Balancing Reliance and Lightness in Tango

The bond and interplay between the sexes in tango beautifully reflect their complementary qualities. Men embody strength, while women express fragility. These differences create distinct psychological needs: a man’s vigor offers a woman a sense of security, allowing her to relax and feel safe in his companionship. In turn, a woman's reliance fulfills a man’s innate desire to protect. This profoundly human interaction is what makes tango so captivating—it weaves together the delicacy and dependence of women with the strength and responsibility of men, creating a harmonious complement that satisfies both.

Women are drawn to tango because it allows them to feel connected, supported, and cherished, fulfilling their vulnerability in a secure way. Meanwhile, men are attracted to tango because it invites them into a role of strength and leadership, offering the satisfaction of guiding, protecting, and responding to a woman’s needs while being rewarded by her femininity.

However, this delicate balance can only be achieved when both partners understand their roles and work together (see The Gender Roles in Tango). Here lies the challenge: men enjoy a woman's attachment and dependence, but if she leans too heavily on them, they may experience her as "heavy." Conversely, if a woman is too independent, the connection and intimacy begin to fray. Thus, finding the right balance is crucial.

1. Trust Fully, but Stay Engaged
To satisfy a man’s desire to protect, a woman must entrust herself to him. This means letting go of control, resisting the urge to act independently, and surrendering to his lead. Such trust allows the dance to flow effortlessly. However, surrendering doesn’t mean becoming passive—a woman must remain engaged and responsive, meeting his strength with her own active energy.

2. The 30/70 Rule: Dependence and Independence
A good guideline for women in tango is to maintain approximately 30% dependence and 70% independence. This balance lets your partner feel your trust without feeling overburdened. Occasionally, you can lean more heavily on him, but always return to this foundational proportion. If you are too dependent, he may feel as though he is carrying you; if you are too independent, he may feel untrusted (see Tango and Trust).

3. Interweave Dependence and Independence
Rather than committing to a single mode throughout the dance, alternate between dependence and independence. Lean into him most of the time, but occasionally reveal a flash of your own initiative. This dynamic interplay—connection punctuated by moments of separation—keeps the dance engaging, alive, and emotionally rich.

4. Be Self-Driven, but Subtle
A key skill in tango is learning how to power your own movements while still following his lead. Stay light on your feet, maintain your own balance, and use the strength of your standing leg to drive your movements. However, be subtle—your partner should not feel as though you are leading yourself. Men delight in feeling in charge; if they sense you are dancing independently, they may feel unneeded. The art lies in discreetly supporting the movement without making it obvious, adding your own energy to his lead without overshadowing it.

5. Make Him Feel Needed and Empowered
Ultimately, the goal is to make your partner feel strong, capable, and in control—without overwhelming him. Show him that you trust and depend on him, while also demonstrating your own lightness and self-sufficiency. When you strike this balance, the dance becomes a true partnership, with both partners contributing to its magic.

Balancing reliance and lightness is no easy feat. It demands emotional intelligence, awareness, sensitivity, refinement, and sophistication. But once you master this art, your tango will transform. You will experience a deeply connected, intimate, and satisfying dance. When you find the perfect equilibrium between strength and vulnerability, dependence and independence, tango becomes one of the most profoundly fulfilling experiences (see Tango and Gender Interdependence).

Achieving Comfortable Arm and Hand Position in Close Embrace

In close embrace, the man’s left elbow and the woman’s right elbow should be bent at approximately 75 degrees, allowing their hands to meet at shoulder height. Naturally, their palms face their own body centers, with the thumbs on top and the little fingers underneath. However, this orientation prevents the hands from clasping properly—they need to face each other to interlock. Initially, both partners may adjust their hand positions to accommodate one another, but men often unconsciously revert to turning their palms inward during the dance, causing the woman’s hand to twist uncomfortably outward.

To prevent this, the man must consciously keep his palm facing the woman rather than his own center. He can also extend his left arm outward rather than keeping it raised in front of his shoulder—this naturally orients his palm toward the woman. Alternatively, the partners may avoid clasping hands altogether. The woman can instead place the lower part of her palm on his upturned palm or let him hold the back of her hand. This eliminates any twisting or discomfort in her right hand.

The man should lead with his torso, keeping his arms and hands completely relaxed to avoid unconsciously using them to direct movements. If the woman feels that her hand is being held too tightly, she should signal the man to adjust his grip rather than waiting until the dance is over to mention it. Since we all have habits that may be uncomfortable for others, communication is essential. Both partners must work together to adapt and accommodate each other throughout the dance.

Some women wrap their left arm around the man's right arm, unaware that this places their weight on his arm and restricts its movement. They often do not realize that men must constantly adjust their arms to allow the woman to move freely within the embrace. This positioning also shifts the woman's body to the right side of the man, reducing her sensitivity to subtle changes in his body position, which is one of the reasons women often fail to execute the cruzada (see Why Women Fail to Do Cruzada).

The correct embrace is symmetrical, with partners facing each other chest-to-chest. His left hand and her right hand meet at shoulder height, his right arm wraps around her torso, and her left arm hooks over his right shoulder, keeping their bodies perfectly aligned. This embrace not only fosters greater intimacy and comfort but also enhances the woman’s ability to perceive subtle shifts in the man’s body, so when he walks on her right, she will naturally reposition her body with the cruzada to stay aligned with him.

Tango is a feeling-oriented dance and must be danced in the most comfortable and communicative embrace possible. Dancers should not cling to social conventions or personal habits at the expense of their partner’s comfort. The embrace described here best expresses the intimacy and inward focus that tango demands. It may not match everyone’s personal preference. But true tango asks for a willingness to place the partnership above the self. For many beginners, learning this is the first significant hurdle they must overcome.

Reflections on My New Tango Home

Since moving to this city, I’ve been dancing at this particular milonga for about two years. The dance floor is a rectangular space, approximately 45 feet long and 30 feet wide. Typically, around 40 to 50 people gather here—mostly seasoned tango dancers in their 50s, 60s, and 70s, with a few younger or less experienced participants. The gender ratio hovers around 27 men to 23 women, which puts men at a slight disadvantage. Interestingly, a couple of women prefer to lead, and most men avoid dancing with these female leaders, further exacerbating the shortage of followers.

Most of the women are familiar with the cabeceo, although a few are not—and these ladies tend to receive fewer invitations (see Women’s Role in Cabeceo). Apart from a handful, most people dance in a traditional close embrace, and dancers with different styles rarely partner up. Overall, this milonga has an above-average dance level, which I really appreciate. However, the sense of community could be warmer. In America, this isn’t unusual—people come here to dance, not necessarily to form deep connections. By contrast, in Buenos Aires, a group of people who dance together regularly will quickly develop close bonds.

I dance regularly with most of the women here, though there are a few I haven’t danced with—not because I don’t want to, but because they haven’t shown any interest. My rule is simple: I only dance with women who are friendly and open to dancing with me. If someone acts dismissive, I don’t ask them to dance. I’m not entirely sure why some women seem aloof. Do they have particularly high standards? Do they only dance with fixed partners? Do they think that invitations are only a man’s job? I try not to assume the worst because I believe most people are kind at heart. One possible explanation is that they are socially inexperienced or lack cabeceo skills. Regardless, I have my principles, and since I’m not short on partners, I haven’t danced with them yet (see Tango Etiquette: Eye Contact, Talking, Clique and Hierarchy).

The tango community in this city is sizable, and this milonga—with its experienced dancers—frequently attracts visitors. However, these visitors rarely return, perhaps due to the lack of a warm and welcoming atmosphere I mentioned earlier. I’ve visited a few other local milongas as well, but the pattern is similar—dancers tend to avoid engaging with newcomers, so I didn’t stay either. It’s a common issue, and I believe there is room for improvement. Some possible solutions might include encouraging people to greet each other before the dance begins, providing cabeceo education, prompting everyone to dance at least once with someone new, or requiring dancers to rotate partners during the first tanda after the break. These small changes could help break the ice and foster a more inviting environment (see Tango Is a Fellowship).

To me, a great milonga rests on three essentials: a friendly atmosphere, skilled dancers, and good music. There are several DJs play here, most of them stick to classic tango hits from the Golden Age. While a few have unique tastes that don’t always align with mine, most DJs strike a good balance in their selections. Overall, I’m satisfied with the music here, though I think the selection quality could still improve to make this milonga even better. It’s not about novelty—it’s about choosing tracks that are great for dancing. The more classic and familiar the music, the better—this is akin to playing musical instruments, where well-loved pieces often resonate best with both players and listeners. I don’t understand why Pugliese is rarely played here. Given the experience level of the dancers here, including more Pugliese could be a thoughtful—and welcome—touch (see My Two Cents on Music Selection).

Tango and Trust

Trust is the foundation of human social life—the invisible thread that holds relationships and societies together. It arises from our inherent vulnerabilities, personal limitations, and deep interdependence. As social beings, we seek trust-based connections to foster cooperation, teamwork, and emotional and physical support. Trust meets both practical needs, such as collaboration for survival and success, and emotional needs, such as overcoming loneliness and feeling safe. It is the mechanism through which we navigate vulnerability, form bonds, offer mutual support, and maintain social harmony. Without trust, we are left to struggle alone, disconnected and unable to meet life’s challenges.

Tango, in particular, satisfies this essential human need, which is one reason for its enduring popularity. As a dance of love, connection, and surrender, tango is far more than an aesthetic or recreational experience—it provides a sanctuary from loneliness, a safe space to express vulnerability, and an opportunity to find solace in another’s embrace. In tango, we fulfill our longing for intimacy and touch, to lean on someone else, to unburden ourselves, and to quench our thirst for connection and love. Fully engaging and immersing ourselves in this experience demands complete trust. Tango offers healing by giving us permission to reveal our vulnerability and our inner selves—a process that can only happen when we trust each other. Without this trust, we cannot give ourselves completely, nor can we receive the emotional and psychological gifts the dance has to offer.

On a practical level, trust is equally vital. Tango relies on close physical contact, non-verbal cues, and mutual reinforcement. Dancers must be physically and mentally attuned to one another, trusting that their partner is always there for support. This trust sets us free. When it is lacking, dancers can become self-conscious and tense, holding back emotionally and hesitating to let go. Unfortunately, the absence of trust is a common challenge in our tango.

This difficulty reflects a broader cultural issue. In American society, trust has become increasingly fragile, eroded by a host of systemic and social forces: rampant individualism, institutional corruption, economic instability, rising inequality, fraud, cybercrime, political polarization, and media-driven misinformation. These pressures create an atmosphere of suspicion and cynicism. In a culture that prizes self-reliance and personal achievement, people often prioritize their own needs over moral values and collective well-being. As a result, tension, competition, and mistrust have become commonplace. When faced with economic hardship, political division, and widespread deceit, individuals grow guarded, wary of manipulation and betrayal. This climate of distrust seeps into our personal lives, making it difficult to embrace the vulnerability that tango demands. When we do not trust, we disengage, choosing alienation and control over connection and cooperation.

Tango offers a profound lesson in the value of trust. In a world where trust is increasingly elusive, this intimate dance reminds us that human connection is only possible when we are willing to trust one another. By embracing trust on the dance floor, we rehearse the possibility to restore it in the wider world. Confucius named trust as one of the essential human virtues, alongside benevolence, justice, propriety, and wisdom. Tango, grounded in trust, serves as a powerful reminder of these qualities and a means to rebuild faith in our shared humanity. Through this dance of vulnerability and connection, we can relearn how to rely on one another. Tango teaches the joy that comes from surrendering control in the right context. It reminds us that not every moment requires us to be in charge. Often, our deepest fulfillment lies in letting go, trusting one another, and moving together in harmony.

The Impact of Chinese Characters

Chinese characters are among the most ingenious inventions of the Chinese people. China is a vast country, comparable in size to Europe, with two-thirds of its terrain being mountainous. In ancient times, underdeveloped transportation infrastructure led to relative isolation between regions, resulting in the emergence of numerous local dialects. People from different areas often found it difficult to understand one another. (See Tango Is a Language (II).)

To bridge this communication gap, the resourceful Chinese developed a system of ideograms—Chinese characters. Unlike phonetic writing systems, each Chinese character represents a meaning rather than a sound. This allowed people from different regions to communicate through writing, despite huge differences in pronunciation.

One major drawback of Chinese characters, however, is their complexity. To be considered literate, one must learn over three thousand characters. The intricate structure and sheer number of them present a significant barrier to literacy, requiring a great deal of time and effort to master.

Yet the advantages are just as significant. Chinese characters have provided a unifying medium of communication across diverse dialects, helping to maintain China’s political and cultural cohesion. Unlike Europe, where phonetic languages caused its fragmentation into multiple nation-states, China remained largely unified—a feat made possible in part by its shared written language. In many ways, Chinese characters are the bedrock and vessel of Chinese civilization, through which its enduring culture is recorded and passed down, fostering a shared national identity and national cohesion. Throughout history, China has faced numerous invasions by northern nomadic tribes. To govern effectively, these conquerors had to adopt the Chinese writing system, and in doing so, they absorbed Chinese culture and eventually became part of it.

The common written language has also played a central role in effective governance, trade, and cultural exchange. It has enabled centralized administration across a vast and diverse land. Moreover, Chinese characters have been essential in preserving cultural integrity. Phonetic languages in the West are more susceptible to external influences. For example, English incorporates between 1,000 and 4,000 new words annually, contributing to linguistic volatility and, arguably, cultural instability. In contrast, Chinese—built on a finite set of characters—is much more stable and resistant to external linguistic influences. Once learners grasp the core set of characters, they can easily understand or create new words, making Chinese both adaptive and enduring. This linguistic structure offers tremendous advantages in the era of artificial intelligence. Processing a dataset of a few thousand unique Chinese characters is far more efficient than managing over a million unique English words, significantly reducing computing demands.

As ideograms, Chinese characters embody values—such as benevolence (仁), propriety (禮), and filial piety (孝). China, with its rich history, has a wealth of classical literature. A large number of Chinese words, idioms, and expressions still used by modern Chinese can find their origins in these classics. Understanding them requires some background knowledge. For example, the character 信 consists of two parts: 人 (man) and 言 (word). 信 means “a man keeps his words,” or trust, as Confucius said, “One cannot succeed without good faith (人無信不立).” Chinese children learn their language by studying these characters and texts, which encapsulate the wisdom of countless generations, embedding moral values and social insights within the very fabric of the language. Learning Chinese instills in students an appreciation of their cultural heritage and traditional values. This deep connection between language, history, culture and values gives educated Chinese a distinct character. I often feel that Chinese people are fortunate because their language makes them a wise, cohesive, collectivist, cooperative, moderate, and moral people.

Beyond functionality, Chinese characters are deeply aesthetic. Chinese calligraphy, as an art form, has profoundly shaped the visual and cultural sensibilities of the Chinese people.

In summary, the influence of Chinese characters on Chinese society is profound and far-reaching. More than a tool for communication, they have served as the glue of national unity and the conduit of cultural heritage. The shared written language reinforces a collective identity and strengthens social cohesion. Embedded within Chinese characters and classical texts are timeless values that continue to shape social behavior and interactions today. The enduring legacy of Chinese characters stands as a testament to the ingenuity of the Chinese people and their ability to adapt while remaining rooted in their traditions. (See Understanding China: Geography, Confucianism, and Chinese-Style Modernization.)

The Advantages of Simplicity over Flashy Movements

The most evocative tangos—the ones that truly capture the soul of the music and the depth of the dancers' emotions—are often danced with simple steps. At its heart, tango is a dialogue between two souls, not a showcase of intricate choreography. Simplicity allows dancers to fully immerse themselves in the music’s subtle nuances and the rich emotion it evokes, fostering a deeper connection and an inward focus that enable more meaningful communication between partners. True beauty emanates from within, thriving in the connection, intimacy, agreement, and harmony shared by the dancers. These qualities are best expressed through Zen-like simplicity rather than flamboyant, showy movements. Indeed, simple elegance resonates far more deeply than complexity ever could.

Beauty often finds its greatest power in simplicity and restraint. Complex Chinese characters are streamlined in daily use. A modestly decorated home feels more inviting than one cluttered with excess. Light makeup looks more natural than heavy makeup. Concise writing is superior to repetitious expression. The same holds true in dance: clean, graceful movement carries a quiet elegance that elaborate figures often lack. Artistic simplicity—a principle central to aesthetics—frequently yields unexpected results (see Simple Is Beautiful).

In contrast, performances driven by flashy movements can feel artificial and hollow. Intricate footwork and overworked choreography obscure tango's essence, distracting dancers from fully engaging with the music, their emotions, and their partner. The pursuit of spectacle over substance often impairs the dancer’s ability to respond intuitively to musical shifts and partner cues. The result is a performance that feels disjointed, cluttered, and contrived—lacking the spontaneous, vibrant spirit of authentic tango.

Though this may represent an extreme example, the tendency toward ostentation is not uncommon in tango. In a culture often enamored with glitz and pretense, it’s crucial for tango dancers to resist the urge to show off and instead return to what truly matters: the music, the emotion, and the connection. By keeping things simple, minimizing the frills and embracing simple, heartfelt steps—dancers can create a tango experience that is far more intimate, soulful, and satisfying. After all, it's not about putting on a show—it's about sharing a moment, heart to heart (see Embracing Elegance).

Embracing Elegance

Tango can be danced in two main styles: elegant or fancy. Elegance is simple, natural, refined, and sedate. It gives the dance a sense of calm, grace, and harmony. Fanciness, by contrast, uses complex steps, showy figures, and flashy decorations to create a lively and creative feel. Both styles contribute to the richness and depth of tango, each offering its own unique appeal. The examples below illustrate both approaches.

In today’s culture, though, where flashiness often gets the spotlight, fanciness can be overdone. Imitators sometimes turn it into something shallow—more about looking than feeling. In this context, embracing elegance becomes more essential, especially in social tango.

At its heart, social tango is a conversation between two souls, guided by internal experiences rather than outward display. This inner focus naturally brings out elegance. Its simplicity helps dancers move in sync and feel more connected. That’s why tango milonguero, the most popular style of social tango, prioritizes elegance over showiness. While the temptation to dazzle with flashy moves and intricate footwork is understandable, true mastery of tango lies in capturing its essence. (See The Advantages of Simplicity over Flashy Movements.)

Even in fancier styles, elegance can still come through—if it’s done with good taste. Great dancers know that balancing grace and splendidness enhances the artistry of dance. In this balance, elegance plays a stabilizing role. For those seeking to go beyond mere performance, elegance offers a path to deeper expression and timeless beauty. A truly elegant tango captivates not through the complexity of steps, but through the grace and depth that radiates from the dancer’s genuine inner self. Fancy moves should only serve as embellishments, not dominate the show.

But perhaps the best reason to embrace elegance lies in its transformative power. Developing an elegant style isn’t just about looking better—it’s a personal journey. It helps us let go of the need to impress and focus instead on real connection—with our partner, the music, and ourselves. Elegance teaches the art of restraint: achieving more with less. By stripping away excessive embellishments and moving simply and naturally, we uncover authenticity and depth. We realize that true beauty is not in the spectacle but in the inward journey of music, connection, and soulful interaction. (See True Beauty Comes from Within).

For any dancer wanting to go beyond the surface, consider Audrey Hepburn’s words: “Elegance is the only beauty that never fades.” Embrace it, embody it, and let it guide your journey toward mastering the dance. (See The Elegance of the Milonguero Style.)

Ismael Choreography

Ismael Heljalil (1929-2018) was a revered figure within the milonguero community, known for his kind nature and gentle demeanor. Though details about his life remain scarce, his legacy endures through the dance videos he left behind, offering glimpses into his gentle character and profound love for tango.

What distinguishes Ismael Heljalil from his peers is his distinctive choreography, characterized by a seamless fusion of rock, retreats and rotations. A hallmark of his style is the rock steps with the left leg as the fulcrum to place his right leg behind, culminating in a graceful pivoting to the right. (Please click the links to watch on YouTube.)

This movement can be mirrored with the left leg by stepping back with his left leg and pivoting to the left. Ismael often combines walking forward in a circle and walking backward in a circle, either to the right or to the left. No one can alternate these circular movements with forward and backward steps as seamlessly as Ismael does. This remarkable ability hinges on his unparalleled musicality.

In essence, Ismael's dance style is characterized by a continuous rotation anchored in backward motion, skillfully blending elements of rock, back steps, and turns. This unique approach sets him apart, inspiring many to emulate his technique, yet few can truly replicate his finesse. What is difficult to copy is not his footwork, of course, but his comprehension of music, underscoring the depth of skill possessed by the master himself.

"If God could dance, he would dance like Ismael. He masterfully improvises what he feels in the moment. He walks, and oh…how he walks with intimate knowledge of every phrase and nuance of the music from his soul." - Jantango

Making Your Leading Stand Out

When leading tango, it is important to avoid cookie-cutter routines. Here are some tips to help you be a distinctive leader:

1. Embrace variety in your dance route: Instead of moving straight forward along the line of dance, dare to explore different directions and patterns, break away from monotony, frequent the change of direction, interweave different steps, and lead your partner in unexpected move patterns.

2. Incorporate backward steps: In tango, men mostly move forward and women move backward. If men could break the pattern and dance backwards, it would be a change for both parties and make the dance stand out.

3. Simplify your movements: In a world where complexity often reigns supreme, dare to stand out by embracing simplicity. Remember, less is often more when it comes to making a lasting impression.

4. Master the art of pivoting: In tango, it's customary for men to navigate the dance floor while women dance around men, often resulting in men relying on static steps. However, by integrating pivots into your movements to enable agile and fluid turns around the woman, your lead will truly shine.

5. Engage your torso and hips: Most men don't rotate their torso and hips very much when dancing. If you can engage your torso and hips more, your leading will reach a higher level. The rule of tango is that your torso must always face your partner, no matter which side of you she is on or moving to. The competence to swivel the torso and hips helps the man to maintain good connection and enhances his ability to use his torso to lead the woman.

6. Use a variety of rhythms：Most men dance too fast and in a monotonous speed. If you slow down the pace and use a variety of rhythms, your dance will stand out. Pause and slow motion are to dance what punctuation is to writing. They make the dance more expressive and interesting.

7. Lead her to turn in slow motion：Most women turn too hastily, either forced by men or due to their own habit of chasing the beat. But feminine beauty is, in fact, better revealed in slow motion. When leading steps that involve turns, such as molinete, ocho and planeo, if you can slow down her pace, that will make her movements look more appealing.

8. Dance to express, not to impress: Above all, remember that tango is a dance of connection and feelings. Instead of focusing on showcasing your technical prowess, dance with genuine emotion and feeling. Let the music guide you and inspire your movements. By dancing to express the music and feelings, you'll create a profound and unforgettable experience for both you and your partner.

Philosophies that Separate Two Worlds

Chinese philosophy is rooted in a holistic worldview, perceiving the universe as an interconnected whole rather than a collection of isolated parts. It embraces contradiction, not as conflict, but as a natural expression of harmony—seeing opposing forces as interdependent and complementary. Within this framework, humanity transcends individualism in favor of collective well-being, emphasizing cooperation and communal success. At its heart, Chinese thought values unity, balance, and peaceful coexistence—prioritizing collaboration over conflict and mutual benefit over the elimination of adversaries (see Understanding China: Yellow River and the Character of the Chinese Nation).

Grounded in collectivism, Chinese philosophy places the well-being of society above individual gain, advocating for social harmony through public morality. Human rights are understood not merely as personal entitlements but as responsibilities toward the collective good, aiming to ensure safe, equitable, and harmonious living conditions for all. While Chinese law protects individual freedoms, including the right to pursue wealth within legal bounds, it also curtails the unchecked influence of special interests to safeguard the broader interests of the people and society as a whole (see Understanding China: Geography, Confucianism, and Chinese-Style Modernization).

Economically, China promotes the vision of “common prosperity” through a hybrid model that integrates state-owned enterprises, private ventures, and market mechanisms. This system encourages individual initiative while ensuring that personal success aligns with public welfare. The state plays a crucial role in regulating capital to prevent it from undermining social equity and long-term stability.

Politically, China stresses the central role of the state in uniting the nation, managing diversity, protecting vulnerable groups, and investing in infrastructure and the common good. It adheres to the principles of democratic centralism and national cohesion, rejecting excessive partisanship and decentralization. Chinese democracy—often described as “people’s democracy”—is consultative and consensus-driven, contrasting sharply with the adversarial nature of many Western electoral systems. As a “whole-process democracy,” it involves citizens in policymaking, implementation, and oversight, ensuring that public decisions reflect broad consultation and careful deliberation. By minimizing partisan strife, Chinese governance aims to foster shared prosperity, social harmony, and egalitarian development.

On the global stage, China upholds five guiding principles: mutual respect for sovereignty, non-aggression, non-interference, equality and mutual benefit, and peaceful coexistence. It advocates for international cooperation, peaceful development, and a shared future for humanity marked by global prosperity and mutual respect.

In contrast, Western philosophy tends to embrace an atomistic worldview, interpreting the world as composed of independent and self-serving entities. Western individualism views people as autonomous actors with conflicting interests, heavily shaped by Darwinian notions such as “the struggle for existence” and “survival of the fittest.” This perspective fosters a “law of the jungle” mentality, where defeating or overpowering others is seen as a necessity for survival (see Darwinism and Confucianism). Western culture emphasizes self-interest, personal achievement, and strategic advantage, often at the expense of collective well-being and moral responsibility. Its rhetoric on human rights is highly deceptive. While professing to promote universal freedom, it in fact only serves the interests of a privileged minority, enabling them to dominate legislation, the economy, media, military, and foreign policy to their own benefit.

Economically, Western nations champion unrestrained capitalism, driven by competition and self-interest. While this approach may spur short-term growth, it often results in rampant inequality, unchecked greed, and systemic injustice. Capital gains precedence over national welfare, benefitting only a small elite at the expense of broader society. The result is that the rich get richer, the poor get poorer, and for most people, "the pursuit of happiness" has become an illusion. The prioritization of profit over production inevitably leads to the hollowing out of the economy, eventually triggering systemic crises (see America Is in Big Trouble).

Politically, Western democracies often beset by partisanship, polarization, and social fragmentation. Despite formal democratic structures, these systems can devolve into political theater, rife with empty promises, ideological extremes, and sensationalism. Politicians, frequently funded by special interests, tend to serve their donors more than the public, reducing the role of voters to a periodic ballot with little real influence (see Democracy vs. Plutocracy).

In international affairs, Western powers often adopt a hegemonic posture, relying on tactics such as divide-and-conquer, sanctions, military interventions, and regime change. These actions have destabilized regions, perpetuated global conflict, and undermined prospects for lasting peace. The success of the West historically hinges on the conquest, colonization, genocide, exploitation, and plunder of weaker nations.

For a long time, the Chinese struggled to comprehend Western behaviors, yet they have now come to understand its underlying logic. Unless Western plutocrats alter their philosophical outlook, global peace remains elusive. This sentiment was succinctly expressed by the Chinese delegation during the Sino-US talks in Alaska: "We overestimated you and assumed you would adhere to basic diplomatic norms. We must clarify our stance: You lack the authority to assert dominance over China." Despite the potential dangers inherent in this worldview, Western plutocrats are unlikely to relinquish it. It may require the collapse of the existing paradigm before humanity can aspire to construct a new world.

Thankfully, it’s becoming increasingly clear which philosophy holds more promise for humanity. As the world undergoes profound transformation, a new possibility is beginning to emerge. The rise of China and the relative decline of the West have given the Global South renewed hope. Many now glimpse the possibility of a new world order—one grounded in civilized values, peaceful coexistence, mutual respect, equality, fairness, justice, and win-win cooperation. This stands in stark contrast to the existing system, dominated by self-interest, inequality, exploitation, and aggression (see Pluralism vs. Monism).

Understanding China: Yellow River and the Character of the Chinese Nation

China is a vast country, comparable in size to Europe. Roughly two-thirds of its landmass is mountainous, with terrain that rises in the west and gradually descends toward the east. The western region is dominated by towering mountain ranges, many exceeding 5,000 meters in elevation. Chief among them are the Himalayas, whose highest peak soars to 8,848 meters above sea level. In contrast, the eastern region transitions into a broad plain, dipping to below 50 meters above sea level.

The Yellow River, China’s second longest, originates in the Bayan Har Mountains of Qinghai Province at an altitude of 5,369 meters. It flows from west to east, traversing the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau, the Loess Plateau, the Inner Mongolia Plateau, and the North China Plain, before emptying into the Bohai Sea. Its basin covers approximately 795,000 square kilometers and spans nine provinces: Qinghai, Sichuan, Gansu, Ningxia, Inner Mongolia, Shaanxi, Shanxi, Henan, and Shandong.

Millions of years ago, the area east of the Taihang Mountains in central North China (indicated on the map below) was part of the ocean. The North China Plain—occupying the upper two-thirds of the green area on the map—was formed through the accumulation of sediment from the Yellow River over millions of years. Flowing through the Loess Plateau, the river collects an immense amount of silt. It transports 1.6 billion tons of sediment downstream every year, about a quarter of which settles along the river’s course, and the rest washes into the Bohai Sea. The buildup of silt in the river’s lower reaches gradually raises the riverbed. Every once in a while, the Yellow River changes its course due to the blockage of large amounts of sediment. Wherever the terrain is lower, that's where the diverted river flows, carrying sediment with it and filling in depressions. For millions of years, sediment from the Yellow River has filled the low areas back and forth, created the vast North China Plain, which is larger than Britain. Today, the Yellow River is still reclaiming land from the sea and steadily pushing the coastline eastward. Scientists estimated that the Bohai Sea may be filled in within a few hundred years, further expanding the North China Plain.

Archaeology has revealed that eight thousand years ago people were already living on this land created by the Yellow River. The North China Plain—the cradle of Chinese civilization—has long been the most densely populated, economically vibrant, and culturally prosperous region in China, thanks to its fertile soil, temperate climate, and abundant rainfall brought by the Pacific monsoon that made this region ideal for agriculture. But while the Yellow River has nourished the people living on this land, it has also brought them devastation. As the riverbed rose, people were forced to continuously reinforce embankments to protect farmland and settlements on both sides. Over time, the riverbed gradually rose above the surrounding ground; in some areas, it now stands 5–10 meters above the terrain, turning the river into a "hanging river." Once an embankment breaks, it unleashes catastrophic flooding, sweeping away everything in its path. Historical records show that, in the past 2,500 years, the Yellow River has burst its banks 1,593 times and changed its course 26 times. Each time the river floods, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, or even millions of people are killed or displaced. The Yellow River flood of 1897, related to domestic unrest and poor maintainance, claimed the lives of two million (some say seven million) people. Efforts to manage the river have never stopped since ancient times. Perhaps no people in the world have had such a complex and paradoxical relationship with their mother river as the Chinese. They are deeply grateful for the nourishment she provides, yet they also harbor sorrow and frustration over her destructive force. But it is precisely through this intimate, turbulent relationship that the Yellow River has forged the perseverance, tenacity, hard work, and resilience of the Chinese people.

Chinese parents often use strict discipline to train their children, preparing them to face the severe challenges of life. This is not unrelated to the fact that they themselves grew up under the temper of the Yellow River. Westerners who embrace individualism tend to prioritize children’s independence and self-expression. Chinese parenting emphasizes perseverance, endurance, responsibility, and team spirit. This approach is deeply connected to their harsh living environment. In front of the Yellow River, individuals are insignificant. Controlling the Yellow River relies on collective strength. Therefore, Chinese philosophy places great emphasis on collectivism and teamwork. Western philosophy conceptualizes individuals as independent actors, prioritizing personal interests over collective concerns. In contrast, Chinese philosophy perceives individuals as interconnected and interdependent members of society with a common destiny and shared interests and responsibilities. This prioritization of collective concerns over individual interests is heavily influenced by their shared burden imposed by the Yellow River.

The fertile, rich, yet troubled land of the middle and lower reaches of the Yellow River allows the people living there to not only enjoy the blessings of the river but also face the challenges it brings. This paradox has nurtured the dialectical thinking of the Chinese people. Unlike Westerners who often perceive things in stark black-and-white terms, the Chinese recognize that opposing forces (yin and yang) coexist in all things, much like the river itself. Good fortune and misfortune, they believe, are interdependent. This awareness enables them to approach life with balance and equanimity, remain cautious in times of peace, and find opportunity in adversity. Chinese philosophy discourages simplistic and extreme ideologies, such as individualism, feminism, Darwinism, unipolarism, hegemonism, or zero-sum thinking. Instead, it embraces the idea that diverse elements complement and coexist peacefully, akin to the harmony between the sexes. The Confucian doctrine of the mean advocates for moderation, balance, and harmony amid contradiction. This seemingly modest approach allows them to coexist harmoniously within an environment that is both contradictory and integrated. This orientation also underlies the traditional Chinese aversion to factionalism and partisan politics—a perspective shaped, in part, by their experience with the Yellow River’s unpredictability and the need for unity in the face of natural disaster. (See Philosophies that Separate Two Worlds.)

Managing the Yellow River—an enormous task that spans vast territories and demands massive manpower, meticulous planning, and nationwide coordination—necessitates a unified, centralized government with strong planning and organizational capabilities. This need has deeply influenced China's political development. The emphasis on stability in Chinese political culture is rooted in the recognition that only a stable and capable government can manage a river of such scale. In fact, the origins of Chinese state power can be traced back to river management. Dayu, the founder of the Xia Dynasty (circa 2070 BC–1600 BC), the first dynasty recorded in Chinese history, was revered for organizing the people to regulate the Yellow River. With thousands of years of experience, the Chinese have become skilled at mass mobilization and organization, honing themselves into the most disciplined and well-managed people. This collective capability has enabled China to weather its greatest challenges. By contrast, the Western political model—based on individualism and partisanship, where competing interest groups take turns governing—may serve special interests well, but it does not align with China’s unique needs.

In conclusion, the character, philosophy, culture, and political system of the Chinese nation are deeply rooted in their relationship with the Yellow River. This influential river nurtures the people to embody qualities such as resilience, solidarity, generosity, magnanimity, and wisdom—reflecting the attributes of their mother river. A civilization that has endured and overcome such severe challenges for millennia is formidable—and must never be underestimated.

(See also: Understanding China: Geography, Confucianism, and the Chinese-Style Modernization.)

Paola Tacchetti

Zhou Dunyi (1017–1073), a Confucian scholar of the Northern Song Dynasty (960–1127), wrote a beautiful essay titled On the Love of the Lotus. Below is an English translation:

"There are many kinds of lovely flowers and plants. Tao Yuanming of the Jin Dynasty loved only chrysanthemums. Since the Tang Dynasty, admiration for peonies has become fashionable. But my favorite is the lotus: it emerges from the mud unstained, bathed by clear waters yet never coquettish. A symbol of purity, modesty, and perfection, it stands serenely, its fragrance spreading far and wide—something to be revered from a distance, not to be sullied. To me, the chrysanthemum is the hermit among flowers, the peony the aristocrat, and the lotus the true gentleman. Alas, few have loved the chrysanthemum since Tao Yuanming, and none love the lotus as I do. The peony, however, is adored by many."

This passage came to mind the first time I saw Paola Tacchetti dance tango. It was many years ago in Buenos Aires. She was still very young then, dancing socially at Salon Canning. Amid a crowd of seasoned dancers, she stood out—like a lotus rising gracefully above the water. Her partner, a well-known milonguero, kissed her hand after their dance, a gesture of admiration that left a lasting impression on me.

I was reminded of the essay again recently while watching some old videos of Paola dancing from that same period. Her style captivated me then, and it still does now. She dances with an effortless authenticity, free of pretense. There is a quiet, intrinsic beauty in her movement—one that stands in stark contrast to the contrived and showy trends so common today. Such innocence in tango is rare nowadays.

Tango reflects a dancer's character, values, aesthetic sensibilities, and taste. True beauty is like the lotus—gentlemanly in spirit: natural, simple, modest, and sincere, never ostentatious or arrogant. I hope Zhou Dunyi’s words might inspire more dancers to embody this spirit, just as Paola Tacchetti does—especially in our current age of spectacle and artifice.

Learning from a Talented Tango Girl

I was impressed by the skills, grace, musicality and control this little girl displayed in her dance, and believe adult dancers can learn something from her.

Here are few highlights from this dance.

Salida with forward step (0:07-0:14)
In a normal salida, the two partners step in parallel to the same side. But in this case the man alone took a side step to the left, while the girl swiveled her hips and took a forward rather than side step with her right leg, enabling her left leg to take another forward step and pivot, and her right leg to do a slow and beautiful planeo.

Split-leg turn and sandwich (0:26-0:31)
Most adult dancers do not spread their legs like a compass when turning, but this girl does that a lot, and she does it often in a reduced speed, adding grace to the movement. In this example, her split-leg turn is followed by a pause as the man sandwithed her, she then collected her leg and did a delicious curtsy, all executed flawlessly.

Barrida (0:33-0:36, 1:32-1:37)
The girl stepped forward with her right leg (or in the second case stepped back with her left leg) to allow the man to do a barrida—sweeping her right leg to the right with his right leg. She followed by collecting her left leg until her foot touched his foot, then crossing over to land on the other side of his foot. Barrida is generally an unobtrusive move, but her execution left an impression on me, mainly due to her control over the speed of the movement.

Ocho in slow motion (0:36-0:41)
Here the girl did an ocho at a deliberately slower pace. She knows how to dance fast, but she chooses to do some moves in slow motion, showing very good judgment. Most adult dancers don't care if they actually draw an 8 on the floor when they dance ocho, but this girl did just that carefully, making her ocho particularly beautiful.

Planeo (0:43-0:45)
This is another elegant planeo, also executed in slow motion. Adult dancers tend to exaggerate their movements, such as lowering the knee to create a larger planeo that is closer to the ground. But this girl's movements all look natural, without exaggeration, and the result is better, in my opinion, with innocent beauty.

Moving backwards with front ocho (1:40-1:45)
Another example of ocho at slower pace. This time she used greater hip rotation to move backward with a front ocho. Most adult dancers turn too hastily, so their ocho lacks the beauty it deserves. This girl, however, is particularly good at using slow motion to show the grace of her movements, espcially when involving rotation, demonstrating excellent musicality, control, and aesthetic sense.

Sandwich (2:10-2:19)
Another sandwich in slow motion with a captivating deep knee flexion.

Overall, I was very impressed by this little girl's sophistication, or rather, talent. I hope that adult dancers can learn the ease with which she dances, in particular, learn to slow down the pace when doing turns, pivots, ochos, and planeos, because, as this little girl demonstrated, that will add grace to the dance. This means that leaders also need to slow down the pace to allow women to infuse elegance to their performance.