freedom to violate others. It is the right to act within the limits of laws necessary for the public good, not the right to harm society. It is a self-restrained human right under the principle that all men are created equal, not the right to do whatever one pleases at the cost of others. It is freedom from poverty and fear, not freedom to prey and shoot. In other words, a free society is an equal society based on compassion and cooperation, not on self-interest and competition. It is where individual rights are subordinate to the collective rights of humanity as a whole, where no one's freedom is deprived by another's freedom, and where brotherly love, coexistence, compassion, and sharing are common values of all people. It is a society consistent with the spirit of tango.

The following video is relevant to this subject. It is well-directed, thought-provoking, and filled with humorous details, such as the responses of the crowd, the looks in the girls' eyes, and the old lady being carried away. The dance is of the highest quality, with excellent musicality and choreography. I especially appreciate the ending, where the elegant dignity of the heroic nonentity triumphs over the arrogance of the social elites. Watch it in fullscreen.